I agree 100%

And not all strippers are hookers, either. A lot of them have kids and families to support, and to them it's just a job too. So peddling smut it's ok to look down your nose at others, but BEING a stripper makes you wild? Doesn't matter if you fuck on cam, you provide pornography on the internet, in one form or another, period. You cannot sell porn and look down your nose at it.. doesn't work.

Sounds to me like your man just wants a good time.. Deny him if you want, it's your life and your relationship. I think I would be grateful that he was willing to TELL me what he wanted and where he was going.. Too many guys would have gone and said "fuck the gf I'm going to have my fun". Appreciate the fact that he's honest, and give him a little trust. If you can't trust him, why the FUCK are you with him?

Like I said in 6 months she wont have to worry about this

Deny him what he wants? What about what I want?? I don't have to cater to a man's every whim and desire. I also feel that he should be happy to be with ME, why do I have to sacrifice?

Just because you "want" to do something, doesn't mean that you should HAVE to go do it. There's plenty of stuff that I would like to do, but some of the consequences would not be worth it so I know how to control myself. I think he should be the same

It's called comprimise. I have to agree with Escort on this one, you won't have to worry about it for long. And if this guy DOES stick around he must be pretty whipped. Why should he deny himself and cater to YOUR whims and desires? You have to meet in the middle in a relationship. But reality will hit like a cold Monday morning soon enough. Get a few more years on you and you'll see what I mean.

Why not just do what I did?
Goto Strip Club meet the girl of your dreams, kick the wife out out on her ass and call it even for all parties?

The wife for being a kunt.
The stripper for being a good person helpin a guy out when he is down.
The Guy by having balls enough to go out and getting better pussy after years of being treated like shit from stank nasty ex wife whore.

Yes you do.

Doesn't really matter what everyone else here thinks does it?

All that matters is what the two of you decide is right for you.

What's the compromise if he goes? Where did HE compromise? Seems like IIIIIIII would be doing all the compromising. That doesn't seem like half-way to mee at ALL.

That's why you ask for something in return.

Ok where's the popcorn?

I think the physical contact definitely makes the cheating argument stronger.


This does bring an interesting question--where do you draw the line? Does a boyfriend/girlfriend having cybersex with someone else constitute cheating?

That's true. A famous study released a while back indicated that using the Y Chromosome genetic tracing, a large percentage of children born in the US are not genetically fathered by their legal "father"

Disturbing.

Taking turns? You make a comprimise, he makes one, and then it all evens out in the end? Why bother keeping score? Anyways, have fun, best of luck.

I agree. I think anything that makes your significant other uncomfortable consttitutes cheating and people have to draw their own lines. Some people like to swap partners and are fine with it, some other people are uncomfortable with strippers, whatever, it's different for everyone.

If something makes your significant other unhappy, why would you want to continue doing it? If you love someone enough you should be willing to do whatever it takes to make them happy.

I'd cater to yours, hotstuff!

If you feel so strongly, why bother asking? not being bitchy, just curious.

It can get quite extreme. I knew this Japanese exchange student who had a wife. They were a very traditional couple. Whenever his male friends are around she would never look at people in the eye and would even talk while staring at the ground.


But you're right, different strokes [no pun intended] for different folks.

The thread is titled:
"Is it cheating if a guy with a girlfriend gets a lapdance at a stripclub? "

Good question but really...
Since when do women start considering guys there property once the dick has been stuck in?

Its clear in Marriage. Women have the upper hand in marriage capable of fucking the male for the rest of his life and taking 1/2 if not everything in value.
Its a bad business decison period.

Biggest advice to any male out there...

NEVER EVER GET FUCKIN MARRIED.

You are indeed property after that day.

Because I want other peoples opinions, to see if I'm right or not.

Well there's only two options. He goes, or doesn't go.

If he doesn't go, where's the compromise? Where did YOU compromise? Seems like heeeeeeeee would be doing all the compromising.

WELL SAID!

Oh man. The day an opinion on relationships is considered right because GFY backed up the opinion is the day I turn gay.

You can also add a link to that recent study that concluded that married people are not any more happier than unmarried people.

How about I compromise that he can go as long as I can come too? I have no problem with him going if I can come, but I have a feeling he will think it's weird, and just wants to have a boys night out. Is that a good compromise?

Depends. Are you going to have fun and hang out? Or are you going to sit there with a clipboard writing down infractions? :winkwink:

I have no idea what your relationship is like. Maybe he just wants a night out? If you two spend every night and day together then a night out is good. If you two don't do anything together at all, then this may not be so good.

All the stupid smartass comments aside, you two have to find what's right for you...not what's right for a group of people on an adult messageboard.

i don't think its really cheating but i wouldn't do it, but thats easy for me since i don't like strip clubs anyhow. not all guys constantly need female attention from others than their own girlfriend. and i know guys who have cheated with strippers, so shit can happen there, but chances are it won't.

That's a good answer. I'm sure I can try to have a good time and not take note of too many infractions, but I don't think he would do anything bad with me around. I don't know if he would like it though, I have a feeling he'll say "but all the other guys girlfriends don't mind and aren't coming, it's embarassing" or something like that. And yeah, I know GFY is not a great place to get relationship advice, but I just wanted to try and test the waters. :helpme

"How about I compromise that he can go as long as I can come too? "

Now you sound like a keeper:)

marriage is a bad business decision. i want a prenup that says i get everything if it heads south. bet that'd fly.

btw, I live alone now (man, the peace and quiet rocks), but when I did live with various women, I used to LOVE it when they went out for chick's night out. Was nice having the place to myself and doing whatever I wanted without having someone else around. I used to hope for chick's night out sometimes. heh.

get crazy with the strippers yourself, and he'll be like a kid in a candy store. all girls are bi anyways, so just dive in!

thats a shitty excuse...

get a new guy..cause if he's willing to pay a chick to grind his dick with clothes on, imagine what he'll let a chick do if its for free..

