Tube Ace

50 gay GFY stalkers all in one thread, how lovely.

k0nr4d

You seem to be 13 of them, I counted

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NoWhErE

You must be aggressively average if you're said to look like over 100 other men. Unless someone said you look like Michael Keaton in Multiplicity... then it makes sense.

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Tube Ace

How many men named "Sexiest Man Alive" have you been told you look like?

Michael Keaton is not blond and have never heard I look like him.

sarettah

so, your only real claim to fame here, the thing that you feel most proud of is your looks

something that you had absolutely no control of and was accomplished by the simple act of being born

so your entire accomplishment, of your entire 40 years on this planet, that you base all of your bragging on, is that you were born

that's a pretty low bar there.

.

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NoWhErE

Whoooosh

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NoWhErE

I think his claim to fame is his Tube Ace plugin. I guess he sold a bunch back in the day. Can't say I've ever seen a tube built with his plugin get any kind of substantial amount of traffic.

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CaptainHowdy

The dude is like Vincent Van Gogh, he is not working the sales angle at all.

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sarettah

nah, he goes on about his perception of his looks way more than he discusses any of his products

he bases his claims of success as a man on his looks

he bases his failures on his looks

his entire identity is based on his looks

he also tries to insult others based on things they have no control over, how they look, how old they are, etc

so, i stand by what i said, his sole accomplishment in his entire 40 years of life seems to be that he was born

.

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Tube Ace

It has been brought to my attention that this is the actual photo of one of my biggest fans here on GFY. Can't say I'm surprised.

Mr Pheer

I absolutely rock a formal kilt.

Tube Ace

clearly.

JesseQuinn

yeps, pretty much


niiiice. digits?

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Tube Ace

^ I got this broad ready to blow a toad in a sad attempt to make me jealous. Damn, I'm even more amazing than I thought.

I had friends who would follow me around in my clubbing days to catch my "fallout pussy". Their term not mine. Kind of like guys going to a John Mayer concert to pick up girls. He can't fuck them all.

brassmonkey

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plsureking

the core problem is that he is the only one on this board who cares what anyone else looks like. the members on gfy care about the shape of a graph, not the shape of your nose or belly.

he signs in every day just to fail. no progress in business, career, or socialization, and can't even make $100 a day. my 12yo kid is making more than $100 a day selling Roblox games.

i think he's trying to get that gfy troll award
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k0nr4d

None, man. They're the ones that get told they look like me

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Tube Ace

Not even on your best day, bruh.

NatalieMojoHost

I feel a little uneasy about all the trolling you get TubeAce, though this is GFY and that's kind of what happens here. Why you are fanning the flames though?

I get it. You like the way you look very much. Appearance is not something I'd list in the top 10 virtues, so to me that's not so important, but it's ok to be proud of what you look like. I don't mean to diminish your accomplishments - you spent a bunch of time and effort improving your appearance to suit what you think is appealing and good for you. I wouldn't make that the apex of my existence, but different people have different core values and that's ok.
What is not easy for me to understand is your goal. Are you trying to get all gfyers to agree that you're very handsome? Why? Some of your posts suggest that you think you are better than everyone else due to the way you look, and that's probably what precipitates a lot of hostility against you. Maybe it's time to make peace with the other GFYers and try to be part of the community.

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Tube Ace

I hope you got a paternity test because I can say with absolute certainty that no woman ever looked at you and said "wow, I wanna have his baby".

Tube Ace

Hi Natalie,

I appreciate your concern, but dealing with jealousy and envy is nothing new to me.

Some people like to brag that they have more money than me, sell more copies of their software..

I have things that all the money in the world can't buy and there is NOTHING they can do about it. Their women fantasize about men like me. This is why there is hostility against me.

plsureking

this is probably over your head, since you can't even make enough to feed yourself, let alone a family, but your stupidity is actually harming society. a successful troll needs a brain and your IQ is really low

"Non-stupid people always underestimate the damaging power of stupid individuals. In particular non-stupid people constantly forget that at all times and places and under any circumstances to deal and/or associate with stupid people always turns out to be a costly mistake."





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Tube Ace

^ Says the dork responsible for this masterpiece:



If anyone has been bestowed with the Dunning–Kruger effect, it's the chubster you see in the mirror.

Matyko

what a thread!

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plsureking

that's awesome thanks for posting the PornCMS landing page screenshot again.

its like free advertising

let's see how you sell a SaaS product?

oh wait, you are broke and your product failed

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sarettah

once again, the thing you are most proud of you had absolutely no control over

.

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Tube Ace

I've been traveling around the world the past 6 years. Compared to mine, your life is a compete failure. The businesses I have in the works will create generational wealth.

Tube Ace

My piercing blue eyes which I have received hundreds if not thousands of compliments on are a gift from my father, true.

However, I can move mountains with these powerful shoulders I have built.



The athletic feats I can perform on a whim would kill your weak body and soul at the mere attempt.



I have a sound body AND mind, as all world-class athletes do.



