Massivecock

George W. Bush Resume

Past work experience:
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Ran for congress and lost.

Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.

With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments: Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.

Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.

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Accomplishments as president:
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Attacked and took over two countries.

Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.

Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.

Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.

Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.

Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.

Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

Signed more laws and executive orders circumventing the Constitution than any president in US history.

Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)

Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Chevron oil tanker named after her).

Had more states to simultaneously go bankrupt than any president in the history of the United States.

Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.

First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.

First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.

Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

Withdrew from the World Court of Law.

Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

First US president to establish a secret shadow government.

Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

Fist US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.

Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.

Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.

In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.

Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

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Records and References:
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At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).

AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.

Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.

For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

Kapitan Ivanov

mine is fairly similar.

galleryseek

sounds like a gfy kinda president.

ServerGenius

But he did it all to free the people in Iraq

DynaMite

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jollyperv

And I guarantee the fuckhead goes another 4 years in office.

Triple 6

I dont think so. Americans will want to forget him as quick as possible and will not let him run another 4. Shit, Id rather have Clinton back - fuck it, even his damn wife as prez would be better. SHe can boost the economy by having an affair with an intern alone. Times will be good.

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Kapitan Ivanov

Americans are all dumb idiots that exist purely so that we can make money from them. Thankyou.



Ivanov

KC

I read it on the internet it must be true!!

Donnie Gangsta

the economy was pretty shitty from march of 2000 on.. but besides that, yeah..

but he appeals to your average redneck american, so he'll probably be re-elected..

Kapitan Ivanov

You mean 'patriot'.

Donnie Gangsta

http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=^DJI&d=c&t=5y&l=on&z=b&q=l



hm.. i take that back.. that was just tech stocks which were shitty after march '00 .. look at the dow since this guy came into office..
..

heh..

Donnie Gangsta

yeah, that. GO USA!

BVF

You Go Girl !!!

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SpaceAce

You guys are losing perspective. The real issue is that no one sucked his dick in the Oval Office. That's what's truly important. Isn't it?

SpaceAce

ServerGenius

I beg to differ.....you don't get an oil tanker named after you
for nothing......

DynaMite

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SpaceAce

I hadn't considered that.

SpaceAce

SpaceAce

I'm surprised he didn't name one the <I>Pablo Escobar</I>.

SpaceAce

Kapitan Ivanov

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ServerGenius

He already got a baseball stadium named after him

DynaMite

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Paul Markham

You forget a couple.

Made more money out of being President than any other.

Spent more money to get elected than any other President. Which is why you are stuck with me now and will be again.

The big question is how did he first get selected to run for President then elected?

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Theo

one more election and they'll hit ground 0

steffie

AND YOU ALL VOTED FOR HIM

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ServerGenius

Ignoring voting results.....maybe?

DynaMite

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donnie

Who gives a shit what you (or any other american) want?? Supreme Court will once again take care of voting.

ServerGenius

My bad.....manipulating voting results. Of all the people in the
world 70% of the people in Florida play bingo the whole fucking
day. You would expect they know how to fill out a voting form.

DynaMite

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Herb Kornfield

Also you forgot to add that the continous raising and lower of terror alert system is probably blowing thru money like no tommorrow.

It is really a drag that on holiday weekends like Memorial day, where it was a time to open up summer party season and just get loose, you now have National Guard troops, state police and everyone out on the lookout for the bad guys.

Now, its all a "hightened state of terror alert" by a group of people that we are monitoring constantly, yet, out of all this activity, Osama cant be located?...Saddam never found???

The Terrorists are winning each and every day that you let them hold your mind hostage to teeter in fear.

Maybe if less people and groups stirred shit with each other, everything would cool out and get back to just living.

ServerGenius

The whole point of high allerts is to keep people scared so they
can pass more bullshit laws that restrict your rights more and more.

How bitter it might sound.....it's part of the game plan.

DynaMite

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Paul Markham

The US public has been fed a diet of fear ever since the Second World War.

Firstly it was the Communist, how much blood and money was spent on making sure two Asian rice growing counties did not fall to those Reds?

Then it was on to South America and with the US locked into the "Reds are Coming" fear. Elected goverments over thrown, terrorist paid and supported, is an anti communist a terrorist or a freedom fighter?

After the collapse of Communism there was little left to get the US people back on the road of spending billions of dollars on defence. Until Osam stood up.

Now the war with Iraq is over Bush is still trying to sell the war on terrorism. If he was serious about stopping it he would romve the biggest cause. The US support of Israel.

Why does the Us support this nation of orange and olive groves. Because a load of bankers can trace their roots back to that country. Some have to go back 1,0000 or more years but who cares. They own the banks.

But so long as what ever leaders the US has, can control the news and the fear. They can control the people. Don't believe me? Watch the news tonight and time how much is devoted to fear.

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SexySarah

sheep are easy to scare

ServerGenius

You seem to talk out of experience

DynaMite

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SexySarah

<img src="http://www.npr.org/programs/atc/features/2001/nov/sheep/whiteface_dartmoor.jpg">

ServerGenius

I knew it

DynaMite

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Tala

Family picture? So which one is your mom??

