Wife is 9+ Months Pregnant - No Baby - GoFuckYourself.com

Smegma · 03-06-2003, 12:21 PM

This is just fucking KILLING me. Last FRIDAY our Dr. said that my wife would go into labor in 24 hours. He said that in the morning, pack a bag and come in. He'll have a room ready.

He said he would bet money on it. I should have taken that action.

I'm on needles over here..

Ideas People!!!

MonkeyMan · 03-06-2003, 12:21 PM

Maybe shes just REALLY constipated.

03-06-2003, 12:22 PM

anxiety is a bitch, isn't it?

Cheshire · 03-06-2003, 12:22 PM

Put her in the car and drive over a very bumpy road

Fletch XXX · 03-06-2003, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smegma

Ideas People!!!

beer.

machineg · 03-06-2003, 12:23 PM

take her to the most inconvienient place to go into labour .. chances are it will happen there .. murphys law

MonkeyMan · 03-06-2003, 12:23 PM

BTW do you know if its a boy or a girl yet??

Dildozer · 03-06-2003, 12:23 PM

laxative

Juicy D. Links · 03-06-2003, 12:24 PM

Take a toilet plunger and suck that baby out

mjrools23 · 03-06-2003, 12:24 PM

suckerpunch her in the belly

Butrflied · 03-06-2003, 12:25 PM

Have sex (saw it on Friends)

Smegma · 03-06-2003, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MonkeyMan
BTW do you know if its a boy or a girl yet??

We have no idea. We tried to find out but the babys legs were crossed during the ultrasound??!!

Smegma · 03-06-2003, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Butrflied
Have sex (saw it on Friends)

I decline.

asuna · 03-06-2003, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Butrflied
Have sex (saw it on Friends)

yes.. thats true

MonkeyMan · 03-06-2003, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smegma

We have no idea. We tried to find out but the babys legs were crossed during the ultrasound??!!

!!!! Sounds like your soon going to have an uptight daughter.

thats my guess.

Smegma · 03-06-2003, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
Put her in the car and drive over a very bumpy road

That would ruin the leather.

revbuddylove · 03-06-2003, 12:39 PM

2 things are good for inducing labor, walking and sex.
Semen contains prostaglandins and may stimulate labor. Her having an orgasm can also kick contractions into gear, which may speed the labor along.

Peaches · 03-06-2003, 12:43 PM

The sex thing is 100% true - I speak from experience and being a week late with my kid!

Dawgy · 03-06-2003, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smegma
We have no idea. We tried to find out but the babys legs were crossed during the ultrasound??!!

two choices:
1. its a girl who's a prude
2. its a homo

j/k congrats man

el_greco · 03-06-2003, 01:01 PM

What's the "+" ? Generally the time of conception is estimated off her last menstral cycle...so the gestation period is purely an estimate as well.

Basicly if she is more than 2 weeks overdue, she should be scheduled for a C-Section.

If she's not 2 weeks overdue, then listen to whatever the doc tells you.

Congrats!!!

jonasty · 03-06-2003, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by revbuddylove
2 things are good for inducing labor, walking and sex.
Semen contains prostaglandins and may stimulate labor. Her having an orgasm can also kick contractions into gear, which may speed the labor along.

he'd know too!!! he's working on a little army at his compound!

gigi · 03-06-2003, 01:09 PM

Yup..I must chime in with the choir....SEX SEX SEX....

Get to it mister!!

Smegma · 03-06-2003, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by el_greco
What's the "+" ? Generally the time of conception is estimated off her last menstral cycle...so the gestation period is purely an estimate as well.

Basicly if she is more than 2 weeks overdue, she should be scheduled for a C-Section. If she's not 2 weeks overdue, then listen to whatever the doc tells you.

Congrats!!!

I guess it's been a while since you had a kid..LOL

The fetus's age can be determined within 3 days. Using a ultrasound, the computer literally spits out the age of the baby in womb and then gives you a due date.

