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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 8,743
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best SNL skit ever
BRIAN:
Hey mom, dad... DAD: Brian, Stacey, your mother, Ellen & I are so glad you decided to join us for this family communication session. STACEY: So, what's up, you guys getting divorced or something? MOM: No, we just wanted the family to talk as a group. BRIAN: OK, well, let's get it started then. MOM: Alright well, Stacey, Brian, your father, Ted & I are a little bit concerned. Celia, the cleaning lady was in the family room & she found a bag of pot. STACEY: She didn't smoke it, did she? MOM: Noowe. She didn't smoke it. DAD: Now, we're not here to "come down" on you. I mean that's not what we're about, OK. MOM: We're just concerned that pot can lead to other things. DAD: Crack, ice, boom, pow. MOM: But we know you don't want to here this from us. DAD: Sure I mean we're your parents. Who wants to hear this stuff from there parents, huh? MOM: Your father & I came up with a brilliant idea to give you kids some direction. A motivational speaker. DAD: Yeah, one of those guys who speaks to big groups, at high schools & churches. STACEY: You mean, to come to the house. MOM: Uh-huh. [SIMULTANEOUSLY] BRIAN: Yeah, right, thanks anyway. STACEY: Yeah, alright, later. Bye. DAD: Hey hey hey c'mon you guys, this set me back a few bucks. OK, his name is Matt Foley. Now he's been down in the basement drinking coffee for about the last four hours &, he should be all ready to go. I'll, I'll call him up. "Matt, we're ready for ya'!" His speech is called "Go For It!" Now he's used to big groups so make him feel like there's a crowd here. "Matt, come on up buddy!" [MATT COMES UP] MATT: Alrighty, how's everybody. Goood, goood, goood... Now as your father probably told you, my name is Matt Foley, & I am a motivational speaker. Now let's get started by letting me give you a little bit of a scenario of what MY LIFE is all about. First off, I am 35 years old, I AM divorced, & I live in a van, down by the river. {POINTS TOWARDS DOOR EVERY TIME HE SAYS "VAN-RIVER" LINE] Now you kids are probably saying to yourselves "Hey, I'm gon'na go out & I'm gon'na, GET THE WORLD BY THE TAIL, & WRAP IT AROUND & PULL IT DOWN & PUT IT IN MY POCKET!" Well I'm here to tell you that your not going to amount to JACK-SQUAT! You're going to end up eating a steady diet of government cheese & living in a van down by the river. Now young man what do you wan'na do with your life? BRIAN: Uh, actually Matt, I kind'a wan'na be a writer. MATT: WEEEELL! LAH-DY FRICKIN' DAH!!! We got ourselves a writer here. {TO DAD} Hey dad, I can't see real good, is that Bill Shakespeare over there, eh..? DAD: Well actually Matt, Ellen & I have encouraged Brian & his writing. MATT: Dad I wish you could just shut your big YAPPER!!! Now I wonder, Brian, from what I've heard, your using your paper not for writin, but for ROLLIN' DUBIES! Your gon'na be doing a lot of dubie rolling, when your living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!! Young lady, what do you want to do with your life? STACEY: I wan'na live in a van down by the river. MOM: Well you'll have plenty of time living in a van down by the river, when,... your living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! Now you kids are probably asking yourselves "Hey Matt, {MOVES ARMS IN JOGGING MOTION} how can we get back on the right track?!" Well as I see it there is only one solution, & that is for me to get my gear, move it on in here, 'cause I"m gon'na bunk with you buddy, WE'RE GON'NA BE BUDDIES, WE'RE GON'NA BE PALS! WE'RE GON'NA WRASTLE AROUND! [PICKS UP BRIAN] Old Matt's gon'na be your shadow! Here's you, here's Matt! There's you, there...{FALLS OVER ON COFFEE TABLE & DESTROYS IT} Whoops a daisy, whoops a daisy. By God we're gon'na have to clean that up later. Me & MY BUDDIES, MY PALS, MY AMIGOS!!! I'm gon'na get my gear. BRIAN: Wait, yeah, Matt you don't have to go. Matt Matt! STACEY: No, you don't have to do that, we'll never smoke pot again! DAD: Uh, Matt, uh, thanks for all you've done. MATT: I don't give a rat's behind 'cause I'm moving in, I'm sick & tired of living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! [MATT WALKS OUT. DAD CLOSES & LOCKS DOOR BEHIND HIM] DAD: Is the back door locked? MOM: Yes. STACEY: We love you dad. DAD: I love you too. [FAMILY HUDDLES TOGETHER IN FEAR] BRIAN played by David Spade STACEY played by Christina Applegate TED played by Phil Hartman ELLEN played by Julia Sweeney & MATT FOLEY played by CHRISTOPHER FARLEY SOURCE: Saturday Night Live, NBC
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#2 |
we'll miss you our friend. RIP
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Fernie, BC
Posts: 25,115
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a true classic
the best: BRIAN: Uh, actually Matt, I kind'a wan'na be a writer. MATT: WEEEELL! LAH-DY FRICKIN' DAH!!! We got ourselves a writer here. {TO DAD} Hey dad, I can't see real good, is that Bill Shakespeare over there, eh..? DAD: Well actually Matt, Ellen & I have encouraged Brian & his writing. MATT: Dad I wish you could just shut your big YAPPER!!! |
