open relationships

[Spud]

do they work?

[C_U_Next_Tuesday]

from what I hear, yes.. as long as both parties agreed to the "openess"..

[dropped9]

Most of the time they fail miserably... Someone always gets attached and thats the downfall of them...

[Thong Sniper]

if you're asking...don't bother even trying.

[TheLegacy]

you can hardly keep an open relationship without feelings eventually getting involved - thats the problem with sex - somewhere down the road - emotions come into play and either you go with it or its over.

Women can fall for other women - and guys hate competition (*so do women) - I mean there will always be the feeling that the other person will leave you if you happen to like the 3rd wheel.

[liquidmoe]

Originally posted by Headless
Most of the time they fail miserably... Someone always gets attached and thats the downfall of them...

9 out of 10 times this is the case, just hope you are the one that doesnt get attached and calls it off.

[jhauser]

One usually ends up attached just like Headless said.

[Spud]

really? any people here have first hand experience?

[wielco]

[Spud]

Originally posted by Thong Sniper
if you're asking...don't bother even trying.

just getting out of one today. Just wanted to see what the GFY's had to say about it

[stev0]

I'd say no... they're for people that try to justify dating slutty women.

[Spud]

I found I'm not really up for it. I'd get names confused and fights would break out. I'm thinking it's mostly for people that have a fear of commitment? Don't want to go through the old break up heart ache again so why not change the rules and see if it lessens the impact of failure

[Odie]

there's nothing wrong with open relationships if the people that are involved are mature and "open" with their feelings. I have friends who are involved in open marriages and they are happy. They both understand that love isn't all about sex and that they need to explore sex with eachother and other people together and they haven't had any problems...It works for them.

We've all become so attached to monogamy and forget that back in the day and still to this day, there are still polygamous relationships...even in the bible, they had polygamous marriages(of course, they were mainly for creating offspring) but they were still there.

as for me, well, I've been involved in open relationships and didn't have a problem with it..of course it was me, my bf and my best friend...it would have lasted but she moved to australia..

[MichaelP]

Originally posted by Spud
really? any people here have first hand experience?

Yep I had many, many, many, and they are absolutely right ...

One or the other get attached and that's where the fun ends and things starts to get complicated...

[Zipper]

I think they always work in a mans eyes till he sees his beloved getting pounded by half the room.

NO WAY in the long run.

[Gemini]

If you are to the point of even THINKING to open it up, kill it now and just walk away. Yes thats from real experience.

A couple we used to know always swore they'd be able to handle it. Laughedd about them being swingers for 22 years... Oops, year 24 didn't work out for them so well.

It might take some time, but eventually you WILL find the person that has what you missed in the first place. And it IS something that is lacking that brings on swinging.

I've known probably 80 couples over the years that opened it up... none are together now either.

[E.Kant]

Mostly they only work for one of the both partners ;)

I guess it all depends on what you expect from a relationship

[Spud]

what I don' t understand is why people would opt for an open relationship instead of just moving from one to an other? When I'm with someone they get 100% of my attention, there's no way I could just give 50/50 and if it was 60/40 or anthing else what would I really be getting in return?

[iFliPcEss]

open relationship will definitely wont work for me... I dont wanna share my man... our dreams... my greatest possesion

[Bigdogg]

Originally posted by Spud
do they work?

My saying is, if you want to keep them don't freak them...

[Pornkings]

I could never share

[Lucy]

Originally posted by iFliPcEss
open relationship will definitely wont work for me... I dont wanna share my man... our dreams... my greatest possesion

totally agreed, great opinion

[Sarah_Jayne]

honestly? yes they can but it isn't at all easy. I am in a somewhat open marriage and it is always a fine balancing act. We each know that the other will come home at the end of the fun but the trick is to make sure that your partner knows that - especially when they are down or having unrelated emotional issues.

Never, ever take the situation for granted.

I am a tad poly so that is a bit different than traditional open relationships and a whole different balancing act.


Don't ever consider if your relationshis isn't rock solid from the start.

[AMADude]

No, they dont work.

[Kalifornia]

it might

[reynold]

They seldom do!

[KittyLix]

the usually never work out

[ArikaAmes]

My Hubby and I have a VERY, VERY, VERY open relationship, and I think it works out very well. But both people have to be open with each other. Of course you'll have your little scuffles still, but it's so much better being honest with each other and sharing everything.
I would not have it any other way




JUST KIDDING: I thought you meant honesty wise.

HELL NOOOOOOOO, I would never ever ever share my man. You all must think i'm nuts for posting what I posted above. Sorry, I don't think that would ever ever work.

[Theo]

ArikaAmes, for a moment you freaked me

[ArikaAmes]

Originally posted by Soul_Rebel
ArikaAmes, for a moment you freaked me

I know, I typed that and posted it, then I read all the other posts.
I started freakin out. Anyone who knew me would know that is definitely not how I feel. UHHHHHHH, I feel so dumb!

