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Old 03-17-2003, 03:55 PM   #1
wonton
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A Fish in New York Proclaims the End of the World!!!!

Shit!!! Even the fish are saying it now!!!

BBC News Reports on Doomsday Prophecy from a NY fish...


Mark my words, the signs are everywhere. If even fish are saying it, there has to be some truth to it.

- US will invade Iraq
- Iraq will hit Israel with chemical weapons
- Israel will nuke Baghdad AND use the war as an excuse to expel the Palestinians
- Other arab nations will attack Israel
- The US will interevene on behalf of Israel
- Russia and China will interevene on behalf of the arab nations
- North Korea will use the conflict as an excuse to invade South Korea
- The US will hit back at North Korea
- North Korea will nuke South Korea and the western US
- The US will nuke North Korea
- China will use the war as an excuse to invade Taiwan
- The US will strike back at China.....


The fish is right!!! The fish is right!!!

Oh my God, the fish is right!!!!!!

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Old 03-17-2003, 03:57 PM   #2
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you've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:02 PM   #3
wonton
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Quote:
Originally posted by iroc409
you've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?

READ WHAT THE FUCKING FISH SAYS DAMMIT!!!!!

IT'S REPORTED BY BBC DAMMIT!!!

US MEDIA IS TOO CHICKEN SHIT TO PRINT THE FISH PROPHECY!!!


HERE IS THE ARTICLE FOR THOSE TOO LAZY TO CLICK!!!!



'Talking fish' stuns New York


Some Hasidic Jews reportedly believe people can be reincarnated as fish
A fish heading for slaughter in a New York market shouted warnings about the end of the world before it was killed, two fish cutters have claimed.
Zalmen Rosen, from the Skver sect of Hasidic Jews, says co-worker Luis Nivelo, a Christian, was about to kill a carp to be made into gefilte fish in the city's New Square Fish Market in January when it began shouting in Hebrew.

"It said 'Tzaruch shemirah' and 'Hasof bah'," Mr Rosen later told the New York Times newspaper.

"[It] essentially means [in Hebrew] that everyone needs to account for themselves because the end is nigh."

'It's the devil!'

Mr Nivelo told the paper he was so shocked he fell into a stack of slimy packing crates, before running in panic to the shop entrance and grabbing Mr Rosen, shouting: "The fish is talking!"

It is very rare that God reminds people he exists in this modern world. But when he does, you cannot ignore it

New York resident Abraham Spitz
However his co-worker reacted with disbelief.

"I screamed 'It's the devil The devil is here!', but Zalman said to me 'You crazy, you a meshugeneh [mad man]!" Mr Nivelo said.

A disbelieving Mr Rosen then rushed to the back of the store, only to hear the fish identifying itself as the soul of a local Hasidic man who had died the previous year.

It instructed him to pray and study the Torah, but Mr Rosen admitted that in a state of panic he attempted to kill the fish, injuring himself in the process and ending up in hospital.

The fish was eventually killed by Mr Nivelo and sold.

God in fish form?

Many members of the city's Jewish community are now certain that God, troubled by the prospect of war in Iraq, has revealed Himself in fish form.

Ah, enough already about the fish, I wish I never said anything about it

Zalmen Rosen
"Two men do not dream the same dream," said Abraham Spitz, a resident who visited Mr Rosen's shop to observe the site of the miracle.

"It is very rare that God reminds people he exists in this modern world. But when he does, you cannot ignore it."

The incident also relates to the beliefs of some Hasidic Jews, who say that righteous people can be reincarnated as fish, the British Observer newspaper reported.

New York story

Others are more sceptical, with New York comedians already incorporating the story into their stand-up routines and one fish company even contemplating changing its slogan to "our fish speak for themselves".

Mr Rosen also seems to have become rather tired of being questioned about his incredible experience.

"Ah, enough already about the fish," Mr Rosen said.

"I wish I never said anything about it. I'm getting so many calls every day, I've stopped answering. Israel, London, Miami, Brooklyn... they all want to hear about the talking fish."
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:03 PM   #4
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Haaaaaaaaaaa!

I love it a talking Fish speaking hebro!!
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:04 PM   #5
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Oh shit!! My crabs just spoke to me..
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:04 PM   #6
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wtf?
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:04 PM   #7
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ummm.. okay. The BBC reported it, therefore it must be true?
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:04 PM   #8
Fletch XYX
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Originally posted by boneprone
Oh shit!! My crabs just spoke to me..


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Old 03-17-2003, 04:04 PM   #9
wonton
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Originally posted by boneprone
Haaaaaaaaaaa!

I love it a talking Fish speaking hebro!!
FOOL!!! FOOL!!!

DON'T YOU REALIZE THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS?!?!

EVEN FISH KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!

THIS IS A MIRACLE FROM GOD TELLING BUSH AND COMPANY NOT TO BLOW UP THE WORLD!!!!

