'Death with dignity' advocate dies, what?s your opinion?

[Jet Set Cat]

Terminally ill 'death with dignity' advocate dies

Not only do I believe that a terminally ill person should have the right to die,
I also feel that anyone who would oppose this right is cruel and inhumane.

[Seth Manson]

I respect her decision.

[SylviaMaroon]

i'm on the fence about this issue, it went too public.. this is not something I would put on social media.. I mean she has a family , a husband.. I don't know this is fucked up..

[kane]

Originally Posted by SylviaMaroon

i'm on the fence about this issue, it went too public.. this is not something I would put on social media.. I mean she has a family , a husband.. I don't know this is fucked up..

My understanding is that they all supported her in going public. She did it as a way to draw attention to a cause and show that it is a way for people to end their life on their terms if they so choose to.

Personally, I support it. Obviously, not everyone has to be as public about it as she was, but I think if you have a terminal illness there is nothing wrong with ending your life instead of just laying there lingering, suffering and withering away.

[InfoGuy]

It should be allowed, but carefully scrutinized. There's the potential for abuse from family members seeking an early inheritance from a dying relative.

[beerptrol]

I am for it. Saw a documentary about it on Net Flix!
Seems like some get, but never use the lethal drugs. They just like to have the choice to die with dignity if they so desire it!

[L-Pink]

Good for her, her decision and her decision only.

[SylviaMaroon]

Originally Posted by kane

My understanding is that they all supported her in going public. She did it as a way to draw attention to a cause and show that it is a way for people to end their life on their terms if they so choose to.

Personally, I support it. Obviously, not everyone has to be as public about it as she was, but I think if you have a terminal illness there is nothing wrong with ending your life instead of just laying there lingering, suffering and withering away.

Yes, I agree with that it's her decision. Making a public live documentary reality show of it what makes me a bit uneasy..

I guess I'm worried if going public played any part in her decision. I hope she didn't feel that she'd have to go through with it, just because she went public. I worry she had some comments when she posted the ' I've changed my mind ' video about not following through that made her do it in the end.

[seeandsee]

She did't want to end like others, her choice, no difference on end...

[pornmasta]

attention whore != death with dignity

also i don't believe in life after death, so for me there is nothing else to hope that life...

[RandyRandy]

Originally Posted by Jet Set Cat

Terminally ill 'death with dignity' advocate dies

Not only do I believe that a terminally ill person should have the right to die,
I also feel that anyone who would oppose this right is cruel and inhumane.

+1 But I'll take it a step further. Everyone has their own definition of dignity.

The day I can no longer wipe my own ass is the day I fill my final prescription.

[EddyTheDog]

A bit close to home ATM - I am currently looking after my sick aunt - Breast cancer with secondaries in the vertebrae and severe dementia - She is in no fit state to make the decision - Could I make it for her?..

I hope I could - Not an option though.....

[PR_Glen]

Originally Posted by kane

My understanding is that they all supported her in going public. She did it as a way to draw attention to a cause and show that it is a way for people to end their life on their terms if they so choose to.

Personally, I support it. Obviously, not everyone has to be as public about it as she was, but I think if you have a terminal illness there is nothing wrong with ending your life instead of just laying there lingering, suffering and withering away.

the problem with making a public spectacle out of it, and that's exactly what this is, is it puts ideas in peoples heads. Not the terminal ones, but ANYONE who has problems in their lives. The thought of getting 'everyones support' and attention because you CHOOSE to end your life.. Ulcers? better blow my brains out, post partum? I should probably jump out the window. Too much debt? oh man i better drive into the lake...

This message doesn't only encourage the terminally ill, it nudges people on the edge over the cliff because now its hip... People kill themselves anyway, they don't need encouragement, not ever.

[Jet Set Cat]

Originally Posted by EddyTheDog

A bit close to home ATM - I am currently looking after my sick aunt - Breast cancer with secondaries in the vertebrae and severe dementia - She is in no fit state to make the decision - Could I make it for her?..

I hope I could - Not an option though.....

Sorry to hear about your aunt, unfortunately I doubt you can make that decision for her and depending on where you?re located she may not even be permitted to make it.

I also went through what you?re going through now but a bit closer, I watched my younger sister the mother of 4 die at the young age of 37 with the same illness your aunt has and believe me it was a terrible experience. I actually was seriously considering ending it for her myself and if I could have I certainly would have without the slightest feeling of remorse.

This is why I am so adamant about a person?s right to call it quits.

I wish you and your aunt the very best, however from a realistic point of view my only advice is ?brace yourself? Unfortunately the worst is yet to come.

[JD]

My mom died about a week before her approval letter showed up.

