New office, sharing, major mistake?

[Naughty]

So i got tired of working from home for 16 years, so i rented office space.
To reduce costs i asked a mom from my son's school if she wanted to sit in my unit as well to split costs.

She's pretty succesful in what she does, but recently sold her office for quite some change.

So, i got the unit keys (i am not allowed to subrent) and went there. A day later she moved in her husband, painter, plummer and carpenter.

It's temp office space, so i wasn't planning on spending a lot of cash there. She however has a bundle of (extra) cash and is throwing that in to make the unit look great, in which she succeeded. However, i am the contractee, i was doing her a favour by aski8ng her share with me.

Now, this is the first time i share anything, haha. Not for nothing i do not have a boss.

Questions:
1. Did she overstate her welcome, or is she just being nice with her hands-on mentality?
2. Am i whining?
3. Did i make a classic mistake by asking her 50% of what i have to pay, making it look like we are equal in this?
4. Is this typical female behaviour?
5. Do all women ask their hubby to come over all the time?
6. By asking her, did i actually ask her AND everybody she knows?
7. Is there a way back?

We shortly spoke about this a week ago, she apologized. She acknowledged she went fast, elaborating she knew i had a smaller budget and i could benefit from her speedy fixes. However, yesterday there were two guys doing choires again, one of which we agreed i should take of.

Now, i am one of those people who hates to benefit from others. So it worked the other way around;-).



Is she just annoying and should i sit it out, since it is a temp space (could be 4 months, could be a couple years)?

Am i just not used to the way things work at the office and do i have to shut up and be happy since it aint getting better, ever, with anybody?

I'm difficult, i know that, hence the questions;-) Any other person could have been happy as hell with her fixing everything.

My main concern is I am the contractee, i asked her to join me since she needed office space, however she is taking care of thnigs without ever consulting me, or even asking my approval on things there.

- end of rant ;-)

[the Shemp]

boot her out...

[AllAboutCams]

Shag her

[Markonline]

Originally Posted by Naughty

3. Did i make a classic mistake by asking her 50% of what i have to pay, making it look like we are equal in this?

No, the mistake was telling her the actual rent cost/s at all.
Not with a view to ripping her off, but that's your business, and only yours.

When you grow into needing all the space, and if you don't your not growing your biz to any great consequence,
you now have a problem moving her out.

(But it will be easier to move her on whlst she's still flush with $, as once she's blown that, it will be tougher to move her out;
always assuming you really want to when you've done letting off steam)

[JFK]

hate sharing or partners

[kane]

If someone offered to share office space with me and wanted me to pay 50% of the rent I would assume we are equals in the office and it is as much mine as theirs.

Now, I wouldn't start painting and doing all kinds of stuff without talking to them first, but I would expect to be able to use the space as I wanted. Although I would have talked about it before hand so we were both clear on how this was going to work.

[Google Expert]

Originally Posted by Naughty

Questions:
1. Did she overstate her welcome, or is she just being nice with her hands-on mentality?
2. Am i whining?
3. Did i make a classic mistake by asking her 50% of what i have to pay, making it look like we are equal in this?

Unless she started busting your balls, you are overreacting overthinking and whining.
If she is paying half the rent (or any rent for that matter), she has equal rights as you do and can have people come over to visit her, unless you've previously agreed upon otherwise.

If you have any concerns on your mind just talk to her to set things straight. Don't be a pussy.

[DWB]

I once had an incredible loft style apartment in the downtown area. Wood floors, freight elevator, giant windows, 20 foot tall ceiling, you name it. It was huge enough to park a small jet inside of and was on the top floor of a building. My business partner at the time had a girl he was seeing (but not to move-in status yet) and she wanted to move to our city and asked if she could crash in my place, as I had plenty of room. No problem.

Having known her for a long time so I gave her the keys and headed out of town for about a week. I came back and ALL of my furniture was pushed to a corner and she literally put everything she owned in there, totally rearranging everything AND PAINTED THE WALLS!!!! My place went from a modern minimalistic loft apartment to a girlie, antique looking warehouse in a week.

