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Old 05-11-2012, 12:54 PM   #1
HushMoney
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My Flip Phone Can Beat the Crap Out of Your iPhone

A funny story for currently sober:

People give me a lot of crap because I have one of those old-school flip phones. I recognize that I am living in the mid-2000s and I should have a man phone like an iPhone or Droid or something. Shouldn?t I be asking for one for Christmas? The answer is an emphatic no. You see, my flip phone could beat up your iPhone any day of the freakin? week. Check this example.



A few months ago I had just come back from a fun weekend vacation with the family. We had an amazing time soaking up the sun and had enjoyed many delicious foods. One of those foods had done a number on my stomach, so I was feeling a little bit loose that morning. You know the feeling. Everything is a bit squishy inside you and when you approach a fart there is a slight burn and solid feeling that tickles your anus. I was feeling trepidations about farting, but I was also tired from traveling and just didn?t feel like getting out of bed just to safely sit on the toilet and fart. So I did a small test. I slowly leaned to the right and opened up my anus just enough to let a slight bubble out.



Phew. All clear. No diarrhea. With that I cocked the hammer and braced myself for a bed rattling fart. Upon doing so, I instantly felt the spray up my back and down my crack. I had literally squeezed out a cup full of crap. I immediately flipped on my stomach and checked the bed. Fortunately there had been no soak through yet and the sheets were safe. I hurried and stripped down and soaked my shorts and underwear in the tub and then threw it in the washing machine.



Later, while drying the pants, I noticed that the dryer was making a crazy rattling noise. So I stopped it and took out my shorts, only to discover that I had my flip phone in there. I hurried and took the battery out and put everything in a bowl of rice, but I figured there was no hope. The phone had gone through a whole wash and dry cycle and water was everywhere in the screen.



Well, I was wrong. The phone worked and for quite a while after that. If an iPhone even gets near moisture it breaks. And that is why I?ll stick to my flip phone.



Original Story Here
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:58 PM   #2
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Plenty of stories of smart phones being dropped, placed it rice, and started working again.
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:00 PM   #3
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I'm returning my iPhone. I need a phone I can wash on hot.
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:07 PM   #4
Jim_Gunn
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It's not the mid-2000's anymore, and dumb flip phones are an inefficient use of modern day technology no matter how much washing they can take, lol.
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:10 PM   #5
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most graphic approach to "I put my phone through the wash" ever, ha
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:11 PM   #6
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why trying to please him? starts with poo and ends with poo. Nothing else to say.
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:46 PM   #7
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But you can't play Draw Something, Scramble, Hanging with Friends and Words with friends so your flip phone = fail.
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:02 PM   #8
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There are loads of iPhones that have survived the same fate

http://www.alexloveseverything.com/2...er-iphone.html
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:15 PM   #9
brentbacardi
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The REAL way flip phones beat iphone/androids is that their battery life lasts over a full day.
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:57 PM   #10
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Did you come back from the dead? I have not heard from your program in years lol

Welcome back
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:01 PM   #11
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Your phone is Filipino?
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:17 PM   #12
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Awesome story until you got to the part about the phone!
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:06 PM   #13
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most graphic approach to "I put my phone through the wash" ever, ha
that's what we were thinking, good nonetheless
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:12 PM   #14
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The nurse laughed at me yesterday when I pulled out my Samsung flip phone.she said she never seen such a antique..thing is only about 6 years old..I'm not buying some fancy smancy I phone or a smart phone just for phone calls
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:28 PM   #15
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The REAL way flip phones beat iphone/androids is that their battery life lasts over a full day.
true.. i gotta charge my phone about once a week (its on 24/7).. gf with android phone every day.
dont have a flip phone though but it is a 'normal' phone

Last edited by nico-t; 05-11-2012 at 06:29 PM..
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:41 PM   #16
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Ok, the flip phone was great in this instance-- but what about the other 23 hours a day when you're not shitting all over yourself like a mental patient and accidentally putting your phone in the wash? Can you use navigation? can you play games or listen to music, or watch movies? No.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:14 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HushMoney View Post
A funny story for currently sober:

People give me a lot of crap because I have one of those old-school flip phones. I recognize that I am living in the mid-2000s and I should have a man phone like an iPhone or Droid or something. Shouldn?t I be asking for one for Christmas? The answer is an emphatic no. You see, my flip phone could beat up your iPhone any day of the freakin? week. Check this example.