Now what have you EVER done in your sad, pathetic life besides play GFY hall monitor, you miserable old man?

k0nr4d

Why would someone do that? Why make the fries so fucking soggy??

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Tube Ace

Canadians do it as well, with a dish they call poutine. They're fucking delicious.

adtrafic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVJ6dyYEiQc

You should do a podcast

CaptainHowdy

He does the Youtube robotic voiceover pretty well . . .

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NatalieMojoHost

Uh-uh

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Kittens

You know what the craziest thing about TubeAce's obsession with his looks?

He's not even that attractive. He's the most boring mundane looks ever. Go to any bar in any city with over 10k population at like 11PM and you'll see 150 guys who look exactly like him.

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King Mark

For who?

You got your kids living the nomad life too?

Tjeezers

If this thread goes in the direction of who is the Best Looking Webmaster, I'll throw in a piece of art too.

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Tube Ace

You haven't got a clue. The queen of GFY, Sarah of Zuzana Designs (along with thousands of other women) has said I'm sexy.

My physical attributes are highly sought after and everything women say they want in a man describes me.

My father did not provide me with financial or moral support, but he did bestow me with incredible genetics. I have been called an adonis or "a genetic wonder" by medical professionals, including a group of female nurses who insisted the Birthday Girl do body shots off my wonderfully sculpted physique in a bar at 8 o'clock in the morning (I mean... hey, it was in New Orleans). I presumingly (see DNA test results below) have the type of genetics a World War was started over.

Height: 6'2"* (188 cm) - I could say I'm 6'3" since every guy adds an inch, but I'm 6'2" barefoot, which is widely considered the perfect height for a man. Every man in my family is over 6 feet tall. My brother is 6'6" and was the tallest student in his high school graduating class. My father is 6'1". Maternal grandfather was 6'1 and my uncle (mother's brother) is same height as myself. My height alone puts me in the top 4%.

Hair: Blond w/ no receding hairline. My maternal grandfather had a full head of hair when he passed away in his 70s. (fun fact: blonde is the #1 hair color of women who dye their hair and on average spend over $60,000 USD in their lifetime to match the color of mine and my people)

Eyes: Blue - My eyes are the physical feature I receive the most compliments on, with my height being second. Blue eyes are the second most rare eye color among humans globally, with only 8% of the population having them.

Waist: 32"* (34" inseam)

Chest: 40"-42"* Jacket

Member size: I have never had any complaints. Although it does have a darker shade than the rest of my body, probably due to all the friction.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual (much to the dismay of the thousands of gay men who I am worshiped and stalked by)

* These are the traditional proportions of a male fashion runway model (see cited source below) which I have been assumed to be on many occasions (also see below for examples).

I can make a list of 50+ celebrities who I have been told I look like, but here are a few off the top of my head (in order of being told during my lifetime)

Macaulay Culkin - This was my nickname given to me by the girls in Sunday school. I was actually cuter than Macaulay Culkin, see link to photo below)

Vanilla Ice - Not sure if they were serious or not because I didn't have the cool zig zag lines shaved in my hair at 11 years old since my overbearing mother wouldn't allow it)

Zack Morris - Played by Mark-Paul Gosselaar in the hit 90s TV show 'Saved by the Bell'. That dude scored Kelly Kapowski, many of my generation's first crush.

Jim Carrey - Probably due to the fact I made a lot of silly faces, although I do consider him a fellow handsome man.

Leonardo Dicaprio** - I've just now hit puberty. I think I share the same genetics with this guy. See the 1995 movie 'The Basketball Diaries', where he played a character 6 years younger than he was in real life. Like Leo, I was such a "late bloomer" that my friend asked me if I shaved my armpit hair since I had little to none at 15 years old, while he was a year younger than me, although this friend would later be bald by age 21.

Devon Sawa - Starred in mid 90s Casper movie, Final Destination series and Eminem's 'Stan' music video)

Matt Damon** - Told to me by the girl I lost my virginity to at age 17 (I lied and told her I was 18 so she would let me bang, since I didn't realize the age of consent is 17 in Louisiana anyway). She was 21 and had a boyfriend who said it turned him on at the thought of me sleeping with her. (See below for pricing of additional services)

Tim Robbins - I didn't realize he was in Top Gun as well, but I guess it's understandable since he didn't have as big a role as Maverick and Iceman.

Brad Pitt** - Could be worse, right?

Steve McQueen - Somebody asked if I was his son in a bar about 7 years ago

Alexander Skarsgård

Harrison Ford**

Boyd Holbrook (Netflix series 'Narcos' DEA agent)

Bradley Cooper**

Colton something - My mother told me this one since she's watches those ridiculous Hallmark movies, which probably leads to her delusion of still landing a husband at her age. Anyways, she says he's a hunk.

Chris Hemsworth** - "He's Thor" which I've heard. I was never "fat Thor" though. I've always been on the slim/lean side.

