THE REAL DANGERS OF BEER
Due to increasing product liability litigation,
beer manufacturers have
accepted the Medical Association's suggestion
that the following warning
labels be placed immediately on all beer
containers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make
you think you are whispering when
you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like a wanker.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to
SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead
you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in
the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave
you wondering what the heck
happened to your trousers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make
you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex
without spitting.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make
you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the
leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create
the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer and smarter than some
really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead
you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead
you to think people are laughing
WITH you.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
an influx in the space-time
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes
large) gaps of time seem to
literally disappear.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
actually CAUSE pregnancy.
Due to increasing product liability litigation,
beer manufacturers have
accepted the Medical Association's suggestion
that the following warning
labels be placed immediately on all beer
containers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make
you think you are whispering when
you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like a wanker.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to
SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead
you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in
the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave
you wondering what the heck
happened to your trousers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make
you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex
without spitting.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make
you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the
leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create
the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer and smarter than some
really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead
you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead
you to think people are laughing
WITH you.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
an influx in the space-time
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes
large) gaps of time seem to
literally disappear.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
actually CAUSE pregnancy.