You Might Be A Democrat If...
* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
* You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash.
* You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood.
* After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."
* The closest you've ever actually been to a rain forest is a Sting concert.
* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
* You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
* You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.
* Your High School Year Book goals included the words "help people."
* You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.
* You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity.
* Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.
* You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars.
* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.
* You've tried to get in touch with Hillary's broker.
* You've never been mugged.
* You think Al Gore is the second most powerful person in Washington.
* You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
* You've never had to worry about marginal tax rates.
* You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs.
* You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
* You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.
* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
* You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.
* You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
* You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President."
* You have a "Run, Jesse Run" bumper sticker on your diesel Volvo.
* You have to use the term "mean spirited" in every sentence when talking about welfare reform.
* You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
* You actually expect to collect Social Security.
* You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
* You admire the Swedish welfare system.
* You know at least one Vegan.
* You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."
* You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
* You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations.
* You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heroes.
* You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
* You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
* You think the Great Society has actually worked.
* You know that Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.
* You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O'Rourke guy.
* You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
* You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
* You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds.
* You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
* You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity.
* You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
* You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).
* You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.
* You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
* You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
* You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.
* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
* You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash.
* You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood.
* After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."
* The closest you've ever actually been to a rain forest is a Sting concert.
* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
* You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
* You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.
* Your High School Year Book goals included the words "help people."
* You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.
* You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity.
* Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.
* You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars.
* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.
* You've tried to get in touch with Hillary's broker.
* You've never been mugged.
* You think Al Gore is the second most powerful person in Washington.
* You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
* You've never had to worry about marginal tax rates.
* You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs.
* You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
* You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.
* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
* You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.
* You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
* You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President."
* You have a "Run, Jesse Run" bumper sticker on your diesel Volvo.
* You have to use the term "mean spirited" in every sentence when talking about welfare reform.
* You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
* You actually expect to collect Social Security.
* You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
* You admire the Swedish welfare system.
* You know at least one Vegan.
* You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."
* You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
* You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations.
* You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heroes.
* You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
* You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
* You think the Great Society has actually worked.
* You know that Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.
* You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O'Rourke guy.
* You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
* You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
* You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds.
* You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
* You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity.
* You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
* You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).
* You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.
* You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
* You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
* You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.
AIM: GrouchyGfy
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