Shit takes forever just to so you can off yourself legally. smh.

[GregE]

Modern medicine couldn't save her life, so she chose to save herself from a horrific certain death. How any thinking person could find fault with that decision is beyond me.

[theking]

Originally Posted by kane

My understanding is that they all supported her in going public. She did it as a way to draw attention to a cause and show that it is a way for people to end their life on their terms if they so choose to.

Personally, I support it. Obviously, not everyone has to be as public about it as she was, but I think if you have a terminal illness there is nothing wrong with ending your life instead of just laying there lingering, suffering and withering away.

Oregon was alone in allowing assisted suicide but I think there is now another state that has made it legal. If I am correct...do you know what state it is?

[Mutt]

The state has no business dictating when and how an individual chooses to die. In a democracy the church/religion and state must be separate and any law against assisted suicide is based on a delusional irrational belief in a sky wizard who forbids the taking of one's own life.

As for the slippery slope that legalizing assisted suicide would create that people are frightened of, it's a strawman argument, assisted suicide already is legal in the Netherlands and Switzerland and there hasn't been a surge in people without debilitating painful terminal illnesses killing themselves.

Rational intelligent and compassionate human beings can create a law that would draw a line between those for whom there is no hope and for those who still do.

This is just a 'God' thing no matter how hard people try to dance around it. And 'God' should not be forced upon anyone.

Bill Marr put it best when he asked those who believe in the Abrahamic religions in literal terms - 'So what other ideas and beliefs from the Bronze Age do you cleave to?'

[SBJ]

good for her. We have the right to put down our old dogs when they are old and can't have a healthy life. So why not be able to put ourselves down when we are going to die a painful death.

[JA$ON]

your body, your life, your death

As long as you don't hurt anyone, end it however you like

[Grapesoda]

Originally Posted by pornmasta

attention whore != death with dignity

also i don't believe in life after death, so for me there is nothing else to hope that life...

and life before death???

[WDF]

Watching someone with a terminal illness fade away slowly is painful. I would imagine it is much worse for the person with the illness.

Why do we make these people suffer until the very end?

What right does anyone have to force such suffering?

I have watched far too many people die to know that laying in a bed suffering with uncontrollable pain is not the way I want to go out. Being loaded up with morphine is not a dignified death either though.

[Jel]

Originally Posted by PR_Glen

the problem with making a public spectacle out of it, and that's exactly what this is, is it puts ideas in peoples heads. Not the terminal ones, but ANYONE who has problems in their lives. The thought of getting 'everyones support' and attention because you CHOOSE to end your life.. Ulcers? better blow my brains out, post partum? I should probably jump out the window. Too much debt? oh man i better drive into the lake...

This message doesn't only encourage the terminally ill, it nudges people on the edge over the cliff because now its hip... People kill themselves anyway, they don't need encouragement, not ever.

the people who kill themselves for the reason's you state are still going to kill themselves anyway, regardless of whether the terminally ill do or don't. Rationale for those people is gone, and whether it's 'hip' or not doesn't even come into it. People who commit suicide due to depression do it for vastly different reasons, the two don't even compare, nor cross over in the slightest.

[JFK]

Originally Posted by InfoGuy

It should be allowed, but carefully scrutinized. There's the potential for abuse from family members seeking an early inheritance from a dying relative.

True that

[Rochard]

I think that everyone should have the right to make such decisions.

With that said, if it was me, I would want to live as long as possible. I would fight it with every ounce of determination my body could muster. She called it quits before the battle began; Maybe she would have lived.

My grandmother had cancer years ago and was told she had a year left to live. She was 89 at the time, and checked herself out of the hospital and refused treatment. The chemo was doing so much damage that it was killing her. She decided she wanted to live out the rest of her life in the home she had lived in for thirty years surrounded by her friends instead of in a cold hospital surrounded by strangers. She died in her garden, which she had tended and loved since I was a child. It was perfect for her.

I would live every day doing what I love, not pulling the plug.

[iwiiiiiiiiii]

It should be.

Somebody I know died in September here near Montreal, he got a parachute accident few years ago and he was paraplegic, he ended up wanting to die so he stopped eating and died after 62 days of suffering with the skin on the bones, try to imagine it.

[ruff]

Originally Posted by L-Pink

Good for her, her decision and her decision only.

Yes, you are correct on this.

[InfoGuy]

Originally Posted by Mutt

The state has no business dictating when and how an individual chooses to die. In a democracy the church/religion and state must be separate and any law against assisted suicide is based on a delusional irrational belief in a sky wizard who forbids the taking of one's own life.

