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Funniest email ever recieved by webmaster relations
(I took the name out)
Hello! My name is ***** ******. The user of this account and I need your help. I don't know a thing about making money on this website. I'm having a problem and I need to make at least $50,000 before the end of next month. I know you are probably saying that is alot of money. I am unable to work right now because of my back and I need some bills to be paid before June. I am asking you to please help me. I couldn't possibly generated those many sales. I have no money or job and I live with my mom for the time period. I need to have surgery on my back and my stomach. I have had a large amount of miscarriage last year and now it is difficult for me right now to live without any financial. I am not qualified for any government service such as welfare and the doctor says that I'm not qualified for disability because they can't tell whether it will be permanent. Please help me! I want to be able to have children and the stress that I have been under. It will be impossible. I need a total of $834,750.00, but please help me generated at least $50,000. The correctional surgery from all those miscarriages, my back and treatment and therapy, plus all my doctor bills already. My mother is slaving herself at her job and she has a problem with her back also. She went to the doctor this past Wednesday. I know that you don't know me but it is very important and I don't even know where to start to raise this kind of money. I am not qualified to receive a loan because I am not currently working and has no income whatsoever. Please help me! Thank you and have a blessed day! hahahahahahahaha= ******* www.adultplex.com $37.50 per free 30 minute trial |
So, dont be an ass, help the poor lady out.
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:eek7
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:Hollering
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obviously you don't have much of an affiliate program if all your people think they can make is $50K a month.....
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"I need a total of $834,750.00"
:glugglug |
Believe me, we're trying to help her out as best we can, but generating enough traffic as a total 100 percent newbie to make $50,000 by the end of the month... I'm not going to say impossible because as soon as I say something's impossible, somebody will prove me wrong, but it's highly unlikely.
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Seems to me like she's looking for a handout.
"I want to be able to have children and the stress that I have been under. It will be impossible. I need a total of $834,750.00, but please help me generated at least $50,000. The correctional surgery from all those miscarriages, my back and treatment and therapy, plus all my doctor bills already" Maybe now's not the time to be bringing a child into this world methinks. |
Well, at least she didn't claim she was holding a few mil in Nigerian money that needed to be claimed.
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Back Surgery + Miscarriages + Living with Mom = Ragged out Street Whore.
Been fucked one too many times me thinks... |
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FUCK BACK SURGERY, IM GETTING WASTED!!!! |
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LS |
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Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'
( now I did not take the call but here is what happened) Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for. He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply. He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son. It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site. The father asked which site. It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com". For any dads out there--can you imagine that one??? Howard www.adultplex.com |
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by howard Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.' ( now I did not take the call but here is what happened) Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for. He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply. He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son. It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site. The father asked which site. It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com". For any dads out there--can you imagine that one??? Howard www.adultplex.com -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, you guys outted his son? thats cold man. ************************************************ Gary--I'm just in sales. That was from customer service. Look--they were just being honest!!! It's not cold if its the truth... |
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he has 200k, he needs 800k more, :thumbsup |
Tell the person to get a job. If he/she is able to type that message out to you on a computer, they are able to do half the jobs in this country.
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Matrix Man
at an old company i used to work for, that happened all the time. one of my friends went beyond the call of duty and informed a man's wife that he signed up at an incest site. i'm sure they were divorced shortly thereafter. another funny one was where the father of a underage son used his card at a site then proceed to beat him with the phone once he found out he used it. *********************************************** That's fucken classic!! Someone should start a cable show or a website: Funniest Porn Customer Service Calls--- it could be the funniest show ever made!!!!!!! howard adultplex.com |
okay, really stupid to use your dad's card to sign up for a gay porn site but I hope the kid didn't get hurt and or kicked out after he was outted.
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lol sherie
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Originally posted by Soul_Rebel "I need a total of $834,750.00" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So do I, and that's just for shoes, shades and purses!! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Hey Sherie, Ok--I can understand the shoes and handbags but the shades!! My X used to explain that you dress up or down each outfit by shoes and belts? But Shades? No comprende!!! You for got belts. I thought they can even cost more that the shoes!!! Howard www.adultplex.com $37.50 per free 30 minute trial |
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If she's a dog work her behind. |
I love it when a woman sends an e-mail os something telling the girls in the site to stay away from her husband!!!
Like any of these models would look twice at someone who signed up!!! Right?? |
Why don't you reply to her and tell she needs to do a site like www.savekaryn.com and put her sob story on the main page and hope enough caring people stop by.
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I'm sure savekaryn made out pretty damn well!
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haha
Speaking os savekaryn.com, she replied to Business 2.0 in the latest issue about having a contract to write a book + a movie coming out! LOL Damn why didn't i think of that first? :waaaaahh |
""Monday, April 28, 2003 - Today I came home from Minneapolis and wanted to chill out with a beer. So instead of going to a local bar and paying $5 for a bottle, my roommate and I bought two tall Bud cans from the corner store and kicked back outside in our backyard. The tall ones were only $1.50 - maybe $2. So I saved $3 at least!""
haha...this karyn girl sounds like shes a real smart cookie:ugone2far |
Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button.
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On a $30 sponsor, you'd need about 55 signups a day. Even on a 1:250 signup ratio that's 13,750 sponsor hits per day. Then maybe a 0.005 banner clickthru rate, that comes out to 2,750,000 gallery hits needed daily. No gallery maker in the world is pulling 55 signups daily, or even close to that. |
Just a sugestion for her maybe she could try closeing her legs
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Here's a hint. :glugglug |
Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button.
********************************************** KK--I need a how to post lesson. There is a quote button? It took me a year to learn how to copy and paste?!! howard |
"Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button."
... yeah, damn it ! |
Most of our funny emails are along the lines of "I don't have any money, can you send me pics anyway?"
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