kane

My brother is in the process of getting divorced. He filed the divorce papers and is quickly coming up on 30 days since he filed. At the 30 day mark if she hasn't responded (I doubt she will) he can ask for a default judgement and get an uncontested divorce.

Just curious if anyone has gone through that process and what it was like/how long it took.

Mr Pheer

Mine took 6 days for the judge to sign off, but both me and her filled out the papers and everything was signed & notarized.

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theking

I have...and as I recall I had to run an ad in every surrounding county for thirty or possibly it was sixty days. When I went to court my attorney began to speak and the judge interrupted him before he finished his first sentence. The judge asked if my wife was present and she wasn't so the judge then said divorce granted.

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kane

Were you able to serve her papers or did you have to run the ads because you couldn't find her to serve her?

Grapesoda

I think that's more for creditors etc..

dyna mo

i'd get the settlement terms on paper and signed by her and him before I feel this matter to be closed.

kane

The way I understand it (and I am just going off what I have read online) is he filed for divorce and she has not responded to the filing within 30 days. When he filed he listed the terms of the divorce so they are on record. Now he can ask for a default judgement since she is not responding to his filing. If he is granted the default it should be under the terms of his original filing.

I was just curious if anyone had gone through this and how long it took. I am reading everything from just a few days up to a few months.

L-Pink

dyna mo

I understand that. I went through the process, thus my suggestion. If specifics of who gets what are not clearly written in the court documents, there's opportunity to dispute the default if so inclined, which would mean the process would continue, which was part of your question.

either way, no biggie to me.

kane

let me give you the situation and see what you think.

About 4 years ago they sold their house and moved into a rental. About 2 years later they got separated and have been separated and living apart for the last 2 years. My brother is renting a house and his ex has been either renting, living with her parents or living with friends depending on who she has pissed off at the time.

They don't really have any property to split up. She recently bought her own car. The two main sticking points will be custody of the kids and whether or not she goes after part of my brother's pension.

When he filed he asked for full custody and he didn't offer her any part of his pension. They have some debt which he has agreed to pay and he isn't asking for her any child support nor is he offering her any alimony.

If I understand correctly, if she doesn't contest the divorce and he is granted the divorce on his terms, what he asked for in the filing will be given to him. Is there other stuff he should make certain to have in writing in order to cover his ass?

One thing I forgot. There is no talking to her. She doesn't respond to calls or texts and will not communicate with him in any way so even getting together with her and hashing out some kind of deal is out of the questions. She is pretending like all this is not happening.

dyna mo

if she doesn't talk then there is concern this is not an amicable break-up, she has ~1 year to re-open a default divorce, here in cali anyway. She would have to provide a really good reason for her absence leading to the default judgement but that's not out of the question, she could then challenge the pension, if so inclined. We didn't have kids so I am unsure as to the custody issues. But if she has resources to re-open, I'd pursue looking into making sure my pension is protected.

I'd bet he is fine as is, I just know how ugly these things can get in a split second. Not saying this one will.

kane

I will pass on to him what you said here. He is going in to talk to a lawyer early next week so they can file the default paperwork. I just want to make certain he has his ass covered so she can't suddenly change her mind several months down the road and come after him.

I have no idea how long a person can challenge a divorce in our state, but I will tell him to make certain to ask that so he can protect himself accordingly.

Thanks for the input.

dyna mo

that's my concern in situations like this too, I've seen the other party change their mind a # of times. if she's not talking, and especially not making herself available to the divorce proceedings, for me, that's a red flag.

kane

Same here. She hid from the process server for about 10 days when the papers were filed. My brother finally called her mom and asked her to call her up and tell her to accept the papers that it wasn't going away.

She has spiraled down in the last year or so. She is 41 and has pretty much abandoned her kids. She is dating a 22-year-old guy that she goes out clubbing with every weekend. She spends so much going out with him she can't pay her bills so she got evicted from one apartment and just moved out of another. Now she is basically couch surfing.

My worry is that several months down the road she is going to snap out of this and decide she wants to come after him for his pension, alimony etc.

L-Pink

The courts are stacked to favor "the poor woman" make sure she has an attorney or in the future, if it's to her advantage, she will claim she was under duress when she signed any paperwork.


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dyna mo

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

bronco67

I think I had one of those...can't remember it was like 18 years ago. But I do know it was simple without any bickering over our stuff. I also remember finding out that lawyers are expensive, even for a simple little divorce.

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