Which quote is the funniest? - GoFuckYourself.com

JeremySF · 03-07-2003, 12:21 PM

"On February 26, this Wednesday, anti-war protesters are organizing a million-modem march. This is where they want people to fax their congressman with their protests. How lazy are we getting in this country? We used to march up and down with signs. Now people sit at home and eat bon bons, 'Can I just fax it in?'" ?Jay Leno

"Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'" ?Bill Maher

"Bulgarian pimps have been moving armies of prostitutes across Europe to await the arrival of US troops. Hey, that's more than the French are doing for us." ?Jay Leno

"The government now figures the cost of winning this whole Iraqi war will be about $320 per citizen. Of course, that's just for your basic war; if you want your deluxe trim package ? you want your tanks, your stealth bombers ? that'll be a few extra bucks more." ?Jay Leno

"Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language." ?Jay Leno

"Did you know 'Iraq' is Arabic for 'Vietnam?'" ?Jay Leno

"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq, we can't even get this in Florida." ?Jay Leno

"In an interview with Dan Rather, Saddam has challenged President Bush to a live, televised debate. I think this would be fair, since English is a second language to both of them." ?Jay Leno

"They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton." ?Bill Maher, HBO's "Real Time With Bill Maher"

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either." ?David Letterman

"Public service announcement: In case of a terrorist attack, bottled water and duct tape are not going to do a damn thing. So do what Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge does: Get really drunk, and pick up a hooker." ?David Letterman

"According to the Associated Press, there's a rumor that Saddam Hussein is now hiding weapons in schools. When asked why, Saddam said, Because a school is the last place President Bush will look." ?Conan O'Brien

"President Bush said protestors will not stop him from going to war. Well, duh, losing the popular vote didn't stop him from being president." ?Jay Leno

?The president has a lot of troubles these days. Everyone's getting mad at him left and right. Atheist groups are getting more mad at him because he's been using more and more references to Christianity in his speeches. In fact it happened this morning, he said, 'Jesus, look at all those big words.'" ?Conan O'Brien

xdcdave · 03-07-2003, 12:26 PM

"Bulgarian pimps have been moving armies of prostitutes across Europe to await the arrival of US troops. Hey, that's more than the French are doing for us." ?Jay Leno

Hell Yah Pimp.. Get those STD's Ready ladies!

Juggernaut · 03-07-2003, 12:53 PM

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either." ?David Letterman

This one is a stab

Ambergirl · 03-07-2003, 01:02 PM

All these quotes are good...

But I think my favorite one is:
"President Bush said protestors will not stop him from going to war. Well, duh, losing the popular vote didn't stop him from being president." ?Jay Leno

JeremySF · 03-07-2003, 04:08 PM

My favorite:

"Public service announcement: In case of a terrorist attack, bottled water and duct tape are not going to do a damn thing. So do what Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge does: Get really drunk, and pick up a hooker." ?David Letterman

03-07-2003, 12:21 PM	#1
JeremySF Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: San Francisco Posts: 1,236	Which quote is the funniest? "On February 26, this Wednesday, anti-war protesters are organizing a million-modem march. This is where they want people to fax their congressman with their protests. How lazy are we getting in this country? We used to march up and down with signs. Now people sit at home and eat bon bons, 'Can I just fax it in?'" ?Jay Leno "Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'" ?Bill Maher "Bulgarian pimps have been moving armies of prostitutes across Europe to await the arrival of US troops. Hey, that's more than the French are doing for us." ?Jay Leno "The government now figures the cost of winning this whole Iraqi war will be about $320 per citizen. Of course, that's just for your basic war; if you want your deluxe trim package ? you want your tanks, your stealth bombers ? that'll be a few extra bucks more." ?Jay Leno "Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language." ?Jay Leno "Did you know 'Iraq' is Arabic for 'Vietnam?'" ?Jay Leno "President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq, we can't even get this in Florida." ?Jay Leno "In an interview with Dan Rather, Saddam has challenged President Bush to a live, televised debate. I think this would be fair, since English is a second language to both of them." ?Jay Leno "They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton." ?Bill Maher, HBO's "Real Time With Bill Maher" "President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either." ?David Letterman "Public service announcement: In case of a terrorist attack, bottled water and duct tape are not going to do a damn thing. So do what Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge does: Get really drunk, and pick up a hooker." ?David Letterman "According to the Associated Press, there's a rumor that Saddam Hussein is now hiding weapons in schools. When asked why, Saddam said, Because a school is the last place President Bush will look." ?Conan O'Brien "President Bush said protestors will not stop him from going to war. Well, duh, losing the popular vote didn't stop him from being president." ?Jay Leno ?The president has a lot of troubles these days. Everyone's getting mad at him left and right. Atheist groups are getting more mad at him because he's been using more and more references to Christianity in his speeches. In fact it happened this morning, he said, 'Jesus, look at all those big words.'" ?Conan O'Brien __________________ ICQ: 176050593 / AIM: JerSF2000 "Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions." ---------------------------------------------

03-07-2003, 12:26 PM	#2
xdcdave Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: North East Posts: 1,911	"Bulgarian pimps have been moving armies of prostitutes across Europe to await the arrival of US troops. Hey, that's more than the French are doing for us." ?Jay Leno Hell Yah Pimp.. Get those STD's Ready ladies! __________________

03-07-2003, 01:02 PM	#4
Ambergirl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: East Coast Baby Posts: 1,269	All these quotes are good... But I think my favorite one is: "President Bush said protestors will not stop him from going to war. Well, duh, losing the popular vote didn't stop him from being president." ?Jay Leno __________________ Adult Business Consultant since 1995

03-07-2003, 04:08 PM	#5
JeremySF Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: San Francisco Posts: 1,236	My favorite: "Public service announcement: In case of a terrorist attack, bottled water and duct tape are not going to do a damn thing. So do what Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge does: Get really drunk, and pick up a hooker." ?David Letterman __________________ ICQ: 176050593 / AIM: JerSF2000 "Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions." ---------------------------------------------

03-07-2003, 12:53 PM	#3
Juggernaut Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 753	"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either." ?David Letterman This one is a stab