Funniest email ever recieved by webmaster relations - GoFuckYourself.com

howard · 04-29-2003, 12:11 PM

(I took the name out)

Hello! My name is ***** ******. The user of this
account and I need your help. I don't know a thing
about making money on this website. I'm having a
problem and I need to make at least $50,000 before the
end of next month. I know you are probably saying that
is alot of money. I am unable to work right now
because of my back and I need some bills to be paid
before June. I am asking you to please help me. I
couldn't possibly generated those many sales. I have
no money or job and I live with my mom for the time
period. I need to have surgery on my back and my
stomach. I have had a large amount of miscarriage last
year and now it is difficult for me right now to live
without any financial. I am not qualified for any
government service such as welfare and the doctor says
that I'm not qualified for disability because they
can't tell whether it will be permanent. Please help
me! I want to be able to have children and the stress
that I have been under. It will be impossible. I need
a total of $834,750.00, but please help me generated
at least $50,000. The correctional surgery from all
those miscarriages, my back and treatment and therapy,
plus all my doctor bills already. My mother is slaving
herself at her job and she has a problem with her back
also. She went to the doctor this past Wednesday. I
know that you don't know me but it is very important
and I don't even know where to start to raise this
kind of money. I am not qualified to receive a loan
because I am not currently working and has no income
whatsoever. Please help me! Thank you and have a
blessed day!

hahahahahahahaha=
*******

www.adultplex.com

$37.50 per free 30 minute trial

Gary · 04-29-2003, 12:13 PM

So, dont be an ass, help the poor lady out.

Tala · 04-29-2003, 12:13 PM

Reak · 04-29-2003, 12:15 PM

SleazyDream · 04-29-2003, 12:15 PM

obviously you don't have much of an affiliate program if all your people think they can make is $50K a month.....

Theo · 04-29-2003, 12:18 PM

"I need a total of $834,750.00"

Bryan Havoc · 04-29-2003, 12:20 PM

Believe me, we're trying to help her out as best we can, but generating enough traffic as a total 100 percent newbie to make $50,000 by the end of the month... I'm not going to say impossible because as soon as I say something's impossible, somebody will prove me wrong, but it's highly unlikely.

Bryan Havoc · 04-29-2003, 12:30 PM

Seems to me like she's looking for a handout.

"I want to be able to have children and the stress
that I have been under. It will be impossible. I need
a total of $834,750.00, but please help me generated
at least $50,000. The correctional surgery from all
those miscarriages, my back and treatment and therapy,
plus all my doctor bills already"

Maybe now's not the time to be bringing a child into this world methinks.

Kimmykim · 04-29-2003, 12:33 PM

Well, at least she didn't claim she was holding a few mil in Nigerian money that needed to be claimed.

lEricPl · 04-29-2003, 12:38 PM

Back Surgery + Miscarriages + Living with Mom = Ragged out Street Whore.

Been fucked one too many times me thinks...

Gary · 04-29-2003, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lEricPl
Back Surgery + Miscarriages + Living with Mom = Ragged out Street Whore.

Been fucked one too many times me thinks...

I would love to see what she would do with a 50K wire transfer. hehehe

FUCK BACK SURGERY, IM GETTING WASTED!!!!

SteveLightspeed · 04-29-2003, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim
Well, at least she didn't claim she was holding a few mil in Nigerian money that needed to be claimed.

You mean that Nigerian thing was a scam? Oh damn, NOW you tell me!!!

LS

Gary · 04-29-2003, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lightspeed

You mean that Nigerian thing was a scam? Oh damn, NOW you tell me!!!

LS

Dont feel bad, i fell for it 6 times. I thought i was really cleaning up. oh well

howard · 04-29-2003, 12:46 PM

Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

The father asked which site.

It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".

For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

Howard
www.adultplex.com

Tala · 04-29-2003, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by howard
Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

The father asked which site.

It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".

For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

Howard
www.adultplex.com

Gary · 04-29-2003, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by howard
Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

The father asked which site.

It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".

For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

Howard
www.adultplex.com

So, you guys outted his son? thats cold man.

howard · 04-29-2003, 12:54 PM

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by howard
Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

The father asked which site.

It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".

For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

Howard
www.adultplex.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, you guys outted his son? thats cold man.

************************************************

Gary--I'm just in sales. That was from customer service. Look--they were just being honest!!! It's not cold if its the truth...

04-29-2003, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by howard
I need a total of $834,750.00

he wants a ferrari enzo, I can BET on it

he has 200k, he needs 800k more,

detoxed · 04-29-2003, 01:16 PM

Tell the person to get a job. If he/she is able to type that message out to you on a computer, they are able to do half the jobs in this country.

MCsteve-matrix · 04-29-2003, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by howard
Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

The father asked which site.