They will also induce labor before doing a C-Section.

gigi · 03-06-2003, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Basicly if she is more than 2 weeks overdue, she should be scheduled for a C-Section.

Actually, she should be scheduled for INDUCTION...not a c-section. ;)

Peaches · 03-06-2003, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gigi
Yup..I must chime in with the choir....SEX SEX SEX....

Get to it mister!!

And this is from the baby machine herself!!

(running......fast........)

gigi · 03-06-2003, 01:14 PM

HAHAHA....better watch it Peaches or in August you'll find a small, noisy basket at your front door.....hehehe

el_greco · 03-06-2003, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smegma

I guess it's been a while since you had a kid..LOL

The fetus's age can be determined within 3 days. Using a ultrasound, the computer literally spits out the age of the baby in womb and then gives you a due date.

They will also induce labor before doing a C-Section.

See what happens when I try to look smart??? Thanks Smegma.

Sarah_Jayne · 03-06-2003, 01:19 PM

my husband says have sex as well..apparently it worked for his exwife with their second child.

delia · 03-06-2003, 01:39 PM

Don't worry, it will happen very soon. Just that don't forget to come and tel us if it's a boy or a girl. Anyway congrats.

The Machine · 03-06-2003, 01:42 PM

they will induce labor if she is more than a week or two overdue. waiting is a bitch but at least you know you won't have to wait more than that.

genomega · 03-06-2003, 01:48 PM

Pics??

bigdog · 03-06-2003, 01:50 PM

maybe she is not pregnant and its just a beer belly

The Dawg · 03-06-2003, 01:52 PM

Dont worry buddy, you'll be fine. My son was 2 weeks overdue and they had to induce. He didnt want to come out.

He had a frown on his face for 2 weeks after he was born. He finally figured out he was out for good and then started to smile.

Just get ready for those sleepless nights.

Sassyass · 03-06-2003, 01:54 PM

Take her on a bumpy ride. Not a violently bumpy but bumpy. Like a golf cart ride. That can help.
The bun will come out of the oven when it is baked, don't worry. We were lucky

Both our kids where a bit early.

NoCarrier · 03-06-2003, 01:55 PM

Have sex with her. It's supposed to help. I am not kidding.

Smegma · 03-06-2003, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NoCarrier
Have sex with her. It's supposed to help. I am not kidding.

No Sex. other options?

KC · 03-06-2003, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smegma

No Sex. other options?

Why no sex? During your wife's last pregnancy did you ever taste the breast milk?

What about the rest of you GFY fathers... when your wife is lactating you try it at least once right?

DamnGoodRatio · 03-06-2003, 08:04 PM

Quote:

No Sex. other options?

I'll hit it for you. Cause I'm cool like that.

Butrflied · 03-06-2003, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DamnGoodRatio
I'll hit it for you. Cause I'm cool like that.

A true friend .. take one for the team

HungSolo · 03-06-2003, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DamnGoodRatio

I'll hit it for you. Cause I'm cool like that.

hehe

Kanoealoha · 03-06-2003, 08:30 PM

The baby will come when Its ready, not when the doc is ready!
Hehe...me and my siblings were all 2 weeks late! So hehe wait!
Congrats!

Smurfette · 03-06-2003, 08:33 PM

Maybe the baby is stuck!!
No kidding thats what my first one was they went in to induce me and after 36 hours of labour, decided to section me.

Got to be a girl though we went for an ultrasound tuesday and the legs are pinned tight, so my man said if its a girl they better stay that way! I've had 3 ultrsounds and they still don't know how far along I am, they keep telling me anytime from now and April 18th..

I feel for your wife though she must want the baby out now, I'm only 4ft 9 and if I get any rounder I'm going to trip over!

Congrats but if sex is not an option and a drive over a bumpy road isn't then tell her to try to a hot bath or shower.