[<IMX>]

I seriously doubt they work. I mean shit...how would you feel if you come home from a hard days work a bit early and your wife has left you a note...

Honey,

I'm at the hilton getting fucked in the ass and mouth by two big buck negroes with 12 inch cocks.

I'll be home at around 9 a.m. tomorrow morning.

love,
your sweety.

P.S.
Do you want to go to IHOP? I think I'll be really hungry!

[newsdude]

They say open relationships are for those who are open-minded! But that's a very hard thing to keep, whether you agree or not!

[escorpio]

No. Trust me.

[MandyD]

They can work - it depends on the individuals involved and the reasons they are doing it. If both aren't 100% secure in your relationship, it's not likely to work for you

[stephthegeek]

Speaking from personal experience, they can work. But it can take a few tries to get it right :\ It's definitely risky, but can be incredible. One word - communication.

[Rankings]

openness and honesty is the key, with out it you can get locked out

[Mishi]

Originally posted by MandyD
They can work - it depends on the individuals involved and the reasons they are doing it. If both aren't 100% secure in your relationship, it's not likely to work for you

Agree. It's certainly not a "fix" for a relationship that's gone stale. And it depends on everyone involved being mature, honest, and willing to make the occasional sacrifice. And often, that sacfrice means you don't get to go out and play, just because the relationship is "open".

[reynold]

Originally posted by input
openness and honesty is the key, with out it you can get locked out

How open can you be? Are you confident he/she won't leave you for the other one?

[MandyD]

That's why you need a very strong relationship to start with

[Diabolical Cord]

I'm too jealous and clingy.

[Mishi]

Originally posted by reynold
How open can you be? Are you confident he/she won't leave you for the other one?

You have to be open to the possibility that he/she MAY leave you. The whole "If you love something, set it free" etc. attitude.

It most definitely is not for everybody. Some people seem to be able to make it work out. My partner and I entered our relationship with the idea that it was "open" (though we come first) but we've never felt the need to test that. We'll see how it goes after a few more years.

[basschick]

i've known a lot of open marriages and a couple group marriages. i've only known two that worked, and the rest got weird, although some went on for years before getting horrible and ending.

the open marriages i knew they couples loved each other - they simply had sex with others. it was usually when a sexual partner ended up becoming more than a fuck buddy that things ended - and that always happened.

[newsdude]

Originally posted by Diabolical Cord
I'm too jealous and clingy.

Most people are, or at least those who truly loves!

[stephthegeek]

The "other people" we are most involved with are another couple that are close friends. I think somehow it's a little easier that way... we are completely open with each other if any issues arise.

If the idea of your partner with someone else doesn't turn you on, it's probably not going to work for you. This isn't something you want to just try and tolerate.

[stev0]

Originally posted by MandyD
That's why you need a very strong relationship to start with

Personally, I don't think a relationship is very strong if either party wants to go out and bang other people...

[necoeds]

Originally posted by TheLegacy
you can hardly keep an open relationship without feelings eventually getting involved - thats the problem with sex - somewhere down the road - emotions come into play and either you go with it or its over.

Women can fall for other women - and guys hate competition (*so do women) - I mean there will always be the feeling that the other person will leave you if you happen to like the 3rd wheel.

I've had pleanty of experience.... had to close it... after my passat got rammed into a house by a jeep liberty...

doesn't mean can'd do things on the DL though

[Spud]

Well the dish in this circumstance laid out the ground rules day one. We've both been married before and I've always lived with my partners. This time there's no living together, we try and limit our expectations of each other (as compared to other relationships I've been in). We've been together about 7 months and she has fooled around with a few girls but non of it went any where. She started a new job and started telling me about a new friend she met there. I knew that it was going to go someplace but didn't want to come across insecure. Then just the other day she said that they hung out and watched a movie and something clicked. The next night she slept at his house and I knew by premonition. So the door to the open relationship opened up and hit me right between the eyes. First reaction was to kill it and walk. Then a friend said give some time before making any decisions. Another friend said go out and get yourself a fuck buddy. I am attractive but when it comes to going out and "getting" a fuck buddy I'm not to sure how soon that will happen. She still has my heart and I'm not sure at this point if I still have hers or not. The worst part now is trying not to think about it all the time. Thank for all the feedback, please keep it coming.

[stephthegeek]

Originally posted by stev0
Personally, I don't think a relationship is very strong if either party wants to go out and bang other people...

It's not really about that... I just don't really believe in only sleeping with one person for the rest of your life. Sex is important to me, why limit it? I just have close friends who I like to have intimate relationships with. We enjoy flirting as a couple. Also, being bisexual it's rather stifling to think of having to settle down with just one gender. Being involved with others just isn't really a big deal to us.

"Relax, it's just sex"

[necoeds]

exactly... relax... it's just sex....

you just gotta keep it that way

[Spud]

cool, I am finding that more of my friends that are dating are in multiple relationships and it's not to hard. I use to do the same thing but I was 10 years younger. Guess it's time for me to draw a little from that and get on with it. Thanks again for all the input