My Flip Phone Can Beat the Crap Out of Your iPhone - GoFuckYourself.com

HushMoney · 05-11-2012, 12:54 PM

A funny story for currently sober:

People give me a lot of crap because I have one of those old-school flip phones. I recognize that I am living in the mid-2000s and I should have a man phone like an iPhone or Droid or something. Shouldn?t I be asking for one for Christmas? The answer is an emphatic no. You see, my flip phone could beat up your iPhone any day of the freakin? week. Check this example.

A few months ago I had just come back from a fun weekend vacation with the family. We had an amazing time soaking up the sun and had enjoyed many delicious foods. One of those foods had done a number on my stomach, so I was feeling a little bit loose that morning. You know the feeling. Everything is a bit squishy inside you and when you approach a fart there is a slight burn and solid feeling that tickles your anus. I was feeling trepidations about farting, but I was also tired from traveling and just didn?t feel like getting out of bed just to safely sit on the toilet and fart. So I did a small test. I slowly leaned to the right and opened up my anus just enough to let a slight bubble out.

Phew. All clear. No diarrhea. With that I cocked the hammer and braced myself for a bed rattling fart. Upon doing so, I instantly felt the spray up my back and down my crack. I had literally squeezed out a cup full of crap. I immediately flipped on my stomach and checked the bed. Fortunately there had been no soak through yet and the sheets were safe. I hurried and stripped down and soaked my shorts and underwear in the tub and then threw it in the washing machine.

Later, while drying the pants, I noticed that the dryer was making a crazy rattling noise. So I stopped it and took out my shorts, only to discover that I had my flip phone in there. I hurried and took the battery out and put everything in a bowl of rice, but I figured there was no hope. The phone had gone through a whole wash and dry cycle and water was everywhere in the screen.

Well, I was wrong. The phone worked and for quite a while after that. If an iPhone even gets near moisture it breaks. And that is why I?ll stick to my flip phone.

Original Story Here

Choopa Phil · 05-11-2012, 12:58 PM

Plenty of stories of smart phones being dropped, placed it rice, and started working again.

xenigo · 05-11-2012, 01:00 PM

I'm returning my iPhone. I need a phone I can wash on hot.

Jim_Gunn · 05-11-2012, 01:07 PM

It's not the mid-2000's anymore, and dumb flip phones are an inefficient use of modern day technology no matter how much washing they can take, lol.

Dugan · 05-11-2012, 01:10 PM

most graphic approach to "I put my phone through the wash" ever, ha

grumpy · 05-11-2012, 01:11 PM

why trying to please him? starts with poo and ends with poo. Nothing else to say.

NaughtyRob · 05-11-2012, 01:46 PM

But you can't play Draw Something, Scramble, Hanging with Friends and Words with friends so your flip phone = fail.

DamianJ · 05-11-2012, 02:02 PM

There are loads of iPhones that have survived the same fate

http://www.alexloveseverything.com/2...er-iphone.html

brentbacardi · 05-11-2012, 02:15 PM

The REAL way flip phones beat iphone/androids is that their battery life lasts over a full day.

BareBacked · 05-11-2012, 02:57 PM

Did you come back from the dead? I have not heard from your program in years lol

Welcome back

iSpyCams · 05-11-2012, 03:01 PM

Your phone is Filipino?

sleazydoesit · 05-11-2012, 03:17 PM

Awesome story until you got to the part about the phone!

waltgator · 05-11-2012, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dugan

most graphic approach to "I put my phone through the wash" ever, ha

that's what we were thinking, good nonetheless

Spunky · 05-11-2012, 06:12 PM

The nurse laughed at me yesterday when I pulled out my Samsung flip phone.she said she never seen such a antique..thing is only about 6 years old..I'm not buying some fancy smancy I phone or a smart phone just for phone calls

nico-t · 05-11-2012, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brentbacardi

The REAL way flip phones beat iphone/androids is that their battery life lasts over a full day.

true.. i gotta charge my phone about once a week (its on 24/7).. gf with android phone every day.
dont have a flip phone though but it is a 'normal' phone

bronco67 · 05-11-2012, 06:41 PM

Ok, the flip phone was great in this instance-- but what about the other 23 hours a day when you're not shitting all over yourself like a mental patient and accidentally putting your phone in the wash? Can you use navigation? can you play games or listen to music, or watch movies? No.

2MuchMark · 05-11-2012, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HushMoney

A funny story for currently sober:

People give me a lot of crap because I have one of those old-school flip phones. I recognize that I am living in the mid-2000s and I should have a man phone like an iPhone or Droid or something. Shouldn?t I be asking for one for Christmas? The answer is an emphatic no. You see, my flip phone could beat up your iPhone any day of the freakin? week. Check this example.