It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".

For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

Howard
www.adultplex.com

at an old company i used to work for, that happened all the time. one of my friends went beyond the call of duty and informed a man's wife that he signed up at an incest site. i'm sure they were divorced shortly thereafter. another funny one was where the father of a underage son used his card at a site then proceed to beat him with the phone once he found out he used it.

Bryan Havoc · 04-29-2003, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MCsteve-matrix

another funny one was where the father of a underage son used his card at a site then proceed to beat him with the phone once he found out he used it.

I'd pay to hear that!

sherie · 04-29-2003, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Soul_Rebel
"I need a total of $834,750.00"

So do I, and that's just for shoes, shades and purses!!

howard · 04-29-2003, 01:57 PM

Matrix Man

at an old company i used to work for, that happened all the time. one of my friends went beyond the call of duty and informed a man's wife that he signed up at an incest site. i'm sure they were divorced shortly thereafter. another funny one was where the father of a underage son used his card at a site then proceed to beat him with the phone once he found out he used it.

***********************************************

That's fucken classic!!

Someone should start a cable show or a website:

Funniest Porn Customer Service Calls---

it could be the funniest show ever made!!!!!!!

howard
adultplex.com

Sarah_Jayne · 04-29-2003, 01:58 PM

okay, really stupid to use your dad's card to sign up for a gay porn site but I hope the kid didn't get hurt and or kicked out after he was outted.

Theo · 04-29-2003, 02:06 PM

lol sherie

Wizzo · 04-29-2003, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lightspeed

You mean that Nigerian thing was a scam? Oh damn, NOW you tell me!!!

LS

Yea, but thanks for the money....

howard · 04-29-2003, 02:10 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Soul_Rebel
"I need a total of $834,750.00"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So do I, and that's just for shoes, shades and purses!!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Hey Sherie,
Ok--I can understand the shoes and handbags but the shades!! My X used to explain that you dress up or down each outfit by shoes and belts? But Shades? No comprende!!!

You for got belts. I thought they can even cost more that the shoes!!!

Howard

www.adultplex.com

$37.50 per free 30 minute trial

MCsteve-matrix · 04-29-2003, 02:16 PM

Quote:

***********************************************

That's fucken classic!!

Someone should start a cable show or a website:

Funniest Porn Customer Service Calls---

it could be the funniest show ever made!!!!!!!

howard
adultplex.com

the best are when the husbands or sons are outted by a curious wife.

NastyJack · 04-29-2003, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by apx_bryan
Believe me, we're trying to help her out as best we can, but generating enough traffic as a total 100 percent newbie to make $50,000 by the end of the month...

Get her to model for you - I understand you guys can work magic with camaras!

If she's a dog work her behind.

pornguy · 04-29-2003, 02:40 PM

I love it when a woman sends an e-mail os something telling the girls in the site to stay away from her husband!!!

Like any of these models would look twice at someone who signed up!!!

Right??

lazycash · 04-29-2003, 05:21 PM

Why don't you reply to her and tell she needs to do a site like www.savekaryn.com and put her sob story on the main page and hope enough caring people stop by.

Bryan Havoc · 04-29-2003, 06:57 PM

I'm sure savekaryn made out pretty damn well!

Porn Mickey · 04-29-2003, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gary
So, dont be an ass, help the poor lady out.

I can help her

Dildozer · 04-29-2003, 11:41 PM

haha

Speaking os savekaryn.com, she replied to Business 2.0 in the latest issue about having a contract to write a book + a movie coming out! LOL

Damn why didn't i think of that first?

MrPanama · 04-30-2003, 12:14 AM

""Monday, April 28, 2003 - Today I came home from Minneapolis and wanted to chill out with a beer. So instead of going to a local bar and paying $5 for a bottle, my roommate and I bought two tall Bud cans from the corner store and kicked back outside in our backyard. The tall ones were only $1.50 - maybe $2. So I saved $3 at least!""

haha...this karyn girl sounds like shes a real smart cookie

Kimmykim · 04-30-2003, 12:34 AM

Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button.

Matt 26z · 04-30-2003, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by apx_bryan
but generating enough traffic as a total 100 percent newbie to make $50,000 by the end of the month... I'm not going to say impossible because as soon as I say something's impossible, somebody will prove me wrong, but it's highly unlikely.

$50k in 30 days starting from scratch? That is impossible.

On a $30 sponsor, you'd need about 55 signups a day. Even on a 1:250 signup ratio that's 13,750 sponsor hits per day. Then maybe a 0.005 banner clickthru rate, that comes out to 2,750,000 gallery hits needed daily.

No gallery maker in the world is pulling 55 signups daily, or even close to that.

