From the company that brought you Lightspeedcash and TawneeStone.com, we are proud to announce a new site and a new affiliate program! Both were built using the tried and true business methods that have served this industry so well for so many years!
For the surfer we present PORNRIPOFF.COM --- a completely new site which promises live sex, millions of original pictures and videos, and the hottest girls we could find from all over the world! This is the hottest new thing in reality sites, because although we advertise to the surfer that he can actually fuck our models, in reality as soon as he sees our crappy member's area, he'll feel like he's been fucked!
Pornripoff.com rebills at 39.95 (daily), and with no way to cancel or contact customer support, its a sure money maker! This site will easily sell to those whimpy masochist type guys who just love to be abused. They'll experience plenty of abuse at pornripoff.com, because the site is hosted on a top of the line (from 1989) 386sx with 256k of memory and a 10 meg harddrive, using a 2400 baud modem. Oh the joy they'll have!
Imagine their surprize when they find out that their trial also enrolls them in 45 other fantastic but hard-to-locate paysites, and their email address is immediately added to hundreds of spam lists! They'll never be able to view *or cancel* them all!
For the webmaster, we bring you SHAVE4FREE.COM, the most honest affiliate program ever created to promote pornripoff.com! With shave4free, you won't spend hours reviewing your stats, because we don't have a working stats program! We tell you right up front in our name its SHAVE4FREE -- that's right -- it costs you NOTHING to promote our program!
We have a very simple way of paying webmasters that completely cuts out the guesswork. You get credit for 100% of every sale! Of course, there are a few deductions which are clearly outlined in our 620-page TOS, including deductions for signups from people who use credit cards, checks, 900 service, dialers, and other popular payment methods.
Our method of counting hits is very creative, because we just make up a fictional number and say that is what you sent us. (How's that for a "unique hit"?)
We promise to credit you for AT LEAST every 10th sale, and we cut checks weekly to all our affiliates, unless you live in the US, Canada, Mexico, England, Germany, or any other country.
And you'll have the comfort of knowing that we're living like rockstars with your money! This message is the last you'll ever hear of this program (including affiliate support). Don't try to call us, cuz we don't even have phones!
So sign up for SHAVE4FREE.COM and start promoting PORNRIPOFF.COM today (actually, you will anyway because when you read this message we inserted scumware and viruses onto your computer which transmitted all your email lists and username/passwords to us)
So thanks for reading, Happy April Fool's Day!
Steve Lightspeed
For the surfer we present PORNRIPOFF.COM --- a completely new site which promises live sex, millions of original pictures and videos, and the hottest girls we could find from all over the world! This is the hottest new thing in reality sites, because although we advertise to the surfer that he can actually fuck our models, in reality as soon as he sees our crappy member's area, he'll feel like he's been fucked!
Pornripoff.com rebills at 39.95 (daily), and with no way to cancel or contact customer support, its a sure money maker! This site will easily sell to those whimpy masochist type guys who just love to be abused. They'll experience plenty of abuse at pornripoff.com, because the site is hosted on a top of the line (from 1989) 386sx with 256k of memory and a 10 meg harddrive, using a 2400 baud modem. Oh the joy they'll have!
Imagine their surprize when they find out that their trial also enrolls them in 45 other fantastic but hard-to-locate paysites, and their email address is immediately added to hundreds of spam lists! They'll never be able to view *or cancel* them all!
For the webmaster, we bring you SHAVE4FREE.COM, the most honest affiliate program ever created to promote pornripoff.com! With shave4free, you won't spend hours reviewing your stats, because we don't have a working stats program! We tell you right up front in our name its SHAVE4FREE -- that's right -- it costs you NOTHING to promote our program!
We have a very simple way of paying webmasters that completely cuts out the guesswork. You get credit for 100% of every sale! Of course, there are a few deductions which are clearly outlined in our 620-page TOS, including deductions for signups from people who use credit cards, checks, 900 service, dialers, and other popular payment methods.
Our method of counting hits is very creative, because we just make up a fictional number and say that is what you sent us. (How's that for a "unique hit"?)
We promise to credit you for AT LEAST every 10th sale, and we cut checks weekly to all our affiliates, unless you live in the US, Canada, Mexico, England, Germany, or any other country.
And you'll have the comfort of knowing that we're living like rockstars with your money! This message is the last you'll ever hear of this program (including affiliate support). Don't try to call us, cuz we don't even have phones!
So sign up for SHAVE4FREE.COM and start promoting PORNRIPOFF.COM today (actually, you will anyway because when you read this message we inserted scumware and viruses onto your computer which transmitted all your email lists and username/passwords to us)
So thanks for reading, Happy April Fool's Day!
Steve Lightspeed
Comment