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#3 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,642
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Wow, thats the skit that came to mind when I clicked on this thread.
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#4 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: on the internet
Posts: 3,783
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Quote:
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3" border="1" bgcolor="#008000"><tr><td><font size=3>Gone</font></td></tr></table> |
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#5 |
Now with more Jayne
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 40,077
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my dad still qoutes that skit. That and 'you put your weed in it'. Guess he paid attention to the show when I watched it back then.
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#6 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 34,431
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Matt Foley was great but i think the hardest I ever laughed at SNL was Phil Hartman as the Marine drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket, any episode of Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer and Belushi as The Hulk at a swank Manhattan penthouse cocktail party attended by all the superstar comicbook superheroes. Belushi as Hulk has to use the bathroom, a few minutes pass and he opens the door and the stank of a Hulk bowel movement hits the room, everybody is disgusted by him - priceless Belushi take, the trademark raised eyebrow made famous in Animal House.
SCTV destroys SNL.
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I moved my sites to Vacares Hosting. I've saved money, my hair is thicker, lost some weight too! Thanks Sly!
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#7 |
Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг
Posts: 10,945
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Phil Hartman was indeed genius. He was just as funny in that show, Talk Radio.
The one that makes me laugh the hardest is the Collette Reardon ones. ![]() Will Farrel has too many great routines to even mention. his George Bush was fantastic. |
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#8 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Magrathea
Posts: 6,493
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Sheesh, this is what we come up with as the best Saturday Night Live skit? I liked Chris Farley, but I always thought the motivational speaker gig was only so-so. I can think of dozens of MUCH funnier Saturday Night Live routines.
It's all a matter of opinion, I guess. SpaceAce |
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#9 | |
we'll miss you our friend. RIP
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Fernie, BC
Posts: 25,115
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Quote:
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#10 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Seat 1A
Posts: 2,483
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It's not as good as:
Samurai Delicatessen Ladies Man with Cameron Diaz Coffee Talk with Roseanne, Barbara, and Madonna Wayne's World with Wayne Gretzky Andy Kaufman - Here I Come To Save The Day! King Tut Or my favorite "Sebastian Bach, Slash, and Rachel Bolan sing nursery rhymes" Dog Show, Brian Fellow's Safari Planet, and Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley are the worst. |
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#11 |
Drunk and Unruly
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 22,712
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"Knock Knock"
Who is it? "Land Shark" ![]()
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I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade... Webair, bitches. |
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#12 | |
March 1st, 2003
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Seat 4 @ Venetian Poker Room
Posts: 20,295
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Quote:
Yeah...that's why it's still on the air ![]() Now don't get me wrong...I loved SCTV...and it had some great moments but it destroying SNL...only when compared to the years with people like Brad Hall, Julia Louise Dreyfuss, Anthony Michael Hall, Robert Downey Jr. |
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#13 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 317
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what would we do with out SNL
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![]() Fast, Reliable and Great Prices http://www.xxxhostit.com ICQ: 777427 MSN: [email protected] |
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#14 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: virtual reality
Posts: 1,013
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How about Jim Carey in the hot tub? Classic!