Bake · 04-30-2003, 04:11 AM

Just a sugestion for her maybe she could try closeing her legs

stocktrader23 · 04-30-2003, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Matt 26z

$50k in 30 days starting from scratch? That is impossible.

On a $30 sponsor, you'd need about 55 signups a day. Even on a 1:250 signup ratio that's 13,750 sponsor hits per day. Then maybe a 0.005 banner clickthru rate, that comes out to 2,750,000 gallery hits needed daily.

No gallery maker in the world is pulling 55 signups daily, or even close to that.

I know one that pulls 150 signups a day.

Here's a hint.

howard · 04-30-2003, 07:44 AM

Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button.

**********************************************

KK--I need a how to post lesson. There is a quote button?
It took me a year to learn how to copy and paste?!!

howard

funkmaster · 04-30-2003, 07:55 AM

"Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button."

... yeah, damn it !

Interlude · 04-30-2003, 07:57 AM

Most of our funny emails are along the lines of "I don't have any money, can you send me pics anyway?"

04-29-2003, 12:11 PM	#1
howard Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: phila Posts: 1,827	Funniest email ever recieved by webmaster relations (I took the name out) Hello! My name is *** **. The user of this account and I need your help. I don't know a thing about making money on this website. I'm having a problem and I need to make at least $50,000 before the end of next month. I know you are probably saying that is alot of money. I am unable to work right now because of my back and I need some bills to be paid before June. I am asking you to please help me. I couldn't possibly generated those many sales. I have no money or job and I live with my mom for the time period. I need to have surgery on my back and my stomach. I have had a large amount of miscarriage last year and now it is difficult for me right now to live without any financial. I am not qualified for any government service such as welfare and the doctor says that I'm not qualified for disability because they can't tell whether it will be permanent. Please help me! I want to be able to have children and the stress that I have been under. It will be impossible. I need a total of $834,750.00, but please help me generated at least $50,000. The correctional surgery from all those miscarriages, my back and treatment and therapy, plus all my doctor bills already. My mother is slaving herself at her job and she has a problem with her back also. She went to the doctor this past Wednesday. I know that you don't know me but it is very important and I don't even know where to start to raise this kind of money. I am not qualified to receive a loan because I am not currently working and has no income whatsoever. Please help me! Thank you and have a blessed day! hahahahahahahaha= ***** www.adultplex.com $37.50 per free 30 minute trial __________________ perkissmedia.com [email protected] 318621803 perkymon993 Skype

04-29-2003, 12:13 PM	#2
Gary Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Kimmykims couch Posts: 6,110	So, dont be an ass, help the poor lady out. __________________ Up to 35$ per join...!

04-29-2003, 12:13 PM	#3
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

04-29-2003, 12:15 PM	#5
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	obviously you don't have much of an affiliate program if all your people think they can make is $50K a month..... __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

04-29-2003, 12:30 PM	#8
Bryan Havoc Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: New Jersey Posts: 784	Seems to me like she's looking for a handout. "I want to be able to have children and the stress that I have been under. It will be impossible. I need a total of $834,750.00, but please help me generated at least $50,000. The correctional surgery from all those miscarriages, my back and treatment and therapy, plus all my doctor bills already" Maybe now's not the time to be bringing a child into this world methinks. Last edited by apx_bryan; 04-29-2003 at 12:33 PM..

04-29-2003, 12:15 PM	#4
Reak So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: 420Calendar.com Posts: 17,920

04-29-2003, 12:18 PM	#6
Theo HAL 9000 Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 34,515	"I need a total of $834,750.00"

04-29-2003, 12:20 PM	#7
Bryan Havoc Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: New Jersey Posts: 784	Believe me, we're trying to help her out as best we can, but generating enough traffic as a total 100 percent newbie to make $50,000 by the end of the month... I'm not going to say impossible because as soon as I say something's impossible, somebody will prove me wrong, but it's highly unlikely.

04-29-2003, 12:33 PM	#9
Kimmykim bitchslapping zebras!!!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: In a shack by the beach Posts: 16,015	Well, at least she didn't claim she was holding a few mil in Nigerian money that needed to be claimed.

04-29-2003, 12:38 PM	#10
lEricPl Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: FL Posts: 1,062	Back Surgery + Miscarriages + Living with Mom = Ragged out Street Whore. Been fucked one too many times me thinks...