** Denotes winners of People Magazine's 'Sexiest Man Alive' or '100 Most Beautiful People'

"If you're so good looking, why aren't you a model or movie star?" you may be asking. As I mentioned earlier, I grew up in bum fuck Louisiana and there aren't too many modeling scouts thereabouts. I only went to New York City for the first time in 2015, at age 33 where people would say things such as:

"Definitely a model" while walking up the street on 5th avenue in Manhattan.

While walking towards each other up the street, one young lady asked her friend as she pointing at me "What about him?", to which her friend replied "10!". I assume she was ranking me on a 1-10 scale or guessing my member size (in inches, of course).

"I thought that was Brad Pitt!" said by a woman next to me while standing on the curb of the crosswalk waiting for the light to change.

"Brad Pitt just walked in" a young man jokingly muttered to a female in their group seated at a bar in Manhattan to which she replied while laughing "don't do that!!".

I have seen several A-list celebrities checking me out while walking the streets or in airports.

Furthermore, I am not just a pretty face. I have always been a natural athlete. I was the only white kid on my middle school basketball team. This may not sound too impressive, but please also understand I can still perform physical feats which would kill 99% of humans. I have run over 30 marathons (most of which I ran during COVID). On my 40th birthday, I ran 40 miles (the longest distance I've run to date) to celebrate and prove I have not peaked physically and I am still getting better every year. In a few weeks, I will run 41 miles on my 41st birthday and plan to do so every year after until it kills me.

I hope that I have qualified myself in the looks department, but I could go on further and provide additional examples of my genetic blessings. Sure, why not...

While running through the streets shirtless, I have heard many (hundreds if not thousands of) women involuntary moan or grunt as I pass them by, sometimes even with their male partner walking next to them (sorry, guys you may need to try harder). I have also caused many close-call traffic accidents with women running red lights and stop signs while they were mesmerized by my galloping stride. "Horse genetics" was another term I just reminded myself of hearing from a man watching me run on the soft sands of the beach.

The most common words I hear about myself on a daily basis are "who is this guy?!?" as I run by fellow expats in the popular tourist destination of which I live, looking like an anonymous olympic runner. "My baby daddy" is another title frequently claimed by young women admiring the results of my dedication of being a distance runner and gym goer. Of course, getting this much attention from my female admirers is met with hostile replies from my unworthy adversaries, who must resort to cowardly mutters of "show off" or "he's probably gay" to squash the hopes and dreams of attaining the sperm of such a man as myself.

"Anywayyyy" is the second most heard phrase when groups of people give me a look over and one attempts to change the subject, which is usually said by the least attractive in the group. Can't a guy just go grocery shopping without people fawning over my statuesque presence everyday?

Sources cited:

Women will spend £50k in their lifetime dyeing their hair – with blonde the most popular colour: https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/10...t-women-spend/

Men named Sexiest Man Alive: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People...iest_Man_Alive

Model Measurements: Industry Standards & the Transition Toward Diversity: https://www.backstage.com/magazine/a...rements-75473/

23andme DNA results: https://i.imgur.com/6SOfdOH.png

Tube Ace

My future wife is only about 15 years old right now, so until then..

k0nr4d

Pffftt, like a garden gnome. 6'4"

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JesseQuinn

no doubt...I can guess you rubbed one out just rereading what you posted. in front of a mirror of course, for double the stimulus

but if you can land Tiffani Thiessen it's all good I guess


I just remembered who you remind me of. not looks cuz I could give a fuck less about yours, but personality. Patrick Bateman

just relax dude, one day you'll get into Dorsia and your hair looks fine

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Tube Ace

Mr Pheer resembles a garden gnome.

I'm leading man material, but you can be on TV too.

Tube Ace

I've never heard I look like Bale. Although I have had people tell me I'm either a superhero or serial killer.

How much less could you care?

JesseQuinn

I couldn't, I'm just winding down after my last show and am finding your self-imposed non-existent career assassination akin to a car accident...you don't want to see it but you can't help but look

the book is WAY better than the movie. if you haven't read it check it out

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Tube Ace

Saw the Broadway play in NYC in 2016. Maybe Brett Easton Ellis will write about a character similar to me one day.

adtrafic

I thought the sexiest man alive of modern history was Henry Cavill. He has dark hair, receding hair, light eyes and a very marked jaw.

And the sexiest man in the world from another era was Paul Newman who has the clear eyes characteristic of Ashkenazim Jews.

Tube Ace

Cavill is anti-woke, doesn't date, but yes, he is the reigning King of /r/LadyBoners https://www.reddit.com/r/LadyBoners/ with a god-tier jaw.

Paul Newman is frequently mentioned there as well.

The woke Reddit mob turned on Chris Pratt since he's a proud conservative.

I wish more Hollywood celebs made more posts like this:

CaptainHowdy

That character ain't supposed to be taken at face value . . .

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JesseQuinn

my comment flew right over his head lol. but c'mon, he totally acts like Bateman

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baddog

Didn't she say a fuck less?

JesseQuinn

sigh...I wrote that I could less about Tube's appearance. my comment was that he acts like the book character Patrick Bateman

jeez, learn to read

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