Awwww Hope you had a little fun with him.

If you spank your child would it be a surprise to anyone if she shows up at your local tube site's spanking section?

Read this book Parent Effectiveness Training

My kid is about 1.5 and just started with her tantrums. It's going to be a rough next couple years. ugh. lol

I would hug him and ask if he is tired from working so hard on the great eggs he made and if wanted to take a quick rest "nap" before lunch.

this thread is very enlightening.

you ever been to Spain, you get little kids at 3 in the morning wandering about with their parents. They just let them sleep it off the next day.

nope, going to wait for Paul Markham's book on parenting :2 cents:

Agreed!

I always looked down on spanking, but now I'm looking at it differently. My little girl is only 2 and to young for it, but she's definitely in the terrible 2 stage.

One key piece of advise I recently received from my doctor: "Everything is a phase they'll grow out of"

hope you got drunk yelled, smashed the eggs, gave the an easter to remember.

Yea, I thought the same way. Thought it was just a phase. Then 2 turned to 3 and it got worse. But the Beauty of 3 she now understands things better.


At 3, i really tried to make the "time outs" work, but without understanding that there are more severe consequences than a "time out," my daughter went on her marry way doing what she wanted. It really sucked.


Then a few friends explained to me how and when to use spankings. Made sense. The I tried it and it worked wonders.


For you people that think a spanking and hiting your kids is the same thing, keep my "Spankings" in prospective:


Now I will try using "time outs" in conjunction with spankings. I feel that the "time outs" will work better now that my daughter knows whats next. But i think that "time outs" don't do shit at 3 years old with out the understanding that a spanking is next.:2 cents:

the people comparing hitting and spanking most likely dont have kids and on the holy horse...

Obviously not all... but thats what I have to say bout that/..

Well said man...my little guy is certainly going to need a few attitude corrections.
there are proper ways to do things, i should do some more reading, id like to not be setting up a negotiations framework with him.

Damn skippy I do too - if we consider spanking "hitting."

Kids need an ass beating nowadays, too many lax parents.

My son is 5, and what works for us is "choices". I give him 2 choices and the consequences that come with each choice, and give him 5 minutes to decide what his choice will be. He usually chooses the right thing, otherwise he deals with the consequences.

Right now he's got 1 month without his WII because he refused to apologize to a little boy he crashed into. It was an accident and both their faults, but my son was the bigger boy and he needed to apologize. Since he refused, we are now enjoying a month without Super Mario.

I have spanked him a few times in the past, but I hate doing it and I think it hurts me more than it hurts me. Even though, I do believe that a spanking at the right moment will save you years of heartache later on.

We did military punishment ... at six months old I had them standing in the corner. At one year, they had their hands above their head on tippy toes in a corner. It slowly progressed and my favorites were cans and chairs. Cans would require two cans of big baked beans, one can in each hand, hold out arms for two minutes. Chairs, they had to stand with back up against the wall and sit like a chair. Burned their legs like a mother. Then it was pushups, etc. That worked, well.

Wow... Some great comments and suggestions here. Where were you all when my kids were two?

Glad you chose the family, Dave. My dad was an abusive drunk and eventually he became a recovering alcoholic for life. Both of my siblings have a harder time with life than I do. Both went the way of drugs and alcohol themselves and are now both recovering for life...

Like you I chose to be the opposite of my father and it has worked out great... except for the fact that we are both pretty much the same now that he doesn't drink?

As for spanking and counting to three. I spanked my son early on and then realized I personally had gotten used to the pain of spankings by the age of 5. It no longer worked because I figured 20 to 30 whacks from somebody that was drunk was not that bad... kind of sad in retrospect. I built up a pain tolerance for spanking, but more importantly, I also built up a tolerance to my father's cool regard for me. I think the mental part is worse...

So after watching many different shows from Super Nanny to Dr. Phil I quickly reversed direction and went the way of Due (replier on page #1). I quit counting and if you did something wrong we just went straight to punishment. No negotiation what so ever. But often just saying something was unacceptable and telling them what their next punishment would be is enough. Mainly because they know there won't be negotiation... They will just instantly receive their punishment whatever it may be.

I got a buddy of mine name Ralph and he is VERY old school. He reminds me of my Grandpa. When he suggests under his breath that his kids should take out the trash they instantly get up and do it. If they don't he starts walking over to them and they instantly get up and do it.

I am sure his punishment is a spanking that is much harder than I ever got it myself. And guess what? He only has to do it about once every 3 to 5 years... His kids are in their teens now and I have to say... they behave!

Unfortunately my daughters were born to a different dad. ie, we are a Brady Bunch... Unlike the Brady's though, our kids other parents are still in the picture. So they both got with guys that are like their dad and feel sorry for their dad who's life is like a country song...