I totally flipped. Kicked her right the fuck out. And they did such a sloppy paint job that it got all over the floors and window panes, which in the end cost me the deposit when I moved out.

[Naughty]

Originally Posted by DWB

I once had an incredible loft style apartment in the downtown area. Wood floors, freight elevator, giant windows, 20 foot tall ceiling, you name it. It was huge enough to park a small jet inside of and was on the top floor of a building. My business partner at the time had a girl he was seeing (but not to move-in status yet) and she wanted to move to our city and asked if she could crash in my place, as I had plenty of room. No problem.

Having known her for a long time so I gave her the keys and headed out of town for about a week. I came back and ALL of my furniture was pushed to a corner and she literally put everything she owned in there, totally rearranging everything AND PAINTED THE WALLS!!!! My place went from a modern minimalistic loft apartment to a girlie, antique looking warehouse in a week.

I totally flipped. Kicked her right the fuck out. And they did such a sloppy paint job that it got all over the floors and window panes, which in the end cost me the deposit when I moved out.

Haha. exact how i feel . this is a huge villa i am renting that you would never get for at least 20x the monthly feel i am paying.

I can relate to the other comments.

[tony286]

Originally Posted by DWB

I once had an incredible loft style apartment in the downtown area. Wood floors, freight elevator, giant windows, 20 foot tall ceiling, you name it. It was huge enough to park a small jet inside of and was on the top floor of a building. My business partner at the time had a girl he was seeing (but not to move-in status yet) and she wanted to move to our city and asked if she could crash in my place, as I had plenty of room. No problem.

Having known her for a long time so I gave her the keys and headed out of town for about a week. I came back and ALL of my furniture was pushed to a corner and she literally put everything she owned in there, totally rearranging everything AND PAINTED THE WALLS!!!! My place went from a modern minimalistic loft apartment to a girlie, antique looking warehouse in a week.

I totally flipped. Kicked her right the fuck out. And they did such a sloppy paint job that it got all over the floors and window panes, which in the end cost me the deposit when I moved out.

But she wasnt paying half the rent.

[tony286]

Originally Posted by Naughty

Haha. exact how i feel . this is a huge villa i am renting that you would never get for at least 20x the monthly feel i am paying.

I can relate to the other comments.

How can you feel that if she is paying half the rent? Did you talk about everything with her about how you feel about things before doing this with her? Also it sounds like you know you are one who like to work alone, if so why did you ask someone to share the space with you?
I know my personality, I would rather having a smaller office alone than share.

[Naughty]

Originally Posted by tony286

How can you feel that if she is paying half the rent? Did you talk about everything with her about how you feel about things before doing this with her? Also it sounds like you know you are one who like to work alone, if so why did you ask someone to share the space with you?
I know my personality, I would rather having a smaller office alone than share.

You have valid points.

It was a monetary decision. The workplace is huge, 4 rooms. Smaller did not equal cheaper.
I thought she worked alone, but her hubby is there 100% of the time walking around stealing things from other units in the villa (for which i am responsible).

As stated before, even though i am 40, i am new to sharing space;-). Only shared a house once for one year with the mother of my child; and working alone since 1996;-)

Obviously this is a learning curve, if i did not sit in a AAA-location i'd move away already.

I honestly think i am starting to become one of those "impossible to live with" persons;-)

Thanks again for the notes, i guess i am taking it up too much. I'll see how it goes in a few weeks and report back;-).

I'll try to adapt to not just myself, at the same time try to seperate my thoughts about this and focus more on the ideal workplace and just 'share' the kitchen together.

Since it is temporary, i'll never share again after this;-)

[Rochard]

Why would not want to be working from home? LOL.

[mineistaken]

Whats the problem IF she did redecorating out of her pocket and IF office owner agreed on redecorating?

Only problem is her bringing her husband in, but one sentence would have been enough to describe it

[Naughty]

Originally Posted by Rochard

Why would not want to be working from home? LOL.

