Economic Models explained with cows

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  • pornpf69
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Jun 2004
    • 15782

    #1

    Economic Models explained with cows

    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow hasropped dead.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
    brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
    You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
    No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    THE ANDERSEN MODEL
    You have two cows.
    You shred them.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
    You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
  • pornpf69
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Jun 2004
    • 15782

    #2
    I just can't believe that no one has replied to this thread....

    Comment

    • Nysus
      Confirmed User
      • Aug 2001
      • 7817

      #3
      I LOL at a few of them. Thanks for posting!
      What name is pr0 / Untouched Markets using these days? Untouched Markets - pr0 - Refund My Money Now

      Someone owes me $2,000 because they didn't do any work that was paid for *pointing at pr0 / William / UntouchedMarkets*

      See http://www.gfy.com/showthread.php?p=16744521 and for more detailed see http://www.gfy.com/showthread.php?t=948645

      Comment

      • Vick!
        Confirmed User
        • Nov 2005
        • 6882

        #4
        Originally posted by pornpf69
        I just can't believe that no one has replied to this thread....
        ya strange.

        Some of them are really funny.
        Affordable Quality Web Hosting

        Comment

        • Marshal
          Biz Dev and SEO
          • Jun 2005
          • 15219

          #5
          really funny! for the read!
          ---
          Busy ranking websites on Google...

          Comment

          • bonkerz2007
            Confirmed User
            • Sep 2005
            • 794

            #6
            bump for a hilarious thread

            Comment

            • tony299
              lurker
              • Aug 2002
              • 57021

              #7
              That was very funny.

              Comment

              • Big_D
                CRAZY MOFUKKA
                • Jun 2006
                • 3296

                #8
                funny shit man, fuck 515am here going to crash

                Comment

                • JamesK2
                  Confirmed User
                  • Aug 2004
                  • 6589

                  #9

                  Comment

                  • aico
                    Moo Moo Cow
                    • Mar 2004
                    • 14748

                    #10
                    The French one made me laugh.

                    Comment

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