A few months ago I had just come back from a fun weekend vacation with the family. We had an amazing time soaking up the sun and had enjoyed many delicious foods. One of those foods had done a number on my stomach, so I was feeling a little bit loose that morning. You know the feeling. Everything is a bit squishy inside you and when you approach a fart there is a slight burn and solid feeling that tickles your anus. I was feeling trepidations about farting, but I was also tired from traveling and just didn?t feel like getting out of bed just to safely sit on the toilet and fart. So I did a small test. I slowly leaned to the right and opened up my anus just enough to let a slight bubble out.

Phew. All clear. No diarrhea. With that I cocked the hammer and braced myself for a bed rattling fart. Upon doing so, I instantly felt the spray up my back and down my crack. I had literally squeezed out a cup full of crap. I immediately flipped on my stomach and checked the bed. Fortunately there had been no soak through yet and the sheets were safe. I hurried and stripped down and soaked my shorts and underwear in the tub and then threw it in the washing machine.

Later, while drying the pants, I noticed that the dryer was making a crazy rattling noise. So I stopped it and took out my shorts, only to discover that I had my flip phone in there. I hurried and took the battery out and put everything in a bowl of rice, but I figured there was no hope. The phone had gone through a whole wash and dry cycle and water was everywhere in the screen.

Well, I was wrong. The phone worked and for quite a while after that. If an iPhone even gets near moisture it breaks. And that is why I?ll stick to my flip phone.

Original Story Here

Couldn't you have just said you found your phone in the dryer and leave out all the rest? Eww.

barcodes · 05-11-2012, 11:35 PM

SilentKnight · 05-12-2012, 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HushMoney

A funny story for currently sober:

People give me a lot of crap because I have one of those old-school flip phones. I recognize that I am living in the mid-2000s and I should have a man phone like an iPhone or Droid or something. Shouldn?t I be asking for one for Christmas? The answer is an emphatic no. You see, my flip phone could beat up your iPhone any day of the freakin? week. Check this example.

A few months ago I had just come back from a fun weekend vacation with the family. We had an amazing time soaking up the sun and had enjoyed many delicious foods. One of those foods had done a number on my stomach, so I was feeling a little bit loose that morning. You know the feeling. Everything is a bit squishy inside you and when you approach a fart there is a slight burn and solid feeling that tickles your anus. I was feeling trepidations about farting, but I was also tired from traveling and just didn?t feel like getting out of bed just to safely sit on the toilet and fart. So I did a small test. I slowly leaned to the right and opened up my anus just enough to let a slight bubble out.

Phew. All clear. No diarrhea. With that I cocked the hammer and braced myself for a bed rattling fart. Upon doing so, I instantly felt the spray up my back and down my crack. I had literally squeezed out a cup full of crap. I immediately flipped on my stomach and checked the bed. Fortunately there had been no soak through yet and the sheets were safe. I hurried and stripped down and soaked my shorts and underwear in the tub and then threw it in the washing machine.

Later, while drying the pants, I noticed that the dryer was making a crazy rattling noise. So I stopped it and took out my shorts, only to discover that I had my flip phone in there. I hurried and took the battery out and put everything in a bowl of rice, but I figured there was no hope. The phone had gone through a whole wash and dry cycle and water was everywhere in the screen.

Well, I was wrong. The phone worked and for quite a while after that. If an iPhone even gets near moisture it breaks. And that is why I?ll stick to my flip phone.

Original Story Here

Obvious moral to the story: if you still own a flip phone...you must be full of shit?

Diomed · 05-12-2012, 05:07 AM

Strange,

all these people with Smart Phones volunteering happily to have their every waking move monitored and logged, then bragging about it and making fun of people who don't follow along.

junction · 05-12-2012, 06:47 AM

I still have a flip phone. A Motorola Tundra. Until that phone, I would break them within a few months. That thing was designed to be abused. 3 years old now and still going strong, even after getting pissed off and throwing it into a wall.

martinsc · 05-12-2012, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dugan

most graphic approach to "I put my phone through the wash" ever, ha

HushMoney · 05-12-2012, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BareBacked

Did you come back from the dead? I have not heard from your program in years lol

Welcome back

Thanks! but....

We never left.

tony286 · 05-12-2012, 09:23 AM

I agree,my old phones took much more abuse and were fine.