BTW, my grandson had a great time... I took out the blowup pools and water works stuff and stripped him down and threw him in... about 5 minutes in the water and he forgot he was tired... Luckily we had some sun for about an hour...

Great advice.:thumbsup

Will move into that when my daughter turns 4.

Your kids walked at 6 Months? And stayed in one place? Typo maybe?


My boy is 8 months, he can stand when holding something, but wont stay.



But I do dig the military punishment thing.:thumbsup

take advantage of this infrequent opportunity.
If you're allowed to tell ANYONE how to raise their kids, it's YOUR kids.

I want to say it was 6 months because I remember being in an airport traveling back to NY and my mother totally disagreed with our method especially at such a young age. I could be off, but I know we started it before they were walking and that was 11 months.

We picked them up and took them over, placed them in the corner and stood there with my hand on their head or back to "put" them in the corner.

I will not hold back in public either, I've made them do pushups in the middle of the walkway in Disney World. When they were much younger we'd get a lot of looks and comments. The airport incident mentioned above had one lady glaring at me with evilness then five minutes later a lady walks by "good for you, tell my daughter to do the same."

I don't understand. How is spanking a child not the same as hitting a child? You just caved in to the cycle of abuse, sorry to say.

Hitting a child says violence is a way to solve problems. Period.

I have two kids. Neither has ever been in a school yard fight. Neither has discipline problems. Neither has ever been spanked.

Terrible Twos is just a child learning how to assert his or her self in the world. Listening to them and addressing the simple stuff that they are usually demanding, "I need food", "I need sleep", "I need love" solves the problem and promotes only good love, without the cruelty of corporal punishments, and a much deeper respect than one generated out of fear.

imo... :2 cents::thumbsup

Yea but you have to admit... youre a savant... and im sure the genes flow...

:thumbsup



EDIT - Wrong word but I hope you get my drift...

it might be possible to walk a tightrope over the grand canyon

if so, i think you might be able to do it

i've never seen someone ride the fence quite as well ;)

Asserting herself over food, sleep or attention is understandable and doesn't need punishment.
However, if it's a safety matter that could hurt her or her sister followed by a tantrum because you ask her not to. That's an entirely different matter.

nice to see so many parents beat their kids here. an uplifting holiday thread.

disturbing indeed

Bill Cosby lol

https://youtube.com/watch?v=eaUx80JGI0U

Yeah but if it is a safety matter, i.e., one child is harming another, playing with something dangerous, walking into traffic, whatever... then "no" is fine and I still say hitting someone to make them understand "no" is not necessarily constructive to handling the situation.

Every moment a parent spends with his or her child is a lesson learned so why not teach rationality through reasoning rather than through violence? Hitting a child only teaches fear and sure, fear is an easy way to control people, especially children, but how on earth is that a good thing for future members of a civil society?

im not quite sure what this means...

Let me elaborate on what I said though in case it was misunderstood.

By savant i meant intellectually advanced. Far-L has always seemed like a smarter than normal person and even better, putting those smarts to use. Im sure in his household he can talk his kid into and out of anything with logic and im going to bet his kids are more advanced than the normal youngster.

Savant was the wrong word to use. But thats also why I threw in the edit and small explaination without changing the original word.

So we should punish all people in out society without violence? Just by simply telling them no?

I know a death row inmate is much different than a 3 year old. But, punishing spankings are not abuse... unless of course its a beating.

I dont know how you all were or were not spanked or how hard you think a spanking is... but by spank I personally am talking about an abrasive pat. no red marks, no pain. Its just a stern reprimand when "no" dosnt work with the same effect just a little more serious.

like i said though, to each their own... as long as the kid is not in any physical harm.

The problem with society is that someone at the top has to run it and has to run it right. There can be no break in the shit as it rolls downwards... It must touch everyone down the line. One miss and you end up with a murderer... Then a vigilante... Then you now need a guard... and things just unravel...

good thread.. the girlfriend and i are going to start having kids soon and there is so much to consider in raising them, its mind boggling, to me at least.

Thanks for the compliment but I know like most everyone else I fall on the idiot side of things way more than the savant side. Can't help that...

I grew up with spankings; par for the course with parents of my generation. Just because they did it didn't make it right or society better - just like it didn't make it any better for people of the "Greatest Generation" which let's face it is just a literary fallacy and conceit. I don't care if it doesn't leave a physical mark. It leaves a psychological one. Undeniably it reinforces the idea that violence or the threat of it is the way to solve problems.

For the record though; using a death row inmate probably is not the greatest example... do you realize statistically how many of them were abused as children?

You do realize that is pretty much the argument for fascism right?

Why do you think they called it the "Fatherland"?

I agree a lot of those kids needs more discipline in their life, most of the times it's self discipline to the parents to discipline their kids and stay persistant with the way they raise them. Discipline doesn't mean spanking, it means being persistant and following your own rules.