As for the slippery slope that legalizing assisted suicide would create that people are frightened of, it's a strawman argument, assisted suicide already is legal in the Netherlands and Switzerland and there hasn't been a surge in people without debilitating painful terminal illnesses killing themselves.

Rational intelligent and compassionate human beings can create a law that would draw a line between those for whom there is no hope and for those who still do.

This is just a 'God' thing no matter how hard people try to dance around it. And 'God' should not be forced upon anyone.

Bill Marr put it best when he asked those who believe in the Abrahamic religions in literal terms - 'So what other ideas and beliefs from the Bronze Age do you cleave to?'

Religion is the biggest obstacle. It's wrong that the religious right forces their opinions and values on others through laws because they believe that taking a human life is a sin.

[sandman!]

i dont see why the government should be able to tell people they cant die.

[hottoddy]

I agree that it should definitely be allowed but carefully scrutinized to determine those truly in need vs. those with early onset conditions. Having seen people die from cancer, I know it can be relatively quick and dignified but often not.

[kane]

Originally Posted by PR_Glen

the problem with making a public spectacle out of it, and that's exactly what this is, is it puts ideas in peoples heads. Not the terminal ones, but ANYONE who has problems in their lives. The thought of getting 'everyones support' and attention because you CHOOSE to end your life.. Ulcers? better blow my brains out, post partum? I should probably jump out the window. Too much debt? oh man i better drive into the lake...

This message doesn't only encourage the terminally ill, it nudges people on the edge over the cliff because now its hip... People kill themselves anyway, they don't need encouragement, not ever.

I think if someone is depressed and going to kill themselves or kill themselves because they have a ulcer, they were going to do this anyway without the publicity this woman brought. It wasn't like this woman was saying, "Just kill yourself if you want to." She is sure to point out that she is terminally ill and that this is an option for those who are terminally ill.

[georgeyw]

Originally Posted by PR_Glen

the problem with making a public spectacle out of it, and that's exactly what this is, is it puts ideas in peoples heads. Not the terminal ones, but ANYONE who has problems in their lives. The thought of getting 'everyones support' and attention because you CHOOSE to end your life.. Ulcers? better blow my brains out, post partum? I should probably jump out the window. Too much debt? oh man i better drive into the lake...

This message doesn't only encourage the terminally ill, it nudges people on the edge over the cliff because now its hip... People kill themselves anyway, they don't need encouragement, not ever.

If they want to end their life, it is their decision, pure and simple.

If it is possible that they are able to do it in a more civilised fashion - ie other than throwing themselves off buildings / infront of buses, trains etc then let them die!

Who are you or any of us to choose for another? It is their life, therefore their right to make that decision.

[MaDalton]

with every pet we are like "we have to end it cause he suffers" and can't even ask what the pet thinks

but a human being should have no choice but suffer? fuck that.

I did civil service in a retirement home and have witnessed several people die within my 13 months, including some very painful deaths with terminal cancer.

if it's my time, i'd know how to end it when i want

[TheSquealer]

I went through this fairly recently...

A few months back, i went to see my grandfather (80yrs) who had lung cancer and likely less than a month to live. It was bad enough that doctors would not schedule any further appointments with him and just prescribed him enough pain meds to wipe out a small city. I used to live in his area and when i was in town would have dinner with them every Sunday evening just to spend time with them and we often met during the week for lunch. My grandmother had since passed and I had also moved away so I felt horrible about not keeping in touch as I should have. The honest truth is that he'd given up long before that when my grandmother died of Alzheimers and really didn't want to continue on. His life was not only miserable and he was chronically depressed but it was little more than trips to the hospital and waiting on test results, being poked, scraped etc etc etc almost daily. You could tell just by talking to him well before the cancer that he was done.

With the suicide part, he had already scheduled a date to do it and it gave me a week with him, so went to see him and i tried to just stay with him and hang out and talk.

What happened:

Basically, in the states where this is legal, I believe a panel of doctors have to sign off on it and the patient has to be terminal with little to zero time left. It's not an easy thing to do or to qualify for. The only reason they allow it is to skip the last week or two or three of agonizing, around the clock pain of some diseases/cancers before the patient dies. If you think about it, the death certificate needs to say "cause of death - cancer", not "cause of death - suicide" as that would nullify life insurance and have other possible legal consequences regarding the estate and subsequent settlements.

Once the doctors approved it, they approved a prescription which was to be picked up just like any other medication. It was Pentobarbital (the same thing that death row guy woke up from during his execution not too long ago). A guy from a volunteer organization picked it up, brought it to him to help him ingest it.