05-11-2012, 12:54 PM	#1
HushMoney Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Hermosa Beach & Miami, FL. Posts: 2,256	My Flip Phone Can Beat the Crap Out of Your iPhone A funny story for currently sober: People give me a lot of crap because I have one of those old-school flip phones. I recognize that I am living in the mid-2000s and I should have a man phone like an iPhone or Droid or something. Shouldn?t I be asking for one for Christmas? The answer is an emphatic no. You see, my flip phone could beat up your iPhone any day of the freakin? week. Check this example. A few months ago I had just come back from a fun weekend vacation with the family. We had an amazing time soaking up the sun and had enjoyed many delicious foods. One of those foods had done a number on my stomach, so I was feeling a little bit loose that morning. You know the feeling. Everything is a bit squishy inside you and when you approach a fart there is a slight burn and solid feeling that tickles your anus. I was feeling trepidations about farting, but I was also tired from traveling and just didn?t feel like getting out of bed just to safely sit on the toilet and fart. So I did a small test. I slowly leaned to the right and opened up my anus just enough to let a slight bubble out. Phew. All clear. No diarrhea. With that I cocked the hammer and braced myself for a bed rattling fart. Upon doing so, I instantly felt the spray up my back and down my crack. I had literally squeezed out a cup full of crap. I immediately flipped on my stomach and checked the bed. Fortunately there had been no soak through yet and the sheets were safe. I hurried and stripped down and soaked my shorts and underwear in the tub and then threw it in the washing machine. Later, while drying the pants, I noticed that the dryer was making a crazy rattling noise. So I stopped it and took out my shorts, only to discover that I had my flip phone in there. I hurried and took the battery out and put everything in a bowl of rice, but I figured there was no hope. The phone had gone through a whole wash and dry cycle and water was everywhere in the screen. Well, I was wrong. The phone worked and for quite a while after that. If an iPhone even gets near moisture it breaks. And that is why I?ll stick to my flip phone. Original Story Here __________________ Hushmoney.com Interracialpass Hushpass

05-11-2012, 12:58 PM	#2
Choopa Phil Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 3,965	Plenty of stories of smart phones being dropped, placed it rice, and started working again. __________________ AIM - Choopa Phil Email - [email protected] A World Wide Leader In Hosting! * CHOOPA.COM *

05-11-2012, 01:11 PM	#6
grumpy Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Holland Posts: 9,870	why trying to please him? starts with poo and ends with poo. Nothing else to say. __________________ Don't let greediness blur your vision \| You gotta let some shit slide icq - 441-456-888

05-11-2012, 01:46 PM	#7
NaughtyRob Two fresh affiliate progs Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Inside teen pussy Posts: 29,602	But you can't play Draw Something, Scramble, Hanging with Friends and Words with friends so your flip phone = fail. __________________ [email protected] Skype: 17026955414 Vacares Web Hosting - Protect Your Ass with Included Daily Backups

05-11-2012, 02:15 PM	#9
brentbacardi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1,425	The REAL way flip phones beat iphone/androids is that their battery life lasts over a full day. __________________ Go Fuck Yourself!

05-11-2012, 01:00 PM	#3
xenigo Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 8,067	I'm returning my iPhone. I need a phone I can wash on hot.

05-11-2012, 01:07 PM	#4
Jim_Gunn Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Where The Teens Are Posts: 5,702	It's not the mid-2000's anymore, and dumb flip phones are an inefficient use of modern day technology no matter how much washing they can take, lol.

05-11-2012, 01:10 PM	#5
Dugan Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Online Posts: 856	most graphic approach to "I put my phone through the wash" ever, ha

05-11-2012, 02:02 PM	#8
DamianJ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A magical land Posts: 15,808	There are loads of iPhones that have survived the same fate http://www.alexloveseverything.com/2...er-iphone.html

05-11-2012, 02:57 PM	#10
BareBacked Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: www.BareBacked.com Posts: 3,685	Did you come back from the dead? I have not heard from your program in years lol Welcome back __________________ NEW SITE PAYING $30 for a $1 TRIAL Selfies

05-11-2012, 03:01 PM	#11
iSpyCams Amateur Gynecologist Industry Role: Join Date: May 2009 Location: Medellin Posts: 4,436	Your phone is Filipino?

05-11-2012, 03:17 PM	#12
sleazydoesit Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2011 Location: Seoul, Korea Posts: 343	Awesome story until you got to the part about the phone!

05-11-2012, 06:12 PM	#14
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	The nurse laughed at me yesterday when I pulled out my Samsung flip phone.she said she never seen such a antique..thing is only about 6 years old..I'm not buying some fancy smancy I phone or a smart phone just for phone calls __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

05-11-2012, 06:41 PM	#16
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,032	Ok, the flip phone was great in this instance-- but what about the other 23 hours a day when you're not shitting all over yourself like a mental patient and accidentally putting your phone in the wash? Can you use navigation? can you play games or listen to music, or watch movies? No. __________________ Last edited by bronco67; 05-11-2012 at 06:43 PM..

05-11-2012, 11:35 PM	#18
barcodes Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Florida Posts: 2,040

05-12-2012, 05:07 AM	#20
Diomed Converting like it's 1999 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: The South Posts: 6,167	Strange, all these people with Smart Phones volunteering happily to have their every waking move monitored and logged, then bragging about it and making fun of people who don't follow along. __________________ 10 years of experience in: CHAT SALES - PAID TRAFFIC - CONVERSION - CREATIVES - CONSULTATION

05-12-2012, 06:47 AM	#21
junction Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Midwest Posts: 2,411	I still have a flip phone. A Motorola Tundra. Until that phone, I would break them within a few months. That thing was designed to be abused. 3 years old now and still going strong, even after getting pissed off and throwing it into a wall.

05-12-2012, 09:23 AM	#24
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	I agree,my old phones took much more abuse and were fine.