Sick Joke Thread

[Scott McD]

Post em' here.

Anyone who takes any offense should have known to not open a 'sick joke' thread. I'll start...


What's dangerous and eats nuts?
Syphilis.

What's the difference between football and rape?
Women don't like football.

What are the three reasons why anal sex is better then vaginal sex?
It's warmer, it's tighter, and it's more degrading to women.

What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A Rape victim

How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's ugly and sleeps alone ?
Yoko Ono.

What is the best thing to say to an Arts student with a job?
"Big Mac and large fries please!".

What's black and blue and smokes in the corner?
A baby chewing on an extension cord

What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
Marriage.

What are the first symptom of AIDS?
A pounding sensation in the arse.

What is the difference between a midget and a freak?
Political correctness.

[Nicky]

Some were pretty funny

[Fresh]

What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection???

Quarter-Pounder with Cheese

[Dirty Dane]

Interviewer during Paralympics: - How do you feel about winning gold medal?
Winner: - What can be better?
Interwiewer: - Not beeing retard?


sorry.. ugly, but a little bit funny LOL

[Scott McD]

What's the difference between an onion and a dead hooker?
I cry when i cut up onions.

What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little boy once he was in the car?
Hey, go easy on the sweets.

Why did Princess Di cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

what do a prostitute and a bowling ball have in common?
they both get picked up, fingered and chucked down an alley!!

Whats 12 inches long and makes a woman scream??
Cot Death!!

Why did so many blacks die in the Vietnam war?
Because when someone shouted 'Get down!'...they all jumped up and started danicng.

[gimo33]

Interviewer during Paralympics: - How do you feel about winning gold medal?
Winner: - What can be better?
Interwiewer: - Not beeing retard?


sorry.. ugly, but a little bit funny LOL

[Dvae]

Two Gay guys having sex and the house catches on fire.
Which one gets out first, the guy on top or the guy on the bottom?





The guy on the bottom.
Why? Because he's already got his shit packed.

[Kimo]

hahaha thats good shit

[Dagwolf]

Whats 12 inches long and makes a woman scream??
Cot Death!!

Dead baby jokes suck.

[shekinah]

That's a nice one mate! You rock!

[viki]

This is a joke my (Jewish) mom told to me whilst laughing hysterically:

Why did Hitler kill himself?




...because his gas bill was too high.

[Vitasoy]

Some of those are great.

[Spunky]

lol..funny shit

[marketsmart]

some funny ones

[MyNameIsNobody]

Little lisa: Daddy daddy, I want a new barbie doll.
Dad: Alright Lisa but you have to work for it
Little lisa: *suck suck* Daddy, you're cock taste like shit
Dad: Yeah I know, your brother wanted a new bicycle

[MyNameIsNobody]

What is the easiest way of killing Somali people?

Draw a picture of a cake on a rock

[calibra]

[gecko]

bahahaha

[woj]

Little lisa: Daddy daddy, I want a new barbie doll.
Dad: Alright Lisa but you have to work for it
Little lisa: *suck suck* Daddy, you're cock taste like shit
Dad: Yeah I know, your brother wanted a new bicycle

[dillinja666]

q:why does it take old ladies so long to pee
A: ever tried to pull a grilled cheese apart?

[Scott McD]

Little lisa: Daddy daddy, I want a new barbie doll.
Dad: Alright Lisa but you have to work for it
Little lisa: *suck suck* Daddy, you're cock taste like shit
Dad: Yeah I know, your brother wanted a new bicycle

[MyNameIsNobody]

Dude1 is telling a hitler/jew joke...

Dude2: "Hey, that's not funny! My grandfather where killed in a concentration camp!"

Dude1: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry.. I didn't know that.."
Dude2: "yeah. . . he fell of a watchtower"

[NinjaSteve]

hahahahaha