04-29-2003, 12:46 PM	#14
howard Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: phila Posts: 1,827	Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.' ( now I did not take the call but here is what happened) Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for. He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply. He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son. It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site. The father asked which site. It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com". For any dads out there--can you imagine that one??? Howard www.adultplex.com __________________ perkissmedia.com [email protected] 318621803 perkymon993 Skype

04-29-2003, 12:54 PM	#17
howard Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: phila Posts: 1,827	quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by howard Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.' ( now I did not take the call but here is what happened) Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for. He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply. He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son. It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site. The father asked which site. It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com". For any dads out there--can you imagine that one??? Howard www.adultplex.com -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, you guys outted his son? thats cold man. ************************************************ Gary--I'm just in sales. That was from customer service. Look--they were just being honest!!! It's not cold if its the truth... __________________ perkissmedia.com [email protected] 318621803 perkymon993 Skype

04-29-2003, 01:16 PM	#19
detoxed vip member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 17,798	Tell the person to get a job. If he/she is able to type that message out to you on a computer, they are able to do half the jobs in this country.

04-29-2003, 01:57 PM	#23
howard Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: phila Posts: 1,827	Matrix Man at an old company i used to work for, that happened all the time. one of my friends went beyond the call of duty and informed a man's wife that he signed up at an incest site. i'm sure they were divorced shortly thereafter. another funny one was where the father of a underage son used his card at a site then proceed to beat him with the phone once he found out he used it. *********************************************** That's fucken classic!! Someone should start a cable show or a website: Funniest Porn Customer Service Calls--- it could be the funniest show ever made!!!!!!! howard adultplex.com __________________ perkissmedia.com [email protected] 318621803 perkymon993 Skype

04-29-2003, 01:58 PM	#24
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	okay, really stupid to use your dad's card to sign up for a gay porn site but I hope the kid didn't get hurt and or kicked out after he was outted.

04-29-2003, 02:06 PM	#25
Theo HAL 9000 Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 34,515	lol sherie

04-29-2003, 02:10 PM	#27
howard Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: phila Posts: 1,827	-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Soul_Rebel "I need a total of $834,750.00" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So do I, and that's just for shoes, shades and purses!! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Hey Sherie, Ok--I can understand the shoes and handbags but the shades!! My X used to explain that you dress up or down each outfit by shoes and belts? But Shades? No comprende!!! You for got belts. I thought they can even cost more that the shoes!!! Howard www.adultplex.com $37.50 per free 30 minute trial __________________ perkissmedia.com [email protected] 318621803 perkymon993 Skype

04-29-2003, 02:40 PM	#30
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	I love it when a woman sends an e-mail os something telling the girls in the site to stay away from her husband!!! Like any of these models would look twice at someone who signed up!!! Right?? __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

04-29-2003, 05:21 PM	#31
lazycash Troll Patrol Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Local Socal Posts: 15,214	Why don't you reply to her and tell she needs to do a site like www.savekaryn.com and put her sob story on the main page and hope enough caring people stop by. __________________ "WTF, on google you can find the answer to every question in human history, EXCEPT how to convert cams.. Its crazy..." VenusBlogger

04-29-2003, 06:57 PM	#32
Bryan Havoc Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: New Jersey Posts: 784	I'm sure savekaryn made out pretty damn well!

04-29-2003, 11:41 PM	#34
Dildozer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 7,519	haha Speaking os savekaryn.com, she replied to Business 2.0 in the latest issue about having a contract to write a book + a movie coming out! LOL Damn why didn't i think of that first? __________________ Spam link here

04-30-2003, 12:14 AM	#35
MrPanama Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada Posts: 815	""Monday, April 28, 2003 - Today I came home from Minneapolis and wanted to chill out with a beer. So instead of going to a local bar and paying $5 for a bottle, my roommate and I bought two tall Bud cans from the corner store and kicked back outside in our backyard. The tall ones were only $1.50 - maybe $2. So I saved $3 at least!"" haha...this karyn girl sounds like shes a real smart cookie __________________ MrPanama SUBMIT GALLERIES HERE Email: [email protected] ICQ# 76099000

04-30-2003, 12:34 AM	#36
Kimmykim bitchslapping zebras!!!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: In a shack by the beach Posts: 16,015	Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button.

04-30-2003, 04:11 AM	#38
Bake Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Outback of bumfuck Aussie Posts: 5,273	Just a sugestion for her maybe she could try closeing her legs __________________ Buy great domains from drunken burned out old webmaster CHEAP bullseyeporn.com art-met.com and more. Learn how to make a easy extra $500 per week

04-30-2003, 07:44 AM	#40
howard Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: phila Posts: 1,827	Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button. ********************************************** KK--I need a how to post lesson. There is a quote button? It took me a year to learn how to copy and paste?!! howard __________________ perkissmedia.com [email protected] 318621803 perkymon993 Skype

04-30-2003, 07:55 AM	#41
funkmaster So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: shell beach Posts: 7,938	"Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button." ... yeah, damn it !

04-30-2003, 07:57 AM	#42
Interlude Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: State of Denial Posts: 1,147	Most of our funny emails are along the lines of "I don't have any money, can you send me pics anyway?"