The day before, the fire chief of his town, police chief and a lot of friends were over and I was a little panicked as i started to think about the practical side of what was about to happen. Who is this "volunteer", "does he have medical training", "what if there si choking and 1/2 of it is spit back up... what the hell are you supposed to do", "what is everyone's obligation in terms of rendering aid if things don't go well" and so on. I asked the fire chief to have paramedics there just to deal with it so that bystanders wouldn't potentially be at risk (good Samaritan laws) and to just verify he had passed.

The fire chief said he wanted to come over with a bunch of people and cook a big breakfast at 7:30 as he'd planned to take this stuff by 10:00am.

A bunch of people came over, we all ate and talked and laughed just like any normal day. Finally, some odd little hippy who definitely did not have any medical training showed up with a little prescription bag. Some people said goodbye and left which was hard to watch. The guy told my grandfather that first he had to take a first medication to prevent vomiting. Then he'd have to wait 30 minutes. My grandfather was super irritated. He was irritated that the guy was 10 minutes late. He was really irritated that he had to wait another 30 minutes for the first meds to kick in. Watching that certainly made it clear that he was ready... not only ready but legitimately anxious to get on with it. You always wonder about people who have accepted their fate like this... walking to the electric chair, about to be beheaded by ISIS or whatever... how calm they are and if its shock or complete acceptance of whats about to happen. Its hard to really understand when you are not in that position, but he had not only completely accepted what was happening but had been anxiously awaiting this moment for a long time. It was a real mind fuck to witness.

In this time, almost everyone said goodbye and left. The few family that were there took a minute alone to say goodbye.

After 30 minutes passed, the volunteer guy poured water into a glass and mixed in the powder. He cautioned my grandfather that it tasted nasty and asked if he wanted to mix with with anything... beer, alcohol, juice or whatever. He said some people just sip it over the course of 10 minutes. My grandfather snatched the glass from his hand and sucked it down like it was a college drinking game. That image was really stunning and surreal.

And that was it. We just sat there and talked like nothing happened. Cracking jokes and then, after watching what felt to be one mind fuck after another and knowing whats going to happen in a matter of minutes right in front of me, something unbelievably surreal happened. There was a girl that lived next door with her family. She was about 20 or so, Vietnamese and had some relationship with my grandfather. The way he spoke, they spent a lot of time together. Anyway, at that moment, she walked up to the door in a kind of panic and with a big sigh of relief upon seeing him sitting there normally in his favorite choir, asked if everything was ok because she saw the cars and the fire chiefs car. To call my grandfather blunt, would be a gross understatement. He told her that he was checking out, right now, at this minute and said "goodbye". You could see the confusion on her face and as she looked around at everyone there, and there faces, you could see on her face that she was guessing what was happening. She hugged him and walked out the door crying and not knowing what to say.

He was just sitting there in his chair. 100% ok. He looked around and let out a big laugh. The fire chief asked "Whats so funny, Walt" and he said "I got all of you to come over here and stare at me"... then his head slowly nodded and in a few seconds it was apparent that he was unconscious. Over the course of about 10 minutes, his breathing got shallower and shallower until it stopped and his heart stopped. Everyone left and I was just sitting there looking at him, dead in his chair.

It was all very hard to process. Not the sad part of losing someone, but hard to process how it had happened. You want to help and you can't. You want to ease the pain and you can't. You want to give that person comfort and you can't. You want to fix it and you can't. No matter what you want or think, he's still going to die in a matter of days anyway, so that fact makes it a little weirder to process everything you are feeling.

Anyway, this isn't an easy thing to make happen for those who would like to. Its difficult and it has to be approved by the state after multiple doctors sign off on it. It's only legal in a few states and he claimed that he was number 183 or something like that to do it. So counting this girl, its probably less than 200 people who have done this in the US.

My opinion...?

The only reason its allowed is for a terminally ill patient to skip the last stage of extreme and persistent pain. So its irrelevant if they do it anyway, as most have 1-2-3 weeks maximum anyway.

[TrashyGirl]

Originally Posted by TheSquealer

I went through this fairly recently...

Thank you for sharing this. It's a shame what you wrote most likely won't go beyond this board for others to read and consider its impact.

[MiamiBoyz]

Fantastic.

Everyone should have the choice over their own bodies and if they wish to live or die. I myself plan on ending it when the quality of my life deteriorates to the point that it is no longer enjoyable to continue living.

I certainly do NOT intend to waste away in a nursing home being turned over with bedsores and a diaper until such time that some vital organ finally fails. Nope

[Bladewire]

Humans should legally be allowed this in all 50 states today. It's a no brainer. Let them die in peace at home

They should allow this for pets as well.

