What stinks when it rots?

[hayesone]

I'm having a fight with the local post office. They don't want to give me my packages (although so far, I've gotten them all, even though I had to walk out with one while they shouted at me that they were going to call the police, and today I had to call the head office and make them tell the flunkies to give me my package).

Anyway, I think they have to hold packages for 15 days before they can return them.

I want to send them a package of something that will rot and leave them dealing with a package of stinking putresence.

Any ideas?

[detoxed]

Why wont they give you packages? Are you being an asshole?

[Jakke PNG]

raw fish, raw chicken are alltime favorites

[hayesone]

Are you saying the post office should decide who should get their packages based on personality?

[hayesone]

There you go: raw fish and raw chicken. Any other suggestions?

[Vox]

Sardines or smoked mussels, extremely putrid smelling after a few days.

[cherrylula]

Why are they holding your packages?

[arial]

I have cats, and nothing stinks more then coming home after being gone all weekend and cleaning out the shit box full of dried up and piss and turds.

[sherie]

Cheese!! Blue cheese, mixed with some raw fish should give the desired stink you are going after

[delia]

Humans!

[hayesone]

Why wont they give you packages? Are you being an asshole?

For the record, they have some rule that allows them to give packages out to people who have the same address on their ID as the shipping address. I happen to live in two places and my ID does not have the address they want.

This is clearly a flexible rule that they can apply at will, since I have picked up many packages with no problems in exactly the same circumstances, which is no surprise, since I have the slip, the package is addressed to me, and I have ID that proves I'm me.

In fact, they've happily given packages to the superintendent of this building without even asking for her ID, and the package is clearly not for her.

If I'm being an asshole (and at this point I don't deny that I am) it's just my little way of dealing with mindless beauracracy.

[MCsteve-matrix]

Try a jar of milk with a chicken leg in it... if it sits long enough it will explode in the package and unleash a furious rank odor.

[Fletch XXX]

scat movies stink?

[hayesone]

Ahhh... some very good suggestions here.

[sherie]

Originally posted by MCsteve-matrix
Try a jar of milk with a chicken leg in it... if it sits long enough it will explode in the package and unleash a furious rank odor.

And you know this how?????

[MCsteve-matrix]

Originally posted by Vox
Sardines or smoked mussels, extremely putrid smelling after a few days.

also squid... found a dropped piece in my kitchen a week too late.

[MCsteve-matrix]

Originally posted by sherie
And you know this how?????

Good ol' FHM magazine.

[asuna]

human flesh!

[sherie]

Originally posted by MCsteve-matrix


Good ol' FHM magazine.

Dayum!! We don't get those here, does it usually have helpful hints like that in it? I may have to subscribe!!

[Damian_Maxcash]

Yep.... squid is the one

Went fishing just before going away for a few days and left some squid bait in the car.... I almost passed out when I got back in

It still smells a year later

[MCsteve-matrix]

Originally posted by sherie
Dayum!! We don't get those here, does it usually have helpful hints like that in it? I may have to subscribe!!

Thats the only article like that i've seen so far, but yeah it's a funny ass magazine. If you want pranks i suggest the Anarchists Cookbook

[Backov]

There's a site I read not too long ago that documented some guys experiments with the USPS. He did all sorts of shit to see what they would and wouldn't deliver.

He did point out some Federal laws that they can prosecute you under if you fuck with them too much however. The stinky package thing is one they especially don't like. ;>

[sherie]

Originally posted by MCsteve-matrix


Thats the only article like that i've seen so far, but yeah it's a funny ass magazine. If you want pranks i suggest the Anarchists Cookbook

Sweet! Thanks, I sure will use that I tell ya!

[angelsofporn]

when i was a kid i worked for the local paper selling newspaper subscriptions door to door..there was this guy who used to pick all us kids up and drop us off in that day's area to work. He was an asshole so i bought a big package of raw pork tongues at the grocery store. This was the middle of august in east county San Diego wehre the temp can get to 120 Farenheight...so i took the pork tongues and a screw driver and took off the inside side panel of his shitty van and put the whole 2-3 pounds of pork tongues in there and screwed it all back together..then i took a week off...
The fist day there was a faint aroma of rotten flesh..the second day there was an unbearable odor that made you nauceous..third day maggots were everywhere and through all this no one could find where the smell was coming from..our boss..the guy that owned and drove the van finally took it..(vomiting every few mins from the stench)..into a body shop where they took the whole thing apart and discovered the tongues inside the panel...they tryed to clean it but the stench was permanently embedded into the shitty wood grain paneling and seats...the carpet at that point was alive with thousands of maggots...he ended up selling the thing for whatever some one was willing to pay for a van that smelled like a rotten corpse
dont be mad folks ..he was a dick

[MCsteve-matrix]

angels....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FUNNY ASS SHIT!

[Nina]

damn. that is gross!

[rooster]

eat a bunch of mexican food, then lay some massive diarhea in a plastic bag like from the grocery store, and tie it up so it dosent seep out. then put in a box and poke a bunch of pin hole sized holes to let the odor out.

[Stallion]

hahahaha

[Penrod]

I took all 4 hubcaps off of an ex-girlfriends car and placed ballyhoo (fish) in each one. You could not get within 15 feet of the car without gagging.

[sherie]

I would have to agree with MCSteve on this one!!

That is a great story, who's gonna get mad!! If anything you have given an idea to plenty of people

[NetRodent]

For the record a lot of these would be illegal to mail.

[TheGoldenChild]

now your talking my language.

I used to leave a few foul smelling stenches in school, especially the year I elected to fuck up and go to summer school ( not intending to)

The last day of real classes we stuffed into lockers that were cleaned out: Rotten Eggs, Ketchup, dogshit, raw chicken and abot a thousand cloves of garlic into several lockers and HVAC ducts....

The joke was on me when I flunked Geometry and had to go back to the school 2 weeks later for summer school-

Not only did I have to sit in a room that smelled so horrific- the maggots turned into flies and they were EVERYWHERE!

[Penrod]

Originally posted by kBizzle
now your talking my language.

I used to leave a few foul smelling stenches in school, especially the year I elected to fuck up and go to summer school ( not intending to)

The last day of real classes we stuffed into lockers that were cleaned out: Rotten Eggs, Ketchup, dogshit, raw chicken and abot a thousand cloves of garlic into several lockers and HVAC ducts....

The joke was on me when I flunked Geometry and had to go back to the school 2 weeks later for summer school-

Not only did I have to sit in a room that smelled so horrific- the maggots turned into flies and they were EVERYWHERE!

Hahahahaha

[MattO]

Get a pig fetus from a school or a place that sells disection stuff. Let it sit in the sun for a couple of days before mailing it.

Yum.