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SexySarah

she'll eat you alive


<img src="http://www.shawnbehrens.de/gfx/killshe1.jpg">

Tala

I'm guessing that's supposed to be a wolf in sheep's clothing, but next time have your uncle stand still to snap the photo. This one is really much too blurry.

And I have absolutely no fear of either wolves or sheep. Both of them must run in groups (pack/herd) to be comfortable. Neither can really do anything on their own.

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SexySarah

fuck terrorism

here's something to really be scared about:

http://www.shawnbehrens.de/kilsheep/world.htm

theking

Please tell us all how much money the President has made since he has been in office.

He was selected by the American voters. He was elected by winning the electoral votes.

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Flow

It's pretty sad that out of that massive list, this is your only defense

12clicks

And yet with your impressive resume' all you can manage is to become an annoying poster on an adult chat board.

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rooster

the far left is scary.

massive, guys like you agenda is obvious. When it comes to someone conservative, you can put together a whole list of complete lies and spin.

But when it comes to a leftist like clinton the only thing you can come up with is a blowjob. I suggest you research harder, much harder.

woodman

Interesting how he still has consistant approval rating in the 60-70% range. I guess 70% of the American public are idiots.


Btw. thanks jr. for the new raise I get via the tax package passed today. Better the money be in my hand than the govt. spenders.

woodman

ADMINISTRATION RECORDS SET
- The only president ever impeached on grounds of personal malfeasance
- Most number of convictions and guilty pleas by friends and associates
- Most number of cabinet officials to come under criminal investigation
- Most number of witnesses to flee country or refuse to testify
- Most number of witnesses to die suddenly
- First president sued for sexual harassment.
- First president accused of rape.
- First first lady to come under criminal investigation
- Largest criminal plea agreement in an illegal campaign contribution case
- First president to establish a legal defense fund.
- Greatest amount of illegal campaign contributions
- Greatest amount of illegal campaign contributions from abroad
Number of individuals and businesses associated with the Clinton machine who have been convicted of or pleaded guilty to crimes: 47
- Number of these convictions during Clinton's presidency: 33
- Number of indictments/misdemeanor charges: 61
- Number of imprisonments: 14
- Number of congressional witnesses who have pled the 5th Amendment, fled the country to avoid testifying, or (in the case of foreign witnesses) refused to be interviewed: 124
CRIMES FOR WHICH CONVICTIONS HAVE BEEN OBTAINED
Drug trafficking (3), racketeering, extortion, bribery(4), tax evasion, kickbacks, embezzlement (2), fraud (12), conspiracy (5), fraudulent loans, illegal gifts(1), illegal campaign contributions(5), money laundering (6)
UNEXPLAINED PHENOMENA
- FBI files misappropriated by the White House: c. 900
- Estimated number of witnesses quoted in FBI files misappropriated by the White House: 18,000
- Number of witnesses who developed medical problems at critical points in Clinton scandals investigation (Tucker, Hale, both McDougals, Lindsey): 5
- Problem areas listed in a memo by Clinton's own lawyer in preparation for the president's defense: 40
- Number of witnesses and critics of Clinton subjected to IRS audit: 45
- Number of names placed in a White House secret database without the knowledge of those named: c. 200,000
- Number of persons involved with Clinton who have been beaten up: 2
- Number of women involved with Clinton who claim to have been physically threatened (Sally Perdue, Gennifer Flowers, Kathleen Willey, Linda Tripp, Elizabeth Ward Gracen): 5
- Number of men involved in the Clinton scandals who have been beaten up or claimed to have been intimidated: 10

CraigA

70% are idiots? I'd say that's a pretty fair assessment. And daddy Bush's approval rating was way up after the Gulf War too, but the economy was in terrible shape and the little boost he gained from the war was lost in the election. George Dubya is a sham steamrolled over the vast majority of the American public.

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detoxed

half of those things were the results of the internet cash grab, not any President, if anything, it was Clinton's fault for not regulating more strictly the billion of dollars thrown around for websites that were worthless.

Honeyslut

I did not...

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eRock

I couldn't have said it better myself....

The rest are just completely clueless

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eRock

The country was in a reccession BEFORE Bush was even sworn into office, genius.

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nxventures

Are you an idiot? Where did you go for that information, it is all either completely slanted or just plain incorrect. Lemme break it down for you, because I think maybe in PORN terms is all you may be able to understand: if you are about to fuck a hooker, and pay her pimp, do you ask the pimp, who will be quite partial to getting the cash, if she is clean?

Sigh.

nxventures

I am sure it was him and not a destabalized WORLD economy based on TECH stocks that have been unstable since 98, when alot of .com's were dropping, and weren't reported on because of the interest of broadcasting companies? I am also sure it is because of his big ears and not because Sept. 11th scared the bejesus out of investors and how easy it was to lose money?

[Labret]

ding ding ding, give that man a prize.