Smurfette

angelsofporn · 03-06-2003, 08:35 PM

i went through the same thing 7 months ago...you're in for a ride

FetishTemptress · 03-06-2003, 08:41 PM

Sex can and does work, if that is out of the question - stimulating her nipples can also get things going...but, this isnt done for 5 minutes and stop..
Also, they wont do a c-section first..they would induce ...
That is 1 option I refuse ...I have 9 children my first 2 were induced...I learned my lesson after that.
I have been late by a few weeks, I have had my water break and be in labor off and on for 10 days and still I didnt let them c-section or induce. I was fine , and more important the baby was fine. I let nature take its course...and low and behold - 9 healthy children...

FT**

Tala · 03-06-2003, 08:50 PM

Sex really does work very well. You might consider also a lower-back massage or taking her to a mall and making her do a LOT of window shooping; walking gets her muscles moving and can easily induce contractions. The massage also helps to induce contractions.

Sexual stimulation induces contractions as well, especially if you can make her orgasm.

If all this fails, the Dr. will induce if she's too far over due date so that the baby won't ingest merconium. Don't panic about the thought of a c-section unless the Dr. says so.

Good luck!

Raven · 03-06-2003, 08:55 PM

You may just want to try waiting.

Your baby will be born...soon enough, even though the waiting is hell.

Mazel tov!

HS-Trixxxia · 03-06-2003, 09:14 PM

Smegma,
Welcome to parenthood - Now you'll realize that you no longer have control of everything. My first was 2 1/2 weeks late.
After 40 weeks, I would rush to the hospital everyday and fake contractions. They would monitor the baby and tell me to go home.

Did you're wife's mucous plug come out yet?
If yes, she should be ready soon so don't have her take a bath but a shower should be ok.

Did she lose a pound or two?
That's normally a sign that she's almost ready (a day or two)

Did she suddenly get a burst of energy and want to clean the whole house up? If so, expect the delivery within a day or so.

I'll repeat that sex (orgasms) and walking will help and also Kegal exercises should help her go into labour.

Good luck and I hope she's as lucky as I was to deliver with 3 pushes on my first child and 1 push with the second child.
All the best!!!!!

thatdykeliz · 03-06-2003, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gigi

Actually, she should be scheduled for INDUCTION...not a c-section. ;)

Fuck that induction shit...go for the zip-open-the-belly-and-get-good-drugs route. I had my labor induced with drugs and it was a hell that ensured my daughter will always be a fucking only child.

I was in labor for 21 hours, with no progress whatsoever...the contractions were a minute long and only a minute apart by the time I was 7 hours into it and they stayed that way until they decided to give me a C-section. Fuck that noise -- I wish they had just done the c-section right away and not put me through that.

Let me put it to you this way...you know how in the movies, when you see a scene set in a maternity ward, how there's always some woman screaming and howling and cursing somewhere sown the hall? That was me. At one point I called the nurse a fucking cum-sucking cock-smoking whore, and she went out of the room and refused to come back.

xerox · 03-06-2003, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dildozer
laxative

Whose the kid? I like him.

FetishTemptress · 03-06-2003, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by thatdykeliz

Fuck that induction shit...go for the zip-open-the-belly-and-get-good-drugs route. I had my labor induced with drugs and it was a hell that ensured my daughter will always be a fucking only child.

I was in labor for 21 hours, with no progress whatsoever...the contractions were a minute long and only a minute apart by the time I was 7 hours into it and they stayed that way until they decided to give me a C-section. Fuck that noise -- I wish they had just done the c-section right away and not put me through that.

Let me put it to you this way...you know how in the movies, when you see a scene set in a maternity ward, how there's always some woman screaming and howling and cursing somewhere sown the hall? That was me. At one point I called the nurse a fucking cum-sucking cock-smoking whore, and she went out of the room and refused to come back.