Had my dog 13 years, last few months of his life last December was a lot of pain. I went to 3 Veterinarians , none of them would give me any meds to put that little guy down at home in peace. Instead he got a shot they fucked up at the Vets, a lot of yelping and stress. At least he went down in his own bed on that exam table.

[Mutt]

Originally Posted by TheSquealer

I went through this fairly recently...

A few months back, i went to see my grandfather (80yrs) who had lung cancer and likely less than a month to live. It was bad enough that doctors would not schedule any further appointments with him and just prescribed him enough pain meds to wipe out a small city. I used to live in his area and when i was in town would have dinner with them every Sunday evening just to spend time with them and we often met during the week for lunch. My grandmother had since passed and I had also moved away so I felt horrible about not keeping in touch as I should have. The honest truth is that he'd given up long before that when my grandmother died of Alzheimers and really didn't want to continue on. His life was not only miserable and he was chronically depressed but it was little more than trips to the hospital and waiting on test results, being poked, scraped etc etc etc almost daily. You could tell just by talking to him well before the cancer that he was done.

With the suicide part, he had already scheduled a date to do it and it gave me a week with him, so went to see him and i tried to just stay with him and hang out and talk.

What happened:

Basically, in the states where this is legal, I believe a panel of doctors have to sign off on it and the patient has to be terminal with little to zero time left. It's not an easy thing to do or to qualify for. The only reason they allow it is to skip the last week or two or three of agonizing, around the clock pain of some diseases/cancers before the patient dies. If you think about it, the death certificate needs to say "cause of death - cancer", not "cause of death - suicide" as that would nullify life insurance and have other possible legal consequences regarding the estate and subsequent settlements.

Once the doctors approved it, they approved a prescription which was to be picked up just like any other medication. It was Pentobarbital (the same thing that death row guy woke up from during his execution not too long ago). A guy from a volunteer organization picked it up, brought it to him to help him ingest it.

The day before, the fire chief of his town, police chief and a lot of friends were over and I was a little panicked as i started to think about the practical side of what was about to happen. Who is this "volunteer", "does he have medical training", "what if there si choking and 1/2 of it is spit back up... what the hell are you supposed to do", "what is everyone's obligation in terms of rendering aid if things don't go well" and so on. I asked the fire chief to have paramedics there just to deal with it so that bystanders wouldn't potentially be at risk (good Samaritan laws) and to just verify he had passed.

The fire chief said he wanted to come over with a bunch of people and cook a big breakfast at 7:30 as he'd planned to take this stuff by 10:00am.

A bunch of people came over, we all ate and talked and laughed just like any normal day. Finally, some odd little hippy who definitely did not have any medical training showed up with a little prescription bag. Some people said goodbye and left which was hard to watch. The guy told my grandfather that first he had to take a first medication to prevent vomiting. Then he'd have to wait 30 minutes. My grandfather was super irritated. He was irritated that the guy was 10 minutes late. He was really irritated that he had to wait another 30 minutes for the first meds to kick in. Watching that certainly made it clear that he was ready... not only ready but legitimately anxious to get on with it. You always wonder about people who have accepted their fate like this... walking to the electric chair, about to be beheaded by ISIS or whatever... how calm they are and if its shock or complete acceptance of whats about to happen. Its hard to really understand when you are not in that position, but he had not only completely accepted what was happening but had been anxiously awaiting this moment for a long time. It was a real mind fuck to witness.

In this time, almost everyone said goodbye and left. The few family that were there took a minute alone to say goodbye.

After 30 minutes passed, the volunteer guy poured water into a glass and mixed in the powder. He cautioned my grandfather that it tasted nasty and asked if he wanted to mix with with anything... beer, alcohol, juice or whatever. He said some people just sip it over the course of 10 minutes. My grandfather snatched the glass from his hand and sucked it down like it was a college drinking game. That image was really stunning and surreal.

And that was it. We just sat there and talked like nothing happened. Cracking jokes and then, after watching what felt to be one mind fuck after another and knowing whats going to happen in a matter of minutes right in front of me, something unbelievably surreal happened. There was a girl that lived next door with her family. She was about 20 or so, Vietnamese and had some relationship with my grandfather. The way he spoke, they spent a lot of time together. Anyway, at that moment, she walked up to the door in a kind of panic and with a big sigh of relief upon seeing him sitting there normally in his favorite choir, asked if everything was ok because she saw the cars and the fire chiefs car. To call my grandfather blunt, would be a gross understatement. He told her that he was checking out, right now, at this minute and said "goodbye". You could see the confusion on her face and as she looked around at everyone there, and there faces, you could see on her face that she was guessing what was happening. She hugged him and walked out the door crying and not knowing what to say.