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Old 03-17-2003, 04:04 PM   #10
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awesome i'm in canada
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:05 PM   #11
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If I was a fish about to be slaughtered by some Jew Id tell him a lot more than that!

This aint no thang
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:06 PM   #12
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lol, the fish are talking, the fish are walking, lol.
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:07 PM   #13
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The lord has told me:

"From the Nectar of the Bone Flows all that clicks"

the fish is a scam. The dude is an idiot if he didnt kill the fish just becasue of some bullshit he said.

If a fish could talk his way out of getting killed what would you expect him to say?
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:07 PM   #14
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ummm.. okay. The BBC reported it, therefore it must be true?
FOOL!!! FOOL!!!

MY FRIEND WHO WORKS IN MANHATTEN HEARD THE SCREAMS OF THE FISH ECHOING AND WAILING DOWN 42ND STREET!!


WHEN HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED BEFORE?!?!

WHEN HAVE FISH STOOD UP TO PROCLAIM THE END OF THE WORLD, AND IN HEBREW NO LESS?!?!?!

THE FISH IS RIGHT!! THIS FISH IS RIGHT!!!

OH MY GOD!!! THE FISH IS RIGHT!!!

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Old 03-17-2003, 04:09 PM   #15
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Quick..
Run to the store and talk to the fish!

Report back!
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:11 PM   #16
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I can see it tonight.
During the Presidents Address to the Nation tonight, fuckign British reporters asking him about the talking fish!!

This will be classic!

BBC!!
Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:12 PM   #17
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I stoped taking advice from fish about a year ago. fishy.
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:13 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by boneprone
Quick..
Run to the store and talk to the fish!

Report back!
FOOL!!! FOOL!!! FOOL!!!

THIS IS NOT SOME KIND OF JOKE, YOU RETARDED PORNOGRAPHER!!!

A FISH STOOD UP TO DELIVER A COSMIC MESSSAGE!!! THIS IS PERHAPS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT DAY IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY!!

THE SCREAMS OF THE FISH IS ECHOING ACROSS THE CONTINENTAL USA!!

THE SCREAMS OF THE FISH ARE TRAVELLING ACROSS THE OCEANS AND TO ALL THE MAJOR CONTINENTS (except Antartica).

THE FISH IS RIGHT!!! THE FISH IS RIGHT!!!

OH MY GOD!!! THE FISH IS RIGHT!!!
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:13 PM   #19
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ok. the fish is right.
now what?
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:14 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by wonton


FOOL!!! FOOL!!!

MY FRIEND WHO WORKS IN MANHATTEN HEARD THE SCREAMS OF THE FISH ECHOING AND WAILING DOWN 42ND STREET!!


WHEN HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED BEFORE?!?!

WHEN HAVE FISH STOOD UP TO PROCLAIM THE END OF THE WORLD, AND IN HEBREW NO LESS?!?!?!

THE FISH IS RIGHT!! THIS FISH IS RIGHT!!!

OH MY GOD!!! THE FISH IS RIGHT!!!


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Old 03-17-2003, 04:17 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Candyman69
awesome i'm in canada
You will be next................
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:18 PM   #22
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My hampster told me the fish is full of shit...
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:18 PM   #23
wonton
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Quote:
Originally posted by boneprone
ok. the fish is right.
now what?
WHADDYA MEAN, 'NOW WHAT?'.

FUCK, THE FISH IS RIGHT!!! THE FISH IS RIGHT!!! THE FUCKING FISH IS RIGHT!!! OH MY GOD!!! THE FUCKING FISH IS RIGHT!!!

STOP FISHING!!!

STOP EATING CAPTAIN HIGHLANDER FISH!!!

STOP EATING FISH AND CHIPS!!!

STOP PUTTING FISH ON BESTIALITY SITES!!!

STOP MAKING FUN OF CAVIAR!!!

STOP BAITING FISH WITH FISH-HOOKS!!!

THE FISH IS RIGHT!!! THE FISH IS RIGHT!!! THE FISH IS RIGHT!!!

OH MY GOD!!! THE FISH IS RIGHT!!!
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:19 PM   #24
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End of the world:

George Bush signs into law today a bill to reduce U.S. foreign dependency on foreign oil by enacting strict fuel efficiency standards.
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:19 PM   #25
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.... last night some fish was talking to me in hebrew ... today I have this terrible hangover ...
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:21 PM   #26
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id do this to a talking fish
http://vatican.rotten.com/fish/
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:23 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by rooster
id do this to a talking fish
http://vatican.rotten.com/fish/
YOU DISGUSTING FISH FUCKER!!!

MOCK THE FISH ALL YOU WANT!!!

I CAN HEAR THE FISH SCREAMING IN MY SLEEP!!!

I CAN SEE THE FISH LEADING ARMIES OF THE DEAD INTO THE APOCALYPSE.

OH FISHY, FISHY, FISHY - WHERE DID YOU GO?

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