joke thread - GoFuckYourself.com

brassmonkey · 08-12-2015, 08:38 AM

why does dr pepper cum in a bottle? cause his wife is dead
how do you get a nun prego? dress her like a alter boy
how do kill a circus clown? go for the juggler

nico-t · 08-12-2015, 08:41 AM

stick to copying and pasting news.

xXXtesy10 · 08-12-2015, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

stick to copying and pasting news.

brassmonkey · 08-12-2015, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

stick to copying and pasting news.

go hang yourself piece of shit

sad your only purpose in life is to bother others

god you are a piece of dog shit!!

Colmike9 · 08-12-2015, 08:50 AM

Schrodinger's cat walked into a bar, and didn't..

SekobA · 08-12-2015, 10:47 AM

That made me a tickle

2MuchMark · 08-12-2015, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

stick to copying and pasting news.

2MuchMark · 08-12-2015, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brassmonkey

go hang yourself piece of shit

sad your only purpose in life is to bother others

god you are a piece of dog shit!!

Awww come on, it was pretty funny.

Sly · 08-12-2015, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

stick to copying and pasting news.

Second best joke of the thread.

Can anyone guess the first?

2MuchMark · 08-12-2015, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colmike7

Schrodinger's cat walked into a bar, and didn't..

Sid70 · 08-12-2015, 10:57 AM

This is a joke thread: https://gfy.com/forum26/

Mediamix · 08-12-2015, 11:04 AM

Colmike9 · 08-12-2015, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by **********

lol

newB · 08-12-2015, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brassmonkey

how do kill a circus clown? go for the juggler

Hadn't heard that one.

Micky Mouse has taken Minnie to divorce court. The judge asks Micky, "So you claim your wife is insane and that's why you're seeking a divorce?"

"I didn't say she was crazy," said Micky, "I said she's fucking Goofy."

mineistaken · 08-12-2015, 12:23 PM

An African comes to the bar...

TimS · 08-12-2015, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colmike7

Schrodinger's cat walked into a bar, and didn't..

sarettah · 08-12-2015, 06:57 PM

A man walked into a bar.

Details at 11....

************************************************** *****

A talking duck, a barking cat and an SEO expert walked into a bar.

Bartender says, now wait a minute, there's no such thing as an SEO expert.

.

wehateporn · 08-12-2015, 07:10 PM

How much does GFY pay per Joke Thread Vs News Thread Vs Conspiracy Thread? I need to see if should get a transfer to another department

Zuzana Designs · 08-12-2015, 07:25 PM

What's black and never works?

Decaffeinated coffee you racist bastards.

A few of my favorites.

When I get naked in the bathroom the shower gets turned on.

I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.

Why does the Avon lady talk funny? Her lips stick.

Are your pants a compressed file? Because I want to unzip them.

You should sell hotdogs. You really know how to make a wiener stand.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders Piano? Neither has he.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it's probably shit.

People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics.

When Hugh Hefner dies nobody is going to say he is in a better place.

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's how I roll.

mineistaken · 08-12-2015, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wehateporn

How much does GFY pay per Joke Thread Vs News Thread Vs Conspiracy Thread? I need to see if should get a transfer to another department

This information (that gfy pays) is supposed to be a secret, you outed them!!

j3rkules · 08-16-2015, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

stick to copying and pasting news.

.........

L-Pink · 08-16-2015, 10:11 AM

newB · 08-16-2015, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

That's good.

A blind guy is in a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a blonde joke. The bartender says "listen buddy, I'm 6'4" 250 pounds, and blonde. The person on your left is an MMA fighter and also blonde. The person on your right is an ex-con and also blonde. Do you still want to tell that joke"

"Heck no," says the blind guy, "not if I'll have to explain it 3 times."

ErectMedia · 08-16-2015, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

stick to copying and pasting news.

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

EliteWebmaster · 08-16-2015, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

Awesome

TheSquealer · 08-16-2015, 04:26 PM

How does Brassmonkey reduce his charges and prison sentence after his arrest?

He snitches on everyone he possibly can and then once in prison for his felony conviction, he snitches on everyone in the prison in exchange for privileges.

TheSquealer · 08-16-2015, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

haha.. damn!

Colmike9 · 08-16-2015, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSquealer

How does Brassmonkey reduce his charges and prison sentence after his arrest?

He snitches on everyone he possibly can and then once in prison for his felony conviction, he snitches on everyone in the prison in exchange for privileges.

This joke got me banned from a Counterstrike server about 15 years ago:

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving?

The cop...

mineistaken · 08-16-2015, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colmike7

This joke got me banned from a Counterstrike server about 15 years ago:

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving?

The cop...

Server admin was:

a) mexican
b) african
c) white guilter

Colmike9 · 08-16-2015, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mineistaken

Server admin was:

a) mexican
b) african
c) white guilter

The way he sounded was definitely C

Relic · 08-16-2015, 08:18 PM

The joke is on you.

Nitzer Ebb · 08-16-2015, 09:49 PM

What’s the most confusing day in Harlem?
Fathers Day!

Spunky · 08-16-2015, 10:00 PM

And then God created Canadians:
Up in heaven God was talking to an angel about this beautiful country he was creating. He described this place to the angel.

