At the end of another busy week, I had a thought about being friendly to people around me. - GoFuckYourself.com

sperbonzo · 02-19-2016, 09:16 AM

Thinking about being nice, and friendly, to those around me.

I was running around this morning, taking care of errands. The bank, the post office, the supermarket, car mechanic, mailbox service, diner, etc... I realized that I have people who I am genuinely happy to see, and who are happy to see me, almost everywhere around me. I was thinking about how nice it is to live this way, and what a positive difference it makes to my day to day life.

This situation didn't just happen because I have lived in the area for a while. I watch plenty of people, who I recognize as being from the area also, who don't have the same kinds of interactions at these places. This situation happens because I choose to actively be friendly to people, at every establishment that I interact with regularly. Not just pleasant and polite, that's simply being a civilized person, but actively engaging them on a personal level, starting from just taking note of their name tag, and using their name, to complimenting them on something, or even sharing a random joke; and over time growing the relationship from there, to the point where we are talking about our respective families, and notable recent events in our lives.

It's not difficult to do, it only adds a few seconds to your interactions, it doesn't cost you anything, and it gets even easier and more fun as time goes on and you get to know those people a little bit better, and you each start to share more of your lives with each other.

Sure, we are all busy, and under a time-crunch, but some of the biggest joys of being alive, and going through this struggle called "life" in the first place, is the interactions between ourselves and the people around us.

Even from the most pragmatic perspective, there are so many benefits from this behavior. People want to be helpful to people who they know, and like, more than people who they do not know. They are more likely to go the extra mile, or give a better break, for those who they know and like. That's a natural fact of the human experience.

And when you are having a bad day, (and we all do sometimes), and you are sick, or unfriendly, or unhappy,or lonely, it becomes a network of people around you who notice that you aren't your usual self, and offer support. Even if that support is only noticing your distress, and perhaps some concern and sympathy, that can make a huge difference to your outlook on the world, and on your situation.

Sometimes these interactions have lead all the way to active friendships, outside of the business interaction, and all of the benefits which having more good acquaintances and friends brings to one's life.

In short, being actively friendly, rather than just simply polite, to those with whom you interact often, is a very easy way to, not just brighten up their life, but also your own life, and in the end, it's what living in a community, any community, is all about for me.

Enjoy your weekends,
(and shabbat shalom to whom it may apply.

)

.

ITraffic · 02-19-2016, 09:28 AM

yes if you have a genuine interest in other people and their lives no matter who they are it actually makes a community a community.

many people are too self-obsessed and trapped in some narcissistic hell realm however.

sperbonzo · 02-19-2016, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ITraffic

yes if you have a genuine interest in other people and their lives no matter who they are it actually makes a community a community.

many people are too self-obsessed and trapped in some narcissistic hell realm however.

Sadly, that does seem to be the case sometimes, but I suspect that it's not as often as we might think. It's always been great for me to see how quickly people, who appear to be so insular on the outside, will open up, once engaged.

.

Rochard · 02-19-2016, 10:01 AM

I am a very upbeat person and don't have "bad days". I have a beautiful house, four cars i the driveway, a beautiful wife, and a kid that is nearly perfect.

I am nice to everyone. I greet cashiers by name, hold the door open for strangers, every day.

sperbonzo · 02-19-2016, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rochard

I am a very upbeat person and don't have "bad days". I have a beautiful house, four cars i the driveway, a beautiful wife, and a kid that is nearly perfect.

I am nice to everyone. I greet cashiers by name, hold the door open for strangers, every day.

It's pretty rare for me to have a bad day... Ditto on wonderful wife and nearly perfect kid, the only difference being a large boat instead of the 4 cars..., Once in a while, I do allow myself to get stressed and preoccupied with various business-related issues, but it's relatively rare.

.

bronco67 · 02-19-2016, 10:29 AM

making an effort to act happy starts to manifest itself as reality eventually.

JFK · 02-19-2016, 10:59 AM

Whats this being Nice shit ?

Mickey_ · 02-19-2016, 11:02 AM

sperbonzo · 02-19-2016, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JFK

Whats this being Nice shit ?

....and let me just say, sir, that you have the BEST avatar in the long and storied history of this forum...

.

ilnjscb · 02-19-2016, 11:21 AM

I have bad days all the time, and I have and have had plenty of success .... I'm nice to people whenever I can be. I'm sure there is some sort of positivity premium on assured success, that is, success not based on luck, but on concrete sustainable achievement, but I'm not sure it cures anxiety or stress behaviors automatically.

Further, I find that certain kinds of people tend to brag the most right before they break down.

