Offensive jokes

[Libertine]

Post some

What's eight inches long and white?
Nothing.

What do call a Negro who has a regular job, sleeps in the same bed every night, and doesn't rape white women?
Inmate #64789

What do you say to a Mexican in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac and a Coke."

How do you know when it's time to go to bed at Michael Jackson's house?
The big hand is on the little hand.

[Alex]

Aren't jokes supposed to be funny?

[LittleSassy]

Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do dick.

[DarkJedi]

[Libertine]

Aren't jokes supposed to be funny?

Nope. Where'd ya ever get that silly idea?

[Net41]

What do you say to a Mexican in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac and a Coke."

You're a fag essay

[practiceTITOISM]

Whats the last thing that went through the man's head on the 66th floor of the world trade center when the building collapsed?



The 67th floor

[Alex]

You're a fag essay

Why did you call him a term paper?

[practiceTITOISM]

Why did you call him a term paper?

Ok Pablo Francisco

[Libertine]

Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".

"Why is that?" said the other tramp.

"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."

The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."

"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"

"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

[CDSmith]

Mike and Bob had just finished the first nine holes in their round of golf, and it was obvious that Mike was having an awful day.

"Gee Mike, you're just not your old self today. What's the matter?" asked Bob.

Mike, looking pretty glum, said, "I think Connie's dead."

"My God! That's terrible," said Bob, "but you said you only THINK your wife is dead. Aren't you sure?"

"Well, I just don't know" responded Mike, "the sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up."


www.jokesbee.com

[Spunky]

Those last 2 were funny

[Libertine]

A guy picks up a girl in a bar, brings her home, and they start getting it on. He starts sucking on one of her tits and milk comes out.

He says, "Hey, are you pregnant?"

She says, "That wasn't a nipple, that was a boil."

[Libertine]

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."

[escorpio]

How do you make a dog stop humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck his dick.

What's the best thing about sex with twenty-nine year olds?
There's twenty of them.

Why did the blonde fuck the mexican?
Her teacher told her to do an essay.

[buck naked]

What's the definition of a true gentleman?
He lets his chick suck his cock BEFORE he fucks her in the ass.

[Libertine]

A man goes into a drugstore and says to the druggist, "I need some birth control for my eleven-year-old daughter."

"Is your little girl sexually active?" asks the druggist.

"Nah, she just lays there like her mother."

[SteveLightspeed]

Mommy, Mommy! What's a transvestite?
Shut up and unhook Daddy's bra.

[Manowar]

Mommy, Mommy! What's a transvestite?
Shut up and unhook Daddy's bra.

[Dalai lama]

Mommy, Mommy! What's a transvestite?
Shut up and unhook Daddy's bra.

[Luc]

michael jackson, a young boy, and a rabbi are on a plane.

suddenly, something happens and they have to jump off, but there are only
two parachutes.

the rabbi puts one on and so does jackson....

then jackson asks, "what about the boy?",
rabbi replies, "fuck him.."

jackson, "do we have enough time?"

[jollyperv]

What do you call 4 mexicans stuck in quicksand?

"Quatros Cincos"

[sherie]

You're hot!

[Wiggles]

offensive jokes are the funniest ones

[Lee]

Whats the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken.

[chipmunk]

Check out http://www.laughline.com for 1000's of offensive and rude jokes...

-=Chipmunk=-

[tranza]

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

That's so fucking true....

[Dopy]

Offensive Classics



Why do blacks put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?
So mexicans can window shop

Why don't mexicans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.

What are the first 3 words in the Mexican national anthem?
"Attention K-Mart shoppers?

What are the first three words in every Mexican cookbook? "Steal a chicken"

Why is the Afghan air force so easy to train?
You only have to teach them how to take off!


Why do blacks smell
So blind people can hate them too

How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.

What do you call a black person in a courtroom
The accused

Why do they put cotton wool in pill bottles.
To remind black people of their past.

[Libertine]

You're hot!

[bluedevil]

how many pollocks does it take to clean a bathroom?














none, its a N**g*rs job

[CDSmith]

Little Johnny walks into the bathroom, sees his mother coming out of the shower, points at her crotch and says "What's that?"
Mom thinking quickly says "That's where your daddy hit me with the axe"
"Pretty good shot, he got you right in the c.unt"

[CDSmith]

One Greek says to another, "Do you think you'll ever go back to Greece?"

"No," he answered, "I think I'll stick with K-Y Jelly"

[CDSmith]

Mrs Rhodes
Late one evening, the day after he had lost his wife scuba diving, two grim-faced policemen paid Mr. Rhodes a visit. "We're sorry to disturb you at this hour, Mr Rhodes, but we have some information concerning your wife. Actually, we have some bad news, some pretty good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Obviously fearing the worst, Mr Rhodes asked for the bad news first.

"We're sorry to inform you, sir," the policeman said, "we found your wife's body in the San Francisco Bay this morning."
Oh, my God!" said a distraught Mr. Rhodes. Remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"

"When we pulled her up," said the policeman, "she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen crabs on her."
"What?" a confused Mr Rhodes exclaimed. "So, what's the great news?"

As he smiled and smacked his lips, the officer replied, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."


www.jokesbee.com


:D

[LittleMack]

Whats black and sits on the top of the stairs?
































Christopher Reeves in a house fire!


Ya, I know, that is bad,

[bringer]

what did the black kid get for christmas?

my bike

How do you stop a mexican from drowning?

take your foot off his head

how do you get a racist to laugh on a sunday?

tell them a joke on friday

[Vitasoy]

Mommy, Mommy! What's a transvestite?
Shut up and unhook Daddy's bra.

haha nice one. I love it.

[LittleMack]

Fucking funny shit here

[CDSmith]

I am the god.....






... of the truly tasteless. :D

[CDSmith]

[gecko]

some great ones

[CDSmith]

What do you call a black person in a courtroom
The accused.

[CDSmith]

This thread is not ready to die yet.

[kmanrox]

A man goes into a drugstore and says to the druggist, "I need some birth control for my eleven-year-old daughter."

"Is your little girl sexually active?" asks the druggist.

"Nah, she just lays there like her mother."

hahahahahaaahaa

thats fucked

[Lt. Space Dingo]

What's the worst part about killing children?

washing the blood out of my clown suit.