"It will have lakes, tall mountains, as well as big trees covering the land. The air will be crisp and fresh , the water will always be clean, and the people will be the most friendly you will ever meet."

"I will call it Canada and the people living inside; Canadians."

"But God." the angel questioned, "don't you think you are being too nice to these Canadians?"

"Nope!" replied God, "Just wait 'till you see their neighbors!"

Spunky · 08-16-2015, 10:02 PM

Beer Festival
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery
presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would
like the "worlds best beer" a Corona
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to
him
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the
world, give me "The King Of Beers, a Budweiser"
The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with
Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
He gets it.
The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke."
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what
he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and
ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?"
The Molson's president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys
aren't drinking beer, neither would I.

Spunky · 08-16-2015, 10:04 PM

CANADIAN IMPOSTOR ALERT:
As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement - and then carefully note their reaction:

"Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a "shit disturber" and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, EH!"

If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they're one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once.

08-12-2015, 08:38 AM	#1
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 77,249	joke thread why does dr pepper cum in a bottle? cause his wife is dead how do you get a nun prego? dress her like a alter boy how do kill a circus clown? go for the juggler __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law! DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

08-12-2015, 08:50 AM	#5
Colmike9 (>^_^)b Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 7,224	Schrodinger's cat walked into a bar, and didn't.. __________________ Join the BEST cam affiliate program on the internet! I've referred over $1.7mil in spending this past year, you should join in. I make a lot more money in the medical field in a lab now, fuck you guys. Don't ask me to come back, but do join Chaturbate in my sig, it still makes bank without me touching shit for years..

08-12-2015, 10:47 AM	#6
SekobA Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 567721649 Posts: 12,167	That made me a tickle __________________ Best Affiliate Program Available Start Promoting 25% REV-SHARE

08-12-2015, 10:57 AM	#11
Sid70 Downshifter Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Road trip Posts: 16,413	This is a joke thread: https://gfy.com/forum26/ __________________ Русня, идите нахуй!

08-12-2015, 11:04 AM	#12
Mediamix Dutch Webmaster! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Netherlands Posts: 3,228	__________________ Sig too big

08-12-2015, 08:41 AM	#2
nico-t emperor of my world Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: nethalands Posts: 29,903	stick to copying and pasting news.

08-12-2015, 12:23 PM	#15
mineistaken See signature :) Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: ICQ 363 097 773 Posts: 29,656	An African comes to the bar...

08-12-2015, 06:57 PM	#17
sarettah see you later, I'm gone Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 14,127	A man walked into a bar. Details at 11.... ************************************************ *** A talking duck, a barking cat and an SEO expert walked into a bar. Bartender says, now wait a minute, there's no such thing as an SEO expert. . __________________ All cookies cleared!

08-12-2015, 07:10 PM	#18
wehateporn Promoting Debate on GFY Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 27,176	How much does GFY pay per Joke Thread Vs News Thread Vs Conspiracy Thread? I need to see if should get a transfer to another department __________________ Sexy Girls Teasing

08-12-2015, 07:25 PM	#19
Zuzana Designs All Your Design Needs Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: [email protected] Posts: 20,859	What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee you racist bastards. A few of my favorites. When I get naked in the bathroom the shower gets turned on. I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian. Why does the Avon lady talk funny? Her lips stick. Are your pants a compressed file? Because I want to unzip them. You should sell hotdogs. You really know how to make a wiener stand. Have you seen Stevie Wonders Piano? Neither has he. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it's probably shit. People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics. When Hugh Hefner dies nobody is going to say he is in a better place. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's how I roll. __________________ Website Design - Consulting - Development sarah [at] zuzanadesigns.com - See Our Work

08-16-2015, 10:11 AM	#22
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151

08-16-2015, 04:26 PM	#26
TheSquealer Mayor of Thneedville Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 25,394	How does Brassmonkey reduce his charges and prison sentence after his arrest? He snitches on everyone he possibly can and then once in prison for his felony conviction, he snitches on everyone in the prison in exchange for privileges. __________________ . Yes, fewer illegal immigrants working equates to more job opportunities for American citizens. Rochard

08-16-2015, 08:18 PM	#31
Relic So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 10,300	The joke is on you.

08-16-2015, 09:49 PM	#32
Nitzer Ebb Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2015 Location: Stjørdal, Norge Posts: 797	What’s the most confusing day in Harlem? Fathers Day!

08-16-2015, 10:00 PM	#33
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	And then God created Canadians: Up in heaven God was talking to an angel about this beautiful country he was creating. He described this place to the angel. "It will have lakes, tall mountains, as well as big trees covering the land. The air will be crisp and fresh , the water will always be clean, and the people will be the most friendly you will ever meet." "I will call it Canada and the people living inside; Canadians." "But God." the angel questioned, "don't you think you are being too nice to these Canadians?" "Nope!" replied God, "Just wait 'till you see their neighbors!" __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

08-16-2015, 10:02 PM	#34
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	Beer Festival After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the "worlds best beer" a Corona The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me "The King Of Beers, a Budweiser" The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it. The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?" The Molson's president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I. __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

08-16-2015, 10:04 PM	#35
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	CANADIAN IMPOSTOR ALERT: As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement - and then carefully note their reaction: "Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a "shit disturber" and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, EH!" If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they're one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once. __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*