When I think about my mindset rationally, which is rare, I always find something "wrong" among all the right things, and react negatively to that. Shit I can even work up to be upset that I'll never travel the stars!

dyna mo · 02-19-2016, 11:34 AM

i'm usually the guy on line behind you waiting for the chitty chat with the cashier to wrap up. ;

Mr Pheer · 02-19-2016, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sperbonzo

It's pretty rare for me to have a bad day... Ditto on wonderful wife and nearly perfect kid, the only difference being a large boat instead of the 4 cars..., Once in a while, I do allow myself to get stressed and preoccupied with various business-related issues, but it's relatively rare.

.

If I had a large boat and lived by the ocean... I'd be on that boat at least 2 days a week minimum. I'd also live on a diet of mostly fresh fish

sperbonzo · 02-19-2016, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Pheer

If I had a large boat and lived by the ocean... I'd be on that boat at least 2 days a week minimum. I'd also live on a diet of mostly fresh fish

unfortunately, it's not that kind of boat. Fishing on it would get blood and scales all over the seats and carpet, and it would stink up the bilges. It's more built for boozing and cruising, but I do have neighbors who have fishing boats, and I get out with them when I can.

.

sperbonzo · 02-19-2016, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilnjscb

I have bad days all the time, and I have and have had plenty of success .... I'm nice to people whenever I can be. I'm sure there is some sort of positivity premium on assured success, that is, success not based on luck, but on concrete sustainable achievement, but I'm not sure it cures anxiety or stress behaviors automatically.

Further, I find that certain kinds of people tend to brag the most right before they break down.

When I think about my mindset rationally, which is rare, I always find something "wrong" among all the right things, and react negatively to that. Shit I can even work up to be upset that I'll never travel the stars!

Having "stuff" doesn't create my contentment even 1/10th as much, as my wife and son, and family and friends and the people around me do....

And although I do enjoy business, I run a business to live, I don't live to run a business....

.

SAMANTAmax · 02-19-2016, 11:54 AM

Yea making ppl happy is equally how happy peson you are

blogspot · 02-19-2016, 03:27 PM

Hello Friend!

Sednub997 · 02-20-2016, 02:17 AM

The best feeling when you have did something good for the ppl you care

ilnjscb · 02-20-2016, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sperbonzo

Having "stuff" doesn't create my contentment even 1/10th as much, as my wife and son, and family and friends and the people around me do....

And although I do enjoy business, I run a business to live, I don't live to run a business....

.

Totally - If I'm blessed with those things I'm sure it will even me out

just having a business seems like all you do is collect sometimes, and you're never more than a few months away from the poorhouse.

sperbonzo · 02-21-2016, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilnjscb

Totally - If I'm blessed with those things I'm sure it will even me out

just having a business seems like all you do is collect sometimes, and you're never more than a few months away from the poorhouse.

It's definitely more of a roller coaster ride than working for someone else. The only thing that has saved me through the lean years is to always try to live your life at lower level than your income, so that not only do you have savings, but also you don't have to pare back as much during the dry spells...

.

Nicholas FirstMobileCash · 02-22-2016, 09:27 AM

Nice, positive thread! Being polite and friendly seems natural to me, sometimes it's strange at how some people can be so rude or off-putting to a stranger for no reason.

Sometimes I wonder if rude people go home and feel bad for how they treated others... but then I remember that what i perceive as rude or cold is not necessarily so in other cultures. Coming from Canada, it's definitely more challenging to get through to strangers in other parts of the world. Makes my trips back to north America (US included) that much more exciting... I'm always looking forward to the friendliness. Especially with service staff in stores or restaurants.

sperbonzo · 02-22-2016, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicholas FirstMobileCash

Nice, positive thread! Being polite and friendly seems natural to me, sometimes it's strange at how some people can be so rude or off-putting to a stranger for no reason.

Sometimes I wonder if rude people go home and feel bad for how they treated others... but then I remember that what i perceive as rude or cold is not necessarily so in other cultures. Coming from Canada, it's definitely more challenging to get through to strangers in other parts of the world. Makes my trips back to north America (US included) that much more exciting... I'm always looking forward to the friendliness. Especially with service staff in stores or restaurants.

Yeah, the contrast between the friendliness of north Americans compared with Europeans is pretty big. I have friends from Germany and France who have moved here and thought it was bizarre how people would great them in such a friendly way, even unknown neighbors in the elevators of their buildings, etc... They got used to it, after a while, and now they love it.

.

