Just the "tip" for Ivanka - GoFuckYourself.com

2MuchMark · 07-04-2016, 07:19 AM

LOL!

Trump Says He Would Not "Bang" Daughter, Just "Give Her the Tip"

Quote:

Following claims that he wants to aggressively copulate with his daughter, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said he would only slightly penetrate her if he weren’t her father.

Trump insists he would insert no more than the head of his penis into Ivanka Trump, as opposed to vigorously thrusting his entire manhood over and over again until he climaxes, if she weren’t his offspring.

The GOP frontrunner’s remarks came in response to assertions Trump wants to furiously hump his 34-year-old daughter. Those assertions are based, in part, on a 2006 appearance with Ivanka on The View in which he said, “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

Americans were reminded by a recent Rolling Stone interview about the possibility of Trump having a romantic relationship with his child, a former model. The real estate mogul ostensibly joked, “Yeah, she’s really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father…”

This led to The Daily Show airing a segment titled “Don’t Forget: Donald Trump Wants to Bang His Daughter.” In the piece, host Trevor Noah recalls all the times Trump has publicly talked about how fuckable Ivanka is, including the time in 2003 when he bragged on the Howard Stern Show about his daughter’s smoking-hot body.

Trump says some people have mischaracterized his remarks about Ivanka by claiming he wants to “bang” her, maintaining he would be much more gentle in bed with his daughter if he didn’t have a parental relationship with her.

“As many, many, many women already know, I have a yuuuuuge penis,” Trump explained. “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, and we were dating — which we probably would be, because … just look at her: what a body — I would give her just the tip, and that would be more than enough to satisfy her. I guarantee it.”

The billionaire businessman added that he typically doesn’t “bang” women anyway, insisting he’s too much of a refined sex partner to engage in basal, animalistic coitus, especially with his daughter.

“Everyone knows I’m a classy guy, so I keep it classy, even in the bedroom,” Trump added. “This means, if Ivanka and I were to have sex, there’d be lots and lots and lots of foreplay to get her nice and wet — many, many, many women will tell you I’m the best lover they ever had, by far — and I’d give her the most fantastic, mind-blowing orgasm she’s ever had. But, of course, I won’t, because, you know, she’s my daughter.”

LatinaCamChat · 07-04-2016, 11:22 AM

Hilarious, thought it was TheOnion when reading it. Political satire at its finest. This should be one of the only political based posts on this forum, instead, besides brassniglet death news, DVTimes and his psychopathic molester like appearance spam, and tons of political bullshit by homeless people, rochard/retard, senile markham and everyone else

mineistaken · 07-04-2016, 11:40 AM

Liberal twisting at its best. Covered as "satire"...

Relic · 07-04-2016, 11:41 AM

Grasp away

Hannes · 07-04-2016, 12:28 PM

incest at its best

CaptainHowdy · 07-04-2016, 12:41 PM

Ahahahahahahahahaha!!

pimpmaster9000 · 07-04-2016, 04:47 PM

that hillary campaign money is working hard....

Spunky · 07-04-2016, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crucifissio

that hillary campaign money is working hard....

Still nobody wants to put their tip into her

Relic · 07-04-2016, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

Still nobody wants to put their tip into her

Guaranteed to pull back a stump

seeandsee · 07-05-2016, 02:41 AM

I would bang her too

Jigster715 · 07-05-2016, 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

Still nobody wants to put their tip into her

Thanks for that mental image. I just threw up a little.

nico-t · 07-05-2016, 04:32 AM

The moment where it got confirmed for me the daily show was an appalling show. Constantly "joking" about incest, but not with humor... You should see the hatred and bitterness when puppet Noah is making one of these "jokes". The way he delivers them doesn't make them jokes anymore, it makes them simplistic, tasteless insults. It's really this bad.

Just picture his fake serious face whenever he makes a serious remark about whatever subject they do... i think he really believes he has to teach the viewer his dumb, brainwashed point of view.

Another thing about the incest jokes: Selective joking. Will he ever make this same type of joke about Obama, with this level of insult?

"Obama wants to fuck his daughter."
Wow, what a funny joke.

He never will. And that alone exposes the agenda of the Daily Show painfully.

I and everyone i know is funnier than Noah. The guy is not a comedian.

2MuchMark · 07-05-2016, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

The moment where it got confirmed for me the daily show was an appalling show. Constantly "joking" about incest, but not with humor... You should see the hatred and bitterness when puppet Noah is making one of these "jokes". The way he delivers them doesn't make them jokes anymore, it makes them simplistic, tasteless insults. It's really this bad.

Just picture his fake serious face whenever he makes a serious remark about whatever subject they do... i think he really believes he has to teach the viewer his dumb, brainwashed point of view.

Another thing about the incest jokes: Selective joking. Will he ever make this same type of joke about Obama, with this level of insult?

"Obama wants to fuck his daughter."
Wow, what a funny joke.

He never will. And that alone exposes the agenda of the Daily Show painfully.

I and everyone i know is funnier than Noah. The guy is not a comedian.