NEXT!!!

it's not cheating if it a russian stripper that beats the fuck out of the guy.

You don't want anything but to argue. You're wrong, you're a feminist and you won't have it any other way. Enjoy being single.

:2 cents:

totally agree with that one

You're at the wrong place...oh and don't try and talk him outta it...
as I remember a song I heard the other day..

guy singing...not exactly sure how it goes, but pretty much to this effect...

we don't care
we aren't sorry
and it'll probably happen again


So...believe me...my man would be out on his ass if he even asked...I do too much for him for him to go and do something I'm not chill with...


Fuck him, there is nothing feminist about it Jact...
nothing wrong with watching out for how you feel...cause god knows now a days no one will do it for you

its not the night out with the guys you should be worried about..its when he wants to go all by himself...being a stripper for 15 years i can say guys in a group are just having fun..more with each other than with the girls... guys that go by themselves have an agenda to get something they dont get at home....let him go.. show him trust.. more n likely you will cross his mind a few times in the evening....

Oh well, about the compromise, I asked him if if he would mind if I came along to and got a lapdance too (because I know he gets turned on by girl-on girl action) but he got really mad . Guess he just wants to go with his friends, I think more than anything he just wants to be free and not be "put on check" and have a girl constantly tell him what to do. Oh Well, he can go fuck himself, good riddance.

My main attraction to strip clubs is the psychology of it all... especially in Vegas you get some very creative women... Some of these women are extremely smart -- and unraveling their lies and movements is like solving a beautiful jigsaw puzzle... Do you think it's just tits and ass when guys throw down a few grand? Who wouldn't pay for a masterpiece of seduction? a stripper can appeal to all of your senses. Most every lap dance I ever got I remember vividly... the stripclub is like a dreamland -- -- you pick your girl -- have your personalized dream -- then you wake up... no strings attached.

Other selling points of a smart strip club is that the women are there to be compassionate... lots of guys need affection, someone to give a shit, or maybe some soothing for whatever neurotic problem... but most of these women have troubled lives themselves... so it's a sort of fucked up therapy session... the women get to pretend they are somebody else -- they are admired and adored... the men drool and then the strippers use borrowed or personalized methods of exploitation... a real legitimate stripper will profit from dishing out the truth... The truth is worth good cash if the clients are there to appreciate it... what could be more honest than seduction purely for the sake of seduction... no wedding, no flowers, no diamond ring... just pure poetic seduction as convenient as fast food.

I don't think there's anything wrong with him going to a stripclub, but you should provide enough excitement that he wouldn't need a lapdance. Now if you where to go with him for some reason, I don't see a problem if you bought him a lapdance.

The strip clubs that he wants to probably goto (Around OC) suck anyways.

Yup go fuck himself and make sure that you get home AFTER he does...like 2 days after...and make sure to say I went out with friends...he probably won't care.

Get a new guy, he doesn't want to compromise, neither should you.

Ppl talk about realtionships like there is only one person for you in a world of 6 billion...

Um, hello, phogirl, how is it that you are missing the point of going to the strip club for starters?

You are paying the strippers to go away.

:)

Hehehe that was funny 'heeeeeeeee'

Well, if you know he just wants a night out with his friends, asking to tag along would probably piss him off.

And no one wants anyone constantly telling them what to do.

Now we know why he wants a night out with the guys. No one constantly telling him what to do.

Um hi, ex stripper here who'd like to put in 2 cents.

Women need to grow up when they get that knee jerk reaction 'oh my Gawwwd, he's looking at another gurrrrrl!!!' Lol. Men NEED variety visually and mentally. It's when they don't get it that way that they go out and find it physically. And the answer is definitely that it depends on the lapdance. Some dancers do regular lapdances.. others are basically hookers. If you have a guy who respects you, he won't go too far. But as far as a regular lapdance, no, it's not cheating unless your boyfriend is trying to pick up on her. If he's paying her to do a dance and that's the end of it, trust me, the dancer is not thinking she wants your boyfriend, and since there's no chance he's gonna get her (99% of the time), then it's harmless fun.

A better argument would be that it's cheating for your guy to hit the bar at night with his guy friends where there is an actual possibility of him getting a date.

what will you get? your boyfriend will be horny from the strip club and when he gets home you will get better sex than usual. theres your "comprimise".

well when he beats his meat( and considering your poor sexual appetite hes doing it pretty often) do u consider that cheating?

Nice site! I saw your EXTENSIVE FREE SECTION & I want to offer you & your hubby some work together or separate. Call me any time. BTW ? I couldn?t agree with you more on your post, I was a stripper for 9 years and us men are pigs you know, but I only fucked a few of my audience members out of 5000 parties.

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Dito! I have represented girls that have been doing B/G porn behind thier man's back for years and some of those boyfriend's waited in my driveway while I fucked the frown off her face for my site and she wiped the cum off her chin and took off with a grin & he never caught on to her sin!