Dvae

You Might Be A Democrat If...

* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
* You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash.
* You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood.
* After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."
* The closest you've ever actually been to a rain forest is a Sting concert.
* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
* You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
* You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.
* Your High School Year Book goals included the words "help people."
* You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.
* You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity.
* Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.
* You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars.
* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.

* You've tried to get in touch with Hillary's broker.
* You've never been mugged.
* You think Al Gore is the second most powerful person in Washington.
* You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
* You've never had to worry about marginal tax rates.
* You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs.
* You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
* You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.
* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
* You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.
* You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
* You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President."
* You have a "Run, Jesse Run" bumper sticker on your diesel Volvo.
* You have to use the term "mean spirited" in every sentence when talking about welfare reform.
* You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.

* You actually expect to collect Social Security.
* You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
* You admire the Swedish welfare system.
* You know at least one Vegan.
* You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."
* You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
* You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations.
* You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heroes.
* You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
* You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
* You think the Great Society has actually worked.
* You know that Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.
* You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O'Rourke guy.
* You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.

* You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
* You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds.
* You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
* You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity.
* You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
* You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).
* You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.
* You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
* You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
* You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.

Shane_2ptoh

i'm prob a little slow? is this a rep or dem thread?

SallyRand

Worth reprinting!

BlackCrayon

We have a problem.
The companies want something done about this sluggish
world economic situation
Profits have been running a little thin lately
and we need to stimulate some growth
Now we know
there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming
around in your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble
for the police and damage private property.
It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job
It's about time we did something constructive with these people
We've got thousands of 'em here too. They're crawling all over
The companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get-together-
And start another war
The President?
He loves the idea! All those missiles streaming overhead to and fro
Napalm
People running down the road, skin on fire
The Soviets seem up for it:
The Kremlin's been itching for the real thing for years.
Hell, Afghanistan's no fun
So whadya say?
We don't even have to win this war.
We just want to cut down on some of this excess population
Now look. Just start up a draft; draft as many of those people as you can.
We'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on,
hand 'em some speed, give 'em an hour or two to learn how to use
an automatic rifle and send 'em on their way
Libya? El Salvador? How 'bout Northern Ireland?
Or a "moderately repressive regime" in South America?
We'll just cook up a good Soviet threat story
in the Middle East-we need that oil
We had Libya all ready to go and Colonel Khadafy's hit squad
didn't even show up. I tell ya
That man is unreliable.
The Kremlin had their fingers on the button just like we did for that one
Now just think for a minute-We can make this war so big-so BIG
The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper
We can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queue if we plan this right.
Take every loafer on welfare right off our computer rolls
Now don't worry about demonstrations-just pump up your drug supply.
So many people have hooked themselves on heroin
and amphetamines since we took over, it's just like Vietnam.
We had everybody so busy with LSD they never got too strong.
Kept the war functioning just fine
It's easy.
We've got our college kids so interested in beer
they don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again.
Put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard,
they wouldn't even know what it looked like
So how 'bout it? Look-War is money.
The arms manufacturers tell me unless
we get our bomb factories up to full production
the whole economy is going to collapse
The Soviets are in the same boat.
We all agree the time has come for the big one, so whadya say?!?
That's excellent. We knew you'd agree
The companies will be very pleased.

__________________
you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

GrouchyAdmin

sex for the butt.

__________________

Poindexterity

WOO HOO!
thats three, count em THREE "I am offended by the truth contained in another thread" threads.

c'mon, there's gotta be some more narrow minded pricks with their feelings hurt.
lets get this up to ten!

__________________
no sig

will76

so is this.....



Marrion, aka Sally Rand, the 60+ year old man pretending to be a college girl (pictured below) caught scamming people: https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-business-discussion/1012645-hey-sallyrand.html