That is not necessarily true...when I see stuff like that on TV - to me it gives a very bad impression on labor/delivery. I've had 9 children myself. 7 vaginal birth and 1 c-section to have twins. I'd take the vaginal birth ANYDAY for a c-section.
Labor/Delivery depends alot on the state of mind of the woman.
ALL my labors were a very long length (we are talking days) and I NEVER ONCE screamed or hollered. I've been with many woman while laboring and giving birth and MOST DO NOT scream. There are a few that do but, once they get control of themselves and the labor, they calm right now!!
FT**

03-06-2003, 12:21 PM	#1
Smegma Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 1,751	Wife is 9+ Months Pregnant - No Baby This is just fucking KILLING me. Last FRIDAY our Dr. said that my wife would go into labor in 24 hours. He said that in the morning, pack a bag and come in. He'll have a room ready. He said he would bet money on it. I should have taken that action. I'm on needles over here.. Ideas People!!!

03-06-2003, 12:22 PM	#4
Cheshire Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Rosen-Villin Posts: 5,738	Put her in the car and drive over a very bumpy road __________________ just a little bit naughty

03-06-2003, 12:23 PM	#6
machineg Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 1,090	take her to the most inconvienient place to go into labour .. chances are it will happen there .. murphys law __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

03-06-2003, 12:23 PM	#8
Dildozer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 7,519	laxative __________________ Spam link here

03-06-2003, 12:24 PM	#10
mjrools23 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: NYC Posts: 1,604	suckerpunch her in the belly __________________ http://www.pornstarxposed.com/

03-06-2003, 12:21 PM	#2
MonkeyMan So Fucking Banned Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: New York.... Not the city... Up north further. Its about a six hour drive to the city from here. I don't like the city much. The air is not as clean, but they do have better strip clubs. Posts: 1,026	Maybe shes just REALLY constipated.

03-06-2003, 12:22 PM	#3
X37375787 Guest Posts: n/a	anxiety is a bitch, isn't it?

03-06-2003, 12:24 PM	#9
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	Take a toilet plunger and suck that baby out

03-06-2003, 12:25 PM	#11
Butrflied Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: SoFLa Posts: 1,344	Have sex (saw it on Friends) __________________ ~Butrflied~

03-06-2003, 12:39 PM	#17
revbuddylove Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: In the hizouse... Posts: 402	2 things are good for inducing labor, walking and sex. Semen contains prostaglandins and may stimulate labor. Her having an orgasm can also kick contractions into gear, which may speed the labor along. __________________ -Rev. Buddy Love Code Monkey at Adult.com

03-06-2003, 12:43 PM	#18
Peaches Old broad Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Away Posts: 13,933	The sex thing is 100% true - I speak from experience and being a week late with my kid!

03-06-2003, 01:01 PM	#20
el_greco Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: LA Posts: 352	What's the "+" ? Generally the time of conception is estimated off her last menstral cycle...so the gestation period is purely an estimate as well. Basicly if she is more than 2 weeks overdue, she should be scheduled for a C-Section. If she's not 2 weeks overdue, then listen to whatever the doc tells you. Congrats!!! __________________ If you aren't afraid of failing, you're not pushing hard enough. el_greco - 177643483

03-06-2003, 01:09 PM	#22
gigi Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada Posts: 691	Yup..I must chime in with the choir....SEX SEX SEX.... Get to it mister!! __________________ eMail ICQ: 32862272

03-06-2003, 01:14 PM	#26
gigi Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada Posts: 691	HAHAHA....better watch it Peaches or in August you'll find a small, noisy basket at your front door.....hehehe __________________ eMail ICQ: 32862272

03-06-2003, 01:19 PM	#28
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	my husband says have sex as well..apparently it worked for his exwife with their second child.

03-06-2003, 01:39 PM	#29
delia Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Europe Posts: 381	Don't worry, it will happen very soon. Just that don't forget to come and tel us if it's a boy or a girl. Anyway congrats. __________________ ProAdult My number one AVS

03-06-2003, 01:42 PM	#30
The Machine Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 859	they will induce labor if she is more than a week or two overdue. waiting is a bitch but at least you know you won't have to wait more than that.

03-06-2003, 01:48 PM	#31
genomega Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: NW Florida Posts: 1,190	Pics??