He was just sitting there in his chair. 100% ok. He looked around and let out a big laugh. The fire chief asked "Whats so funny, Walt" and he said "I got all of you to come over here and stare at me"... then his head slowly nodded and in a few seconds it was apparent that he was unconscious. Over the course of about 10 minutes, his breathing got shallower and shallower until it stopped and his heart stopped. Everyone left and I was just sitting there looking at him, dead in his chair.

It was all very hard to process. Not the sad part of losing someone, but hard to process how it had happened. You want to help and you can't. You want to ease the pain and you can't. You want to give that person comfort and you can't. You want to fix it and you can't. No matter what you want or think, he's still going to die in a matter of days anyway, so that fact makes it a little weirder to process everything you are feeling.

Anyway, this isn't an easy thing to make happen for those who would like to. Its difficult and it has to be approved by the state after multiple doctors sign off on it. It's only legal in a few states and he claimed that he was number 183 or something like that to do it. So counting this girl, its probably less than 200 people who have done this in the US.

My opinion...?

The only reason its allowed is for a terminally ill patient to skip the last stage of extreme and persistent pain. So its irrelevant if they do it anyway, as most have 1-2-3 weeks maximum anyway.

It should be made easier than that, when I realized it was time for my dog to not suffer anymore I called the vet, an hour later he showed up, and within minutes the dog was gone. We shouldn't have to go through a ton of bureaucracy, all that should be required is that medical records be produced that state the person is terminally ill, once a person is terminal they should have the right to die when they choose, not wait until it's right down to the wire.

At least 20 years ago I watched a documentary on the Dutch medical system that has legalized euthanasia, the documentary followed a middle aged man with ALS and his decision to be euthanized for about a year, the scene where the doctor arrived at the man's apartment and then through the suicide was surreal to watch. Moreso because he wasn't in terrible pain or anything, his death was not that imminent but he had decided he didn't want to go through any more.

My dad died of cancer, the last 2 weeks were terrible, doctors don't tell patients or families what the end will be like, most people don't want to ask. We hope it's like the movies where somebody just grows weaker and weaker and then they just stop breathing. There was a best selling book called How We Die i think by a Harvard doctor that describes the dying process in great detail for different diseases. A friend of mine bought it, I refused to read it.

[theking]

Originally Posted by TheSquealer

I went through this fairly recently...

A few months back, i went to see my grandfather (80yrs) who had lung cancer and likely less than a month to live. It was bad enough that doctors would not schedule any further appointments with him and just prescribed him enough pain meds to wipe out a small city. I used to live in his area and when i was in town would have dinner with them every Sunday evening just to spend time with them and we often met during the week for lunch. My grandmother had since passed and I had also moved away so I felt horrible about not keeping in touch as I should have. The honest truth is that he'd given up long before that when my grandmother died of Alzheimers and really didn't want to continue on. His life was not only miserable and he was chronically depressed but it was little more than trips to the hospital and waiting on test results, being poked, scraped etc etc etc almost daily. You could tell just by talking to him well before the cancer that he was done.

With the suicide part, he had already scheduled a date to do it and it gave me a week with him, so went to see him and i tried to just stay with him and hang out and talk.

What happened:

Basically, in the states where this is legal, I believe a panel of doctors have to sign off on it and the patient has to be terminal with little to zero time left. It's not an easy thing to do or to qualify for. The only reason they allow it is to skip the last week or two or three of agonizing, around the clock pain of some diseases/cancers before the patient dies. If you think about it, the death certificate needs to say "cause of death - cancer", not "cause of death - suicide" as that would nullify life insurance and have other possible legal consequences regarding the estate and subsequent settlements.

Once the doctors approved it, they approved a prescription which was to be picked up just like any other medication. It was Pentobarbital (the same thing that death row guy woke up from during his execution not too long ago). A guy from a volunteer organization picked it up, brought it to him to help him ingest it.

The day before, the fire chief of his town, police chief and a lot of friends were over and I was a little panicked as i started to think about the practical side of what was about to happen. Who is this "volunteer", "does he have medical training", "what if there si choking and 1/2 of it is spit back up... what the hell are you supposed to do", "what is everyone's obligation in terms of rendering aid if things don't go well" and so on. I asked the fire chief to have paramedics there just to deal with it so that bystanders wouldn't potentially be at risk (good Samaritan laws) and to just verify he had passed.

The fire chief said he wanted to come over with a bunch of people and cook a big breakfast at 7:30 as he'd planned to take this stuff by 10:00am.