A few months ago I had just come back from a fun weekend vacation with the family. We had an amazing time soaking up the sun and had enjoyed many delicious foods. One of those foods had done a number on my stomach, so I was feeling a little bit loose that morning. You know the feeling. Everything is a bit squishy inside you and when you approach a fart there is a slight burn and solid feeling that tickles your anus. I was feeling trepidations about farting, but I was also tired from traveling and just didn?t feel like getting out of bed just to safely sit on the toilet and fart. So I did a small test. I slowly leaned to the right and opened up my anus just enough to let a slight bubble out.



Phew. All clear. No diarrhea. With that I cocked the hammer and braced myself for a bed rattling fart. Upon doing so, I instantly felt the spray up my back and down my crack. I had literally squeezed out a cup full of crap. I immediately flipped on my stomach and checked the bed. Fortunately there had been no soak through yet and the sheets were safe. I hurried and stripped down and soaked my shorts and underwear in the tub and then threw it in the washing machine.



Later, while drying the pants, I noticed that the dryer was making a crazy rattling noise. So I stopped it and took out my shorts, only to discover that I had my flip phone in there. I hurried and took the battery out and put everything in a bowl of rice, but I figured there was no hope. The phone had gone through a whole wash and dry cycle and water was everywhere in the screen.



Well, I was wrong. The phone worked and for quite a while after that. If an iPhone even gets near moisture it breaks. And that is why I?ll stick to my flip phone.



Original Story Here
Couldn't you have just said you found your phone in the dryer and leave out all the rest? Eww.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:35 PM   #18
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Old 05-12-2012, 03:51 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HushMoney View Post
A funny story for currently sober:

People give me a lot of crap because I have one of those old-school flip phones. I recognize that I am living in the mid-2000s and I should have a man phone like an iPhone or Droid or something. Shouldn?t I be asking for one for Christmas? The answer is an emphatic no. You see, my flip phone could beat up your iPhone any day of the freakin? week. Check this example.



A few months ago I had just come back from a fun weekend vacation with the family. We had an amazing time soaking up the sun and had enjoyed many delicious foods. One of those foods had done a number on my stomach, so I was feeling a little bit loose that morning. You know the feeling. Everything is a bit squishy inside you and when you approach a fart there is a slight burn and solid feeling that tickles your anus. I was feeling trepidations about farting, but I was also tired from traveling and just didn?t feel like getting out of bed just to safely sit on the toilet and fart. So I did a small test. I slowly leaned to the right and opened up my anus just enough to let a slight bubble out.



Phew. All clear. No diarrhea. With that I cocked the hammer and braced myself for a bed rattling fart. Upon doing so, I instantly felt the spray up my back and down my crack. I had literally squeezed out a cup full of crap. I immediately flipped on my stomach and checked the bed. Fortunately there had been no soak through yet and the sheets were safe. I hurried and stripped down and soaked my shorts and underwear in the tub and then threw it in the washing machine.



Later, while drying the pants, I noticed that the dryer was making a crazy rattling noise. So I stopped it and took out my shorts, only to discover that I had my flip phone in there. I hurried and took the battery out and put everything in a bowl of rice, but I figured there was no hope. The phone had gone through a whole wash and dry cycle and water was everywhere in the screen.



Well, I was wrong. The phone worked and for quite a while after that. If an iPhone even gets near moisture it breaks. And that is why I?ll stick to my flip phone.



Original Story Here
Obvious moral to the story: if you still own a flip phone...you must be full of shit?
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Old 05-12-2012, 05:07 AM   #20
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Strange,

all these people with Smart Phones volunteering happily to have their every waking move monitored and logged, then bragging about it and making fun of people who don't follow along.
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Old 05-12-2012, 06:47 AM   #21
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I still have a flip phone. A Motorola Tundra. Until that phone, I would break them within a few months. That thing was designed to be abused. 3 years old now and still going strong, even after getting pissed off and throwing it into a wall.
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Old 05-12-2012, 07:00 AM   #22
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most graphic approach to "I put my phone through the wash" ever, ha
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:16 AM   #23
HushMoney
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Did you come back from the dead? I have not heard from your program in years lol

Welcome back
Thanks! but....

We never left.
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Old 05-12-2012, 09:23 AM   #24
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I agree,my old phones took much more abuse and were fine.
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