The last 6 years i have been taking full time care of my kid as well, my private life is so 'integrated' with my worklife i think i will do more working from an actual office.

Its a test though, i might not like it at all.

Easier to invite business partners/clients as well.

[Naughty]

Originally Posted by mineistaken

Whats the problem IF she did redecorating out of her pocket and IF office owner agreed on redecorating?

Me. I hate profiting from others.

[Minte]

I've never been a fan of sharing space.
It's just a matter of time before it goes bad. Sounds like your already working on a exit strategy in your mind.

[Herb Kornfield]

What comes to my mind:
1. Who is on the lease? You or you and her? ... if only you alone, keep in mind that may be on the hook to return the space to the condition that the landlord finds acceptable when you leave. Meaning, you may have to change it back..... I would read your lease over to be clear on what's up.

2. Husband: If he gets caught stealing and the lease is in your name, you can be held responsible for his actions. Technically he is your guest just as she is if not on the lease. again - read the lease.

3. Splitting the rent: if you cannot afford the space alone, be ready to move if you approach her about these issues if you are the only person on the lease. Then be ready to figure out how you can come up with the delta that she paid if she rolls AND if you have to change back changes made.

I would have known my lease inside and out before partnering with people on space. My bet is she knows you are on the hook and has you by the balls if you do anything man ...

[mineistaken]

Originally Posted by Naughty

Me. I hate profiting from others.

But now redecorating is done, so what can you do? Nothing. You should have said her - lets not redecorate because its temp office or we should not redecorate because office owner does not allow it or some other excuse. Now its too late
Take it as "her fault" that she spent the money and do not feel bad about it.

[Naughty]

I'm the only one on the lease, she knows that and i am not allowed to sublet. She knows that too.

Its a big space for not much money, to prevent it from being squatted. Chances are high it will be torn down / renovated when we go out.

We are both aware everything must be returned in its original state when we get out, however we (she) improved it a lot, so no doubt they will accept it as is.

Her hubby is unemployed right now and fixing up the place for her (i wasn't informed;-)), maybe he won't be there as much when we're completely settled.

About the stealing part: he is more like a scavenger, looking for good doors, sinks, towels, locks etc to put in my (our) unit and put the shitty ones back in the other units.

"I" would never do that so i do not feel right about that. Again, i posted this thread because maybe this is how it works these days, i haven't had a job anywhere in 16 years. I might need to get with the program if I share space ;-)

[Naughty]

Originally Posted by mineistaken

But now redecorating is done, so what can you do? Nothing. You should have said her - lets not redecorate because its temp office or we should not redecorate because office owner does not allow it or some other excuse. Now its too late
Take it as "her fault" that she spent the money and do not feel bad about it.

She has $50.000+ clients that she needs to meet there, she knew what the contract said, she did it anyway.

She just sold a 100k business property (on wheels), so she has money to burn on the decoration of a new cheap (with a luxurious appearance) office.

[Naughty]

Originally Posted by Minte

I've never been a fan of sharing space.
It's just a matter of time before it goes bad. Sounds like your already working on a exit strategy in your mind.

Indeed. If only the location wasn't golden. I have been on the waiting list for a while, turned down other properties but this one was too good to be true.

One of the most expensive streets in the Hague (pic anno 1979):

[Minte]

Originally Posted by Naughty

Indeed. If only the location wasn't golden. I have been on the waiting list for a while, turned down other properties but this one was too good to be true.

One of the most expensive streets in the Hague (pic anno 1979):

That is a beautiful building and if it's a great location it's understandable why you would want the space.

[L-Pink]

Every things not perfect in Utopia? lol

.

[Naughty]

Originally Posted by L-Pink

Every things not perfect in Utopia? lol

.

hehe, i'm moving away from Utopia it seems... Rochard might be right

[Naughty]

Originally Posted by Minte

That is a beautiful building and if it's a great location it's understandable why you would want the space.

Yeah, we have the right half, second floor (first floor for non-us;-)).