A bunch of people came over, we all ate and talked and laughed just like any normal day. Finally, some odd little hippy who definitely did not have any medical training showed up with a little prescription bag. Some people said goodbye and left which was hard to watch. The guy told my grandfather that first he had to take a first medication to prevent vomiting. Then he'd have to wait 30 minutes. My grandfather was super irritated. He was irritated that the guy was 10 minutes late. He was really irritated that he had to wait another 30 minutes for the first meds to kick in. Watching that certainly made it clear that he was ready... not only ready but legitimately anxious to get on with it. You always wonder about people who have accepted their fate like this... walking to the electric chair, about to be beheaded by ISIS or whatever... how calm they are and if its shock or complete acceptance of whats about to happen. Its hard to really understand when you are not in that position, but he had not only completely accepted what was happening but had been anxiously awaiting this moment for a long time. It was a real mind fuck to witness.

In this time, almost everyone said goodbye and left. The few family that were there took a minute alone to say goodbye.

After 30 minutes passed, the volunteer guy poured water into a glass and mixed in the powder. He cautioned my grandfather that it tasted nasty and asked if he wanted to mix with with anything... beer, alcohol, juice or whatever. He said some people just sip it over the course of 10 minutes. My grandfather snatched the glass from his hand and sucked it down like it was a college drinking game. That image was really stunning and surreal.

And that was it. We just sat there and talked like nothing happened. Cracking jokes and then, after watching what felt to be one mind fuck after another and knowing whats going to happen in a matter of minutes right in front of me, something unbelievably surreal happened. There was a girl that lived next door with her family. She was about 20 or so, Vietnamese and had some relationship with my grandfather. The way he spoke, they spent a lot of time together. Anyway, at that moment, she walked up to the door in a kind of panic and with a big sigh of relief upon seeing him sitting there normally in his favorite choir, asked if everything was ok because she saw the cars and the fire chiefs car. To call my grandfather blunt, would be a gross understatement. He told her that he was checking out, right now, at this minute and said "goodbye". You could see the confusion on her face and as she looked around at everyone there, and there faces, you could see on her face that she was guessing what was happening. She hugged him and walked out the door crying and not knowing what to say.

He was just sitting there in his chair. 100% ok. He looked around and let out a big laugh. The fire chief asked "Whats so funny, Walt" and he said "I got all of you to come over here and stare at me"... then his head slowly nodded and in a few seconds it was apparent that he was unconscious. Over the course of about 10 minutes, his breathing got shallower and shallower until it stopped and his heart stopped. Everyone left and I was just sitting there looking at him, dead in his chair.

It was all very hard to process. Not the sad part of losing someone, but hard to process how it had happened. You want to help and you can't. You want to ease the pain and you can't. You want to give that person comfort and you can't. You want to fix it and you can't. No matter what you want or think, he's still going to die in a matter of days anyway, so that fact makes it a little weirder to process everything you are feeling.

Anyway, this isn't an easy thing to make happen for those who would like to. Its difficult and it has to be approved by the state after multiple doctors sign off on it. It's only legal in a few states and he claimed that he was number 183 or something like that to do it. So counting this girl, its probably less than 200 people who have done this in the US.

My opinion...?

The only reason its allowed is for a terminally ill patient to skip the last stage of extreme and persistent pain. So its irrelevant if they do it anyway, as most have 1-2-3 weeks maximum anyway.

Pigshit.

[lock]

Those that choose to die for what ever reason should fact is once dead the legality doesn't matter.

[TheSquealer]

Originally Posted by theking

Pigshit.

Unlike him, you will die alone. You'll have no friends.You'll have no loved ones. You'll be quickly forgotten... and i'm sure many who know and knew you which you've confused for friends and family, will let out a quiet sigh of relief upon hearing the news, remarking that you were nothing but a bitter, lonely asshole who spread nothing but misery and unhappiness where ever you went. You will never be remembered for who you were when you were young. You will be remembered for who you were when you died. A crazy hermit dickhead who hated people because they hated him.

[TheSquealer]

Originally Posted by lock

Those that choose to die for what ever reason should fact is once dead the legality doesn't matter.

It does matter if you nullify a $5,000,000.00 life insurance policy which your heirs will be then deprived of as a result of the act.

[theking]

Originally Posted by TheSquealer

Unlike him, you will die alone. You'll have no friends.You'll have no loved ones. You'll be quickly forgotten... and i'm sure many who know and knew you which you've confused for friends and family, will let out a quiet sigh of relief upon hearing the news, remarking that you were nothing but a bitter, lonely asshole who spread nothing but misery and unhappiness where ever you went. You will never be remembered for who you were when you were young. You will be remembered for who you were when you died. A crazy hermit dickhead who hated people because they hated him.

Just more of your baseless psycho babbling pigshit. You seem to think that you are smart...but you really are not.

