New Windows 2000 info

[ElvisManson]

In order to reduce the amount of confusion that end users might have in identifying the role of certain files that they have on their hard drives, Windows 2000 now incorporates "smart" file extensions to aid end users in support and troubleshooting issues. Please consult this reference guide before calling Microsoft or any authorized Microsoft Support Services vendor:
.god - Files developed by Microsoft
.crap - 3rd party files
.porn - Adult image files on an unmarried males computer
.bible - Adult image files on a married males computer
.easyaccess - Undocumented security flaws in Explorer, Outlook, and IIS
.forsakendreams - Unfinished novels and short stories
.lewinsky - Letters to your mistress
.jackson - Information files on your illegitimate children
.bush - New compression format that give you 1.6 Trillion times more disk space but may increase the amount of arsenic and CO that your computer produces
.china - Files that will hold 24 other files hostage if any attempts are made to reference the operating system.
.greenspan - New products that attempt to prevent overuse of the computer by dynamically adjusting the amount of memory your computer has available (adjusted quarterly).


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[deluxe]

lol

[X37375787]

That's some funny shit - did you come up with that all by yourself ?

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[Lane]

hahaha

where did u get that from?

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[X37375787]

Lane, sign on ICQ please !

[ElvisManson]

Lane and Equinox,

I did not come up with it myself.

The Executive Assistant here e-mailed it to me.

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[whoreans]

lol funny shit

[ElvisManson]

This one is an oldie but a goodie.

If Bill Gates were killed in a car accident. He might find himself being
sized up by God.
"...Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to
send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by
putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you created
that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before.
In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"
Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help
you make a decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you."
Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in
the water, laughing and frolicking about.
The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very
pleased. "This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to
see Heaven!"
"Fine," said God, and off they went.
Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing
harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought
for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think prefer Hell,"
he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to
Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how
he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to
a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave.
He was being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going,
Bill?" God asked. Bill responded, his voice full of anguish and
disappointment, "This is awful; this is NOT what I expected. I can't
believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches
and the beautiful women playing in the water?"
God says, "That was the screen saver."


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