02-19-2016, 09:16 AM	#1
sperbonzo I'd rather be on my boat. Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 9,748	At the end of another busy week, I had a thought about being friendly to people around me. Thinking about being nice, and friendly, to those around me. I was running around this morning, taking care of errands. The bank, the post office, the supermarket, car mechanic, mailbox service, diner, etc... I realized that I have people who I am genuinely happy to see, and who are happy to see me, almost everywhere around me. I was thinking about how nice it is to live this way, and what a positive difference it makes to my day to day life. This situation didn't just happen because I have lived in the area for a while. I watch plenty of people, who I recognize as being from the area also, who don't have the same kinds of interactions at these places. This situation happens because I choose to actively be friendly to people, at every establishment that I interact with regularly. Not just pleasant and polite, that's simply being a civilized person, but actively engaging them on a personal level, starting from just taking note of their name tag, and using their name, to complimenting them on something, or even sharing a random joke; and over time growing the relationship from there, to the point where we are talking about our respective families, and notable recent events in our lives. It's not difficult to do, it only adds a few seconds to your interactions, it doesn't cost you anything, and it gets even easier and more fun as time goes on and you get to know those people a little bit better, and you each start to share more of your lives with each other. Sure, we are all busy, and under a time-crunch, but some of the biggest joys of being alive, and going through this struggle called "life" in the first place, is the interactions between ourselves and the people around us. Even from the most pragmatic perspective, there are so many benefits from this behavior. People want to be helpful to people who they know, and like, more than people who they do not know. They are more likely to go the extra mile, or give a better break, for those who they know and like. That's a natural fact of the human experience. And when you are having a bad day, (and we all do sometimes), and you are sick, or unfriendly, or unhappy,or lonely, it becomes a network of people around you who notice that you aren't your usual self, and offer support. Even if that support is only noticing your distress, and perhaps some concern and sympathy, that can make a huge difference to your outlook on the world, and on your situation. Sometimes these interactions have lead all the way to active friendships, outside of the business interaction, and all of the benefits which having more good acquaintances and friends brings to one's life. In short, being actively friendly, rather than just simply polite, to those with whom you interact often, is a very easy way to, not just brighten up their life, but also your own life, and in the end, it's what living in a community, any community, is all about for me. Enjoy your weekends, (and shabbat shalom to whom it may apply. ) . __________________ Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/ ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber

02-19-2016, 10:01 AM	#4
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 73,340	I am a very upbeat person and don't have "bad days". I have a beautiful house, four cars i the driveway, a beautiful wife, and a kid that is nearly perfect. I am nice to everyone. I greet cashiers by name, hold the door open for strangers, every day. __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

02-19-2016, 10:29 AM	#6
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,032	making an effort to act happy starts to manifest itself as reality eventually. __________________

02-19-2016, 10:59 AM	#7
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	Whats this being Nice shit ? __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

02-19-2016, 11:02 AM	#8
Mickey_ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Worldwide Posts: 4,238	__________________ LifeSelector Affiliates - Make money today promoting the online porn of tomorrow. mb [at] lifeselector.com

02-19-2016, 09:28 AM	#2
ITraffic Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,725	yes if you have a genuine interest in other people and their lives no matter who they are it actually makes a community a community. many people are too self-obsessed and trapped in some narcissistic hell realm however.

02-19-2016, 11:21 AM	#10
ilnjscb Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 8,824	I have bad days all the time, and I have and have had plenty of success .... I'm nice to people whenever I can be. I'm sure there is some sort of positivity premium on assured success, that is, success not based on luck, but on concrete sustainable achievement, but I'm not sure it cures anxiety or stress behaviors automatically. Further, I find that certain kinds of people tend to brag the most right before they break down. When I think about my mindset rationally, which is rare, I always find something "wrong" among all the right things, and react negatively to that. Shit I can even work up to be upset that I'll never travel the stars!

02-19-2016, 11:34 AM	#11
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 64,441	i'm usually the guy on line behind you waiting for the chitty chat with the cashier to wrap up. ;

02-19-2016, 11:54 AM	#15
SAMANTAmax TieMeUp Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Home Posts: 7,043	Yea making ppl happy is equally how happy peson you are __________________ 1million $ in a Month

02-19-2016, 03:27 PM	#16
blogspot So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2016 Posts: 292	Hello Friend!

02-20-2016, 02:17 AM	#17
Sednub997 Naked in my bathroom Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Europe Posts: 6,129	The best feeling when you have did something good for the ppl you care __________________ X10 FANS PLAFORM - 3 IN 1 LIVE CAMS/FANS/MEMBERSHIP CMS CONTENT MANAGEMENT, MONETIZATION AND PUBLISHING PLATFORM 17 YEARS WITH 1000'S OF CLIENTS SCALABLE - ENTERPRISE-READY - MULTI-LANG

02-22-2016, 09:27 AM	#20
Nicholas FirstMobileCash Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 254	Nice, positive thread! Being polite and friendly seems natural to me, sometimes it's strange at how some people can be so rude or off-putting to a stranger for no reason. Sometimes I wonder if rude people go home and feel bad for how they treated others... but then I remember that what i perceive as rude or cold is not necessarily so in other cultures. Coming from Canada, it's definitely more challenging to get through to strangers in other parts of the world. Makes my trips back to north America (US included) that much more exciting... I'm always looking forward to the friendliness. Especially with service staff in stores or restaurants. __________________ email: nicholas at firstmobilecash dot com skype: nicholas.horger Join First Mobile Cash today!