Best Comeback

[UnseenWorld]

One of my favorites is...

"Dorothy Parker and Clare Booth Luce -- arguably two of America's great twentieth century literary women -- come to a door at the same time. Luce steps aside, saying, 'Age before beauty.' Dorothy Parker walks through the door, saying, 'pearls before swine.'"

You know any good ones?

[OneHungLo]

You must be old

[UnseenWorld]

Originally posted by OneHungLo
You must be old

That and literate.

[Amputate Your Head]

Homer Simpson - "Doh!"

[Babaganoosh]

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
--His reply, Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Sir, you're drunk!
--Winston Churchill to Lady Astor; Yes, Madam, and you're ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

[booker]

Best comeback ever is, of course..

"Oh yeah!? Well the Jerk Store called, and they're all out of you!!"

..of course, you have to be wary of the counter attack,

"What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller!!"

[booker]

Originally posted by Armed & Hammered
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
--His reply, Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Sir, you're drunk!
--Winston Churchill to Lady Astor; Yes, Madam, and you're ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Might be the origin of a joke I heard a while ago...

Guy is being checked out at the grocery store when this woman gets in line behind him and starts putting her groceries on the conveyer. He looks them over, turns to her and says, "Ma'am, I'm guessing that you are single." The woman replies, "Wow, you could tell that I'm single just from the food I'm buying?" and he says, "No, you're ugly."

[UnseenWorld]

True story of a policeman coming across a man screwing a hole in a pumpkin at night. As related by the cop:

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' "He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

[UnseenWorld]

Originally posted by booker



Might be the origin of a joke I heard a while ago...

Guy is being checked out at the grocery store when this woman gets in line behind him and starts putting her groceries on the conveyer. He looks them over, turns to her and says, "Ma'am, I'm guessing that you are single." The woman replies, "Wow, you could tell that I'm single just from the food I'm buying?" and he says, "No, you're ugly."

Reminds me of another one:

Doctor: "Sorry, but I have bad news: you have only about 3 months to live."

Patient: "Can I get a second opinion?"

Doctor: "Okay. You're ugly, too."

[SpaceAce]

Originally posted by Armed & Hammered
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
--His reply, Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Sir, you're drunk!
--Winston Churchill to Lady Astor; Yes, Madam, and you're ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I was going to pose these


SpaceAce

[Gallardo]

Hey, I met your parents yesterday - cool guys

[CDSmith]

I smell sperm. did you burp?

[MattO]

What about some "Your Mama"'s?

"Your Mama's so fat she can see her own ass over the horizon!"

[RyanExpress]

If I wanted some cum back I'd scrape it off your teeth...If I wanted my cum back I'd scrape it out of yo mama's ass! hehe


Sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone who cares..


I am not to interested in having a battle of whitts...as you are obviously unprepared;)


That's all for now hope u enjoy.

[Butrflied]

I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?!?

[iggysick]

[Machete_]

this is a OLD one:


---------

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during
a felony trial - it went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the
description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-
called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you
have a locker room in the police station - a room where you
change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers
with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker
in a room you share with those same officers?

A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex,
and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that
room.

[Content Girl]

One of these days,Alice,POW, right in the kisser!!

[psy]

Originally posted by OneHungLo
You must be old

You: Eggman. Me: Walrus.

The Beatles - I am the walrus

i am the egg man i am the walrus cucukacu :P

[AmeliaG]

Originally posted by UnseenWorld
One of my favorites is...

"Dorothy Parker and Clare Booth Luce -- arguably two of America's great twentieth century literary women -- come to a door at the same time. Luce steps aside, saying, 'Age before beauty.' Dorothy Parker walks through the door, saying, 'pearls before swine.'"

You know any good ones?

I heart Dorothy Parker.

[candyflip]

Bills vs. Oilers
1992 AFC Wild Card Game
Jan. 3, 1993

Frank Reich threw 4 second-half touchdown passes and Steve Christie kicked a 32-yard field goal 3:06 into overtime as the Bills mounted the greatest comeback in NFL history to stun the Oilers.

Houston led 35-3...

[eroswebmaster]

Originally posted by UnseenWorld



That and literate.

LOL speaking of good comebacks

[NetRodent]

Originally posted by Armed & Hammered
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
--His reply, Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Sir, you're drunk!
--Winston Churchill to Lady Astor; Yes, Madam, and you're ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

A true classic.