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  • Bake
    Confirmed User
    • Jan 2001
    • 5916

    #1

    JOKE

    Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early
    > morning
    > > > hours and went home their separate ways.
    > > >
    > > > The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker
    the
    > > > night before.
    > > >
    > > > The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove
    > straight
    > > > home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I
    > > > blew chunks."
    > > >
    > > > The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car
    and
    > > > wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have
    > insurance!"
    > > >
    > > > The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got
    home,
    > > > I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and
    > burned
    > > > the whole house down!"
    > > >
    > > > The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke but
    again,
    > > >
    > > > "Listen girls, I don't think you understand. Chunks is my dog."
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  • TheWatcher
    Confirmed User
    • May 2001
    • 563

    #2
    HA! That was funny. Thanks for the morning pick me up!

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    • fredicus
      Confirmed User
      • Jan 2001
      • 286

      #3

      A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the
      floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

      Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

      The doctor asked patient #1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"
      The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.
      Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy.
      He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

      The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

      Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"




      ------------------
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      -------------------------
      Are you trying to tell me that coconuts migrate ?
      Unlikely to be Y3K Compliant

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      • Hot Tropical Babes
        Confirmed User
        • Feb 2001
        • 3014

        #4
        LMAO,,,,,,,i needed a good laugh today!! Thanks Bake

        ------------------
        Hot Tropical Babes
        <BR>
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        • wiZd0m
          Confirmed User
          • Feb 2001
          • 1526

          #5
          LOL

          ------------------
          wiZd0m
          Fortune Pussy Adult Links
          ----------
          wiZd0m

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          • hottshot
            Confirmed User
            • Feb 2001
            • 900

            #6
            HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM.....

            1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.

            2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.

            3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.

            4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.

            5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap:
            Los Angeles.

            6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

            7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.

            8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.

            9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake,
            throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.

            10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna:
            West Virginia.

            11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above the steering wheel, driving in the left lane at 35 on the Interstate with the left blinker on: Florida.
            Love Dollars helps pay my bar tab


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