[BlackCrayon]

after watching my mother in law lose the ability to do the even smallest things for herself from dementia....i think this should definitely be an option. she couldn't dress herself, eat, use the washroom and almost never knew where she was. getting infection after infection, watching her be so scared and usually crying because she is so confused and lost.

in her case she never would of had the option because she wasn't of sound mind. eventually she died in her sleep after months of being in a hospital and a decade of watching her get worse and worse. we all knew she would never choose to live the way she did in her last years. should a power of attorney have the say in a case where a person is not of sound mind? its hard to say but the people suffering who aren't capable of making decisions need an option too.

[TheSquealer]

Originally Posted by theking

Just more of your baseless psycho babbling pigshit. You seem to think that you are smart...but you really are not.

Nothing baseless about anything i've said. You're bitter. You're angry. You hate people and people hate you. You're own family doesn't talk to you (something you've stated) and you prefer solitude in spite of the fact that we as a species, are hyper-social. You haven't had sex in 10 years, according to you. You will die alone and miserable. Only a seriously deluded mind could predict any other outcome for you. I don't dislike you. I pity you. A life going to waste and being lost to bitterness and depression.

[TheSquealer]

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

.

in her case she never would of had the option because she wasn't of sound mind. eventually she died in her sleep after months of being in a hospital and a decade of watching her get worse and worse. we all knew she would never choose to live the way she did in her last years. should a power of attorney have the say in a case where a person is not of sound mind? its hard to say but the people suffering who aren't capable of making decisions need an option too.

The issue with that is what is known as a "Ulysses Contract" where you are in one state of mind and trying to bind yourself to a firm idea of what you'll want in future state of mind. Every 18 year old would likely say when asked they would not want to live as a quadriplegic. However, they won't likely feel that way if that moment came and will often find new resolve and determination to make the best of it. So just because someone says they will want something in the future, does not mean they will actually want it when the time comes.

The rules and laws and safeguards in situations like what you are describing are really there to primarily deal with this dilemma.

[pornmasta]

Originally Posted by TheSquealer

Unlike him, you will die alone. You'll have no friends.You'll have no loved ones. You'll be quickly forgotten... and i'm sure many who know and knew you which you've confused for friends and family, will let out a quiet sigh of relief upon hearing the news, remarking that you were nothing but a bitter, lonely asshole who spread nothing but misery and unhappiness where ever you went. You will never be remembered for who you were when you were young. You will be remembered for who you were when you died. A crazy hermit dickhead who hated people because they hated him.

Well, this could be my own description...

[theking]

Originally Posted by TheSquealer

Nothing baseless about anything i've said. You're bitter. You're angry. You hate people and people hate you. You're own family doesn't talk to you (something you've stated) and you prefer solitude in spite of the fact that we as a species, are hyper-social. You haven't had sex in 10 years, according to you. You will die alone and miserable. Only a seriously deluded mind could predict any other outcome for you. I don't dislike you. I pity you. A life going to waste and being lost to bitterness and depression.

Not only are you full of psycho babbling pigshit...ypu are also a liar. You stated..."You're own family doesn't talk to you (something you've stated)"...which is a lie. I do not have any family ass wipe...and haven't had any family for the majority of my life. When I choose to die my family name dies with me.

I will die alone by my choice...and it has been well planned for many years. It has been a battle each day since '91 to choose to live...as I live 24/7 in mind numbing...agonizing...pain. Every waking day I have to convince myself to postpone the inevitable and live another day.

Everything that I have done or do is by choice...sport. I am not a big fan of the human animal and try for minimal contact. I have engaged in combat in Granada...Panama...and the first Gulf War. In fact I was among the first 2500 troops to be sent to Saudi Arabia during Desert Shield. I have seen the human animal at its worst. Read it...learn it...know it.

By the way I studied Psychology also when I was attending University.

[EddyTheDog]

Originally Posted by theking

...By the way I studied Psychology also when I was attending University.

As well as what?..

[PR_Glen]

Originally Posted by Jel

the people who kill themselves for the reason's you state are still going to kill themselves anyway, regardless of whether the terminally ill do or don't. Rationale for those people is gone, and whether it's 'hip' or not doesn't even come into it. People who commit suicide due to depression do it for vastly different reasons, the two don't even compare, nor cross over in the slightest.

Yes they do. It wouldnt' if she chose to just shut up and do it--but she chose to plaster it all over the news for over a MONTH. Very few would have any issue with the act in this case itself. Nobody needs to hear about it for a month before that though. Reasons for suicide can be a slippery slope and pretending that 'they will do it anyway' is purely wishful thinking and an excuse not to help others in need.