A joke is funny when it has elements of truth to it. The "Trump wants to bang his daughter" trope is funny and stays around because of Trumps uncomfortable comments about his daughter. It also helps that his daughter is fucking hot and everyone would want to hit that.

Obama has never said anything gross, creepy or remotely inappropriate about his daughters. So a joke about it just wouldn't be funny.

Trevor Noah is funny. Like you, I prefer Jon Stewart as the host of The Daily Show any day, but Noah isn't that bad. I don't watch the show as often as I watched the show when hosted by Stewart.

If you want a good replacement, try This Week Tonight with John Oliver, or Full Frontal with Sandra Bee. Both extremely funny, and both in a better format than The Daily Show.

nico-t · 07-05-2016, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by **********

A joke is funny when it has elements of truth to it. The "Trump wants to bang his daughter" trope is funny and stays around because of Trumps uncomfortable comments about his daughter. It also helps that his daughter is fucking hot and everyone would want to hit that.

Obama has never said anything gross, creepy or remotely inappropriate about his daughters. So a joke about it just wouldn't be funny.

Trevor Noah is funny. Like you, I prefer Jon Stewart as the host of The Daily Show any day, but Noah isn't that bad. I don't watch the show as often as I watched the show when hosted by Stewart.

If you want a good replacement, try This Week Tonight with John Oliver, or Full Frontal with Sandra Bee. Both extremely funny, and both in a better format than The Daily Show.

Firstly; with the Obama comparison i meant a joke on that same level. For example: Let's say Obama is on a picture with his dad, when Obama bends over to tie his shoe making it look like fellatio with his father.
Noah would NEVER make a joke grabbing a situation like that and saying "Obama likes to suck his dads cock." He would never say something like that about Obama, never. Because the shows' agenda is not pushing that, they treat Obama constantly with respect, while blatantly hating and insulting Trump that he fucks his daughter. If it's really comedy, then treat everyone the same. Not happening.

And those other shows - i've seen both. It's the same one sided agenda they push, labeled as comedy. Brexit? Bad, fact that EU is as democratic as North Korea gets ignored and completely twisted for brainwash purposes. Trump? Bad. Obama? Good.
Oh, and gender neutral toilets, comedy gold on its own already, and THE proof that our society has completely lost it, and ... It's supported by Noah (his bosses). With his serious smug face pleading for this completely ridiculous non-issue. And that's the host of a comedy show.

It's pure propaganda, and the "comedy" is just an excuse to push it to an audience who really believe it is 'just comedy'. This disarms them, and opens their mind up to absorb the propaganda, more than debates or news shows. It's a brilliant, but very, very dirty technique and I am surprised it still isn't as obvious to so many people. I noticed it instantly, the moment i saw it.

Real comedy has no agenda. Norm McDonalds podcasts on youtube, now THAT is comedy. No dirty, underhand political agendas, just dry, crazy and funny jokes. Hilarious. Or the funniest comedy tv show in my opinion, Seinfeld: Also no agenda other than just being funny.

07-04-2016, 12:28 PM	#5
Hannes Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2016 Posts: 1,594	incest at its best __________________ Skype: gallag97 Email: [U]comingsoon/U]

07-04-2016, 12:41 PM	#6
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,664	Ahahahahahahahahaha!! __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc.

07-04-2016, 04:47 PM	#7
pimpmaster9000 Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 26,732	that hillary campaign money is working hard.... __________________ Report a suspicious cracker: Click Here

07-05-2016, 02:41 AM	#10
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	I would bang her too __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

07-04-2016, 11:22 AM	#2
LatinaCamChat Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2015 Posts: 571	Hilarious, thought it was TheOnion when reading it. Political satire at its finest. This should be one of the only political based posts on this forum, instead, besides brassniglet death news, DVTimes and his psychopathic molester like appearance spam, and tons of political bullshit by homeless people, rochard/retard, senile markham and everyone else

07-04-2016, 11:40 AM	#3
mineistaken See signature :) Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: ICQ 363 097 773 Posts: 29,656	Liberal twisting at its best. Covered as "satire"...

07-04-2016, 11:41 AM	#4
Relic So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 10,300	Grasp away

07-05-2016, 04:32 AM	#12
nico-t emperor of my world Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: nethalands Posts: 29,903	The moment where it got confirmed for me the daily show was an appalling show. Constantly "joking" about incest, but not with humor... You should see the hatred and bitterness when puppet Noah is making one of these "jokes". The way he delivers them doesn't make them jokes anymore, it makes them simplistic, tasteless insults. It's really this bad. Just picture his fake serious face whenever he makes a serious remark about whatever subject they do... i think he really believes he has to teach the viewer his dumb, brainwashed point of view. Another thing about the incest jokes: Selective joking. Will he ever make this same type of joke about Obama, with this level of insult? "Obama wants to fuck his daughter." Wow, what a funny joke. He never will. And that alone exposes the agenda of the Daily Show painfully. I and everyone i know is funnier than Noah. The guy is not a comedian.