A lot of the kids you are referring to most likely had excessive spanking or other corporal punishments or other mental abuse against them for a longer period of time in their life, the way you turn out in your life is pretty much set during the first 5 years of your life where your personality is formed. Problem kids should be sent to military schools or similar when they turn 13, this way they may have a chance to get back on track and get a good education :winkwink:

All good points.

Perhaps what point im arguing is the wrong one... Ive been arguing the severity of the punishment... maybe i should be arguing the action.

I was a great kid. But sometimes I did some really bad things. Things that could have killed people. I deserved the "spanking" i got. Did I get it for talking back and saying no... of course not...



Tell me this to all the parents out there saying a good talking to is everything you need and not the "who is in charge" punishment...

Say your kid is throwing rocks into oncoming highway traffic or shooting the neighbors cat with a bbgun ( I didnt do this as a kid) or anything of that severity... does your kid not deserve physical punishment? They themselves inflicted potential serious harm.... is a "Youre a bad boy, go to the corner" a sufficient punishment?

To me... that deserves more than an abrasive pat let alone a stern talking to...

To me its not about fear and i never feared my parents after spanking me... I grew respect for authority and order.

I love condoms

I agree children need discipline, structure, no has to mean no, and there needs to be consequences for bad behavior. I just see more positive and constructive ways to achieve that without hitting a child.

If an adult hit another adult the same way, only they were matched in size as a child is to an adult, everyone here would cry foul - unfair fight, bully, etc.

For every child that learns "to be good" because they got spanked there are ten that learned how to take it, harbor a deep fear from it that evolved into a seething hatred, and manifested in all sorts of terrible behaviors.

Totally agree. Seems the acorn hasn't fallen far from the tree.

See thats why I Said what I said about you...

even making me reconsider things...

The most effective punishment to me when I got caught throwing snowballs at cars, breaking neighbors windows we didn't like with rocks, and those kind of juvenile delinquent things that I and so many others did was to make me go and apologize and have to pay for the window or do hard labor. Spanking only made me hate. The other consequences taught me shame, respect, and consideration for my actions. In the end, I think those were better life lessons which I am not painting rosy through any nostalgic afterglow of deciding that my parent were ok after all.

I agree with this also.

Yes... and that is how my humor works...

I have to agree with this. The words you use speaks a lot about the kind of person someone is.

lol, good to know - you were scaring me for a second there... :winkwink:

where were we? where the fuck were you DAD
yo man jus straight up low life craigslist trailer park trash

This thread has made me reconsider my favorite friday night past time... Baby punchin...

Fuckin party poopers

Another thing to remember is everyone is not the same. I personally didn't like being spanked, not beaten as some pussies on here insist on saying..........I didn't like it but 99 times out of a hundred I knew I deserved it and fully expected to get the punishment I knew to expect for my actions.

However, I was a wild boy who did what I wanted and to hell with the consequences. If there were no spankings, Jesus Christ, what the hell would have held me in check? Having to apologize...........fuck that's just impossibly naive. That wouldn't have fazed me in the least. I would have been like 'I'm sorry I beat you over the head with that shovel........heh heh. Can I go now?'

Does that mean every child needs spankings? Nor do you have to whip out the belt at the drop of a hat. You should be able to maintain order in your home better than that. I personally don't believe in spankings for girls at all other than a pat on the butt when they are babies to get their attention.

Everything you are saying makes sense and sounds great and is how I think all parents should be.


But nothing you have said works on a 3 year old, with no understanding of consequences for her actions. I tried all of the nice things, time outs, etc.

I wrestled with the idea of spankings and it really sucked because my daughter was a nightmare and i would come home from work and my girlfriend would be crying from frustration because all of the "Mr.Rogers" talk to your kid bullshit didn't work. This was a day in and day out issue. Was really bad.


I finally broke down and tried the spanking thing and it was a night and day difference. It worked when everything failed. Now that my daughter knows that spankings exist, she now listens and does what she is told including the "time outs."


My daughter had a time out yesterday and it worked. Why? because she knew if she didn't stay there she would get a spanking. Before spankings Time outs would not work. And I feel that that with out spankings time outs would have never worked.


Keep in mind I am only talking about a 3 year old. Taking things away, and prior to spankings "time outs" were a joke. Nothing worked.


You got some great "parent of the year" stuff gong and it makes great sense but none of it works at 3 years old with out spankings.


And keep in mind my daughter has only been spanked 3 times ever. It has been a night and day difference in how she behaves and how she listens. I will definitely will be using everything other than spankings to discipline my kid, but she knows and I know, when the "Mr. Rogers" stuff does not work, spankings are there as a plan "B".

100...........snot nose crabby kids