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Get the VirtualFX 2D to 3D TV Converter or 3D Glasses for your PC. Great affiliate and resale programs available. http://www.realistixxx.com/ |
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#15 |
RIP Dodger. BEST.CAT.EVER
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: NYC Area
Posts: 18,450
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two words: Bathroom Monkey.
Most of their fake commercials are the best. Like the cereal that now has ecstacy. Will ferrell starts going out to raves and wears the big stupid 'cat in the hat' hat.
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#16 |
aka K-Man
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: The Gutter
Posts: 29,292
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Eddie Murphy - I Wanna Be a Ho by Velvet Jones
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Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor |
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#17 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 193
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"Mercury Mistress"
Starring: Horatio Sanz (one of the good one from the newer cast) Too many great skits to even name... SNL is the best. |
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#18 | |
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 48
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Quote:
GRIMM |
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#19 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 7,020
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Quote:
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AIM sherierocks ICQ 127-296-286 Skype traffichor |
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#20 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 752
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Quote:
CLASSIC! ![]() |
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#21 |
Beer Money Baron
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: brujah / gmail
Posts: 22,157
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I want some GOVERNMENTTTT CHEEEEEESE!
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#22 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: CT
Posts: 5,246
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Great memories
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#23 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 8,743
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the roxbury guys were funny too
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#24 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,382
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Farley ruled all ... Rest in Peace, and thanks for the laughs.
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#25 | |
See sig. Join Epic Cash.
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Montreal, Quebec. ICQ: 214702014
Posts: 22,366
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Quote:
And the first two Brian Fellows' Safari Planet skits also.
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#26 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: San Fernando Valley
Posts: 341
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who remembers
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#27 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: San Fernando Valley
Posts: 341
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Quote:
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MC Steve Matrix Content - Contact me for special discounts! ICQ: 172308203 Matrix Dollars |
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#28 | |
See sig. Join Epic Cash.
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Montreal, Quebec. ICQ: 214702014
Posts: 22,366
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Quote:
"I've taken your speed pills, and I'm wearing your vibrating heat beads. And by riding your snake, not only have I shed 65 lbs in 4 days... but guess what? I found out I'm the devil!"
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#29 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: San Fernando Valley
Posts: 341
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Quote:
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MC Steve Matrix Content - Contact me for special discounts! ICQ: 172308203 Matrix Dollars |
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#30 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Seat 1A
Posts: 2,483
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Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
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#31 |
Jesus loves bacon
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Sin City, Motherfucker
Posts: 19,969
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I loved the sketch where Will Ferrell plays the doctor who accidently loses the couples' baby...it was one of the most bizarre sketches too...almost like it was an impromptu sketch thrown in at the last minute with the aim of Ferrell trying to crack the others up...
Will Ferrell had some of the funniest moments ever...when he found out his teen daughter was on one of those Girls Gone Wild tapes....the guy who sings campy versions of modern songs with his wife.....and of course as GW....
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#32 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 114
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![]() If you have not seen the 25th anaversary eddition...I highly reccommend it.
F***in Brilliant I'd have to go with rubba dub in the hot tub...Eddie...and how to be a well paid Ho...without leaving the comfort of yo own home. ![]() ![]() ![]()
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#33 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,642
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Anyone see it live in NYC?
Wonder how hard a ticket to get? |
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#34 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 8,743
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Quote:
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