03-06-2003, 01:50 PM	#32
bigdog Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 6,964	maybe she is not pregnant and its just a beer belly

03-06-2003, 01:52 PM	#33
The Dawg Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: State Of Bliss Posts: 2,438	Dont worry buddy, you'll be fine. My son was 2 weeks overdue and they had to induce. He didnt want to come out. He had a frown on his face for 2 weeks after he was born. He finally figured out he was out for good and then started to smile. Just get ready for those sleepless nights.

03-06-2003, 01:54 PM	#34
Sassyass Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 1,101	Take her on a bumpy ride. Not a violently bumpy but bumpy. Like a golf cart ride. That can help. The bun will come out of the oven when it is baked, don't worry. We were lucky Both our kids where a bit early.

03-06-2003, 01:55 PM	#35
NoCarrier We need more free porn Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 16,356	Have sex with her. It's supposed to help. I am not kidding. __________________

03-06-2003, 08:30 PM	#41
Kanoealoha Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Happy Valley Posts: 1,261	The baby will come when Its ready, not when the doc is ready! Hehe...me and my siblings were all 2 weeks late! So hehe wait! Congrats! __________________ Strong Bad Rocks!

03-06-2003, 08:33 PM	#42
Smurfette Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: A little place on the ROCK! Posts: 542	Maybe the baby is stuck!! No kidding thats what my first one was they went in to induce me and after 36 hours of labour, decided to section me. Got to be a girl though we went for an ultrasound tuesday and the legs are pinned tight, so my man said if its a girl they better stay that way! I've had 3 ultrsounds and they still don't know how far along I am, they keep telling me anytime from now and April 18th.. I feel for your wife though she must want the baby out now, I'm only 4ft 9 and if I get any rounder I'm going to trip over! Congrats but if sex is not an option and a drive over a bumpy road isn't then tell her to try to a hot bath or shower. Smurfette

03-06-2003, 08:35 PM	#43
angelsofporn Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 3,218	i went through the same thing 7 months ago...you're in for a ride

03-06-2003, 08:41 PM	#44
FetishTemptress Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: New York Posts: 1,239	Sex can and does work, if that is out of the question - stimulating her nipples can also get things going...but, this isnt done for 5 minutes and stop.. Also, they wont do a c-section first..they would induce ... That is 1 option I refuse ...I have 9 children my first 2 were induced...I learned my lesson after that. I have been late by a few weeks, I have had my water break and be in labor off and on for 10 days and still I didnt let them c-section or induce. I was fine , and more important the baby was fine. I let nature take its course...and low and behold - 9 healthy children... FT**

03-06-2003, 08:50 PM	#45
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Sex really does work very well. You might consider also a lower-back massage or taking her to a mall and making her do a LOT of window shooping; walking gets her muscles moving and can easily induce contractions. The massage also helps to induce contractions. Sexual stimulation induces contractions as well, especially if you can make her orgasm. If all this fails, the Dr. will induce if she's too far over due date so that the baby won't ingest merconium. Don't panic about the thought of a c-section unless the Dr. says so. Good luck! __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

03-06-2003, 08:55 PM	#46
Raven Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 6,874	You may just want to try waiting. Your baby will be born...soon enough, even though the waiting is hell. Mazel tov! __________________ Raven ~RETIRED~

03-06-2003, 09:14 PM	#47
HS-Trixxxia Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Montreal Canada Posts: 2,946	Smegma, Welcome to parenthood - Now you'll realize that you no longer have control of everything. My first was 2 1/2 weeks late. After 40 weeks, I would rush to the hospital everyday and fake contractions. They would monitor the baby and tell me to go home. Did you're wife's mucous plug come out yet? If yes, she should be ready soon so don't have her take a bath but a shower should be ok. Did she lose a pound or two? That's normally a sign that she's almost ready (a day or two) Did she suddenly get a burst of energy and want to clean the whole house up? If so, expect the delivery within a day or so. I'll repeat that sex (orgasms) and walking will help and also Kegal exercises should help her go into labour. Good luck and I hope she's as lucky as I was to deliver with 3 pushes on my first child and 1 push with the second child. All the best!!!!!