Post Simpsons Quotes

[ldinternet]

Homer: With ten thousand dollars we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things, like..... love!


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Homer: From now on, these bills are going to come out of your allowance!

Bart: You'll have to raise my allowance to about ten thousand dollars a week...

Homer: Then that's what I'll DO, smart guy


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Homer: Well, it's time to go to work

Homer's Brain: Little do they know I'm ducking out early to go on the Duff Brewery tour

Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that's the plan!

Homer's Brain: heh heh heh. They don't suspect a thing.

Homer: ...

Homer's Brain: well, off to the plant

Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery

Homer's Brain: Uh oh. Did I say that or just think it?

Homer: I've got to think of a lie fast!

Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?

Homer: AAAGH!


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Post more.

[chowda]

[ldinternet]

Homer trying to buy illegal fireworks:


Homer: Yeah, ummm... let me have some of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a couple of those panty shields <font size="1">someillegalfireworks</font> AND one of those disposable enemas.



Hindu clerk selling illegal fireworks:

Any red-blooded, flag-fearing American would love the M-320. Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.

[Bulldog-Johnnie]

mmmm chicken.......

[Justfuckedmyself]

Ralph Wiggum: "I bent my wookie"

[Ironhorse]

mmm...donuts

[traffictrader]

the goggles, they do nothing!!!

[uvort]

Comic Book Guy: Worst thread (episode) ever

[uvort]

Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Homer: You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel!

Homer: To Start Press Any Key. Where's the ANY key?

[zzgundamnzz]

Moe's Family Restraunt:
"Aww my Freakin Ears!"

Sideshow Bob's Parole Hearing:
"His tatooes say Die Bart Die"
"They say The Bart The. Its German!"
"Anybody that speaks German can't possible be Evil!"

[Rich]

One of my favorites is squeaky voice kid when sideshow bob puts has the bomb at the airshow. Everyone's stampeding out and he says "Stamp your hands for re-entry".



The Sea Captain is probably my favorite character besides Homer.

Arr, here be a fine vessel, the yarest river going boat thar be."

Homer: I'll take it

(boat sinks)

"arr, I don't know what I'm doing."

or

Captain: "Arr, matee, narry a warning light to be seen. Clear sailin' ahead for our precious cargo."

Sailor: "Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir?"

McAllister: "Aye, the hot pants."

[Spudman]

but marge i wanna pass the doochy on the left hand side.

[Ironhorse]

Doh

[uvort]

Grandpa Simpson: Homer, you're as stupid as a mule and twice as ugly. If a stranger offers you candy, I say take it!

Bart: Hello, my name is doctor cheeks, Im just doing my rounds, but I'm a little behind.

...and hes got the face drawn on his butt hahaha

[DrGuile]

Max Power is the man who's name you'd love to touch but you musnt touch!
His name sounds good in your hear and when you say it, you musnt fear,
cause his name can be said by anyone....

Burns: Ah! Max Power, how's every little thing?

Homer/Max Power: ....You remembered my name?!?

Burns: Of course, who could forget the name of such a charismatic individual?
Keep up the good work Max

Homer: Mr. Power!

Burns: Of course, Mr Power.....

[DrGuile]

Homer: There are 3 ways to do things: the Right, the Wrong and the Max Power way!

Bart: Isnt that the wrong way?

Homer(proudly): Yes! But Faster!

[dicknixon]

Lenny: "Im gonna die and I never even had cantelope"

Moe: "You're not missin nothing, Honeydew's the money melon."

[Rictor]

Originally posted by Justfuckedmyself
Ralph Wiggum: "I bent my wookie"

I have that on a t-shirt.

The other great Ralph quote is "My cat's breath smells like cat food."

[Sarah_Jayne]

Homer (going down hill on cart)

"must kill mo...weeee!"

[DrGuile]

Scorpio: Homer, which country do you hate the most, France or Italy?

Homer: France

Scorpio: Nobody ever says Italy

[Diabolical Cord]

There was a song that Moe did.

"Moe, Moe, Moe. Why don't you like me? Nobody likes me."

He did it so sad. It was classic.

[DrGuile]

Best Simpsons episodes:

Beer Baron, Max Power, Homer Vs NYC, Globex




Homer: What do you have to wash that awful taste down?

Street Vendor: Mountain Dew or Crab Juice

Homer: uuuuuuuUUUUUUuuuhhhhhh...... Ill take the crab juice

[Gamblore]

Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblore!

[Cyborg69]

...


excelent

[Trippekdick]

homer : duff =)

[psili]

grandpa simpson: " Im gunna smooch her like a mule
eating an apple"

[Manowar]

Duff man can't breathe, Oh no!

[psili]

Bart over phone: Homer, are you licking toads again.
Homer: I'm not not licking toads *licks toad, pupils grow huge*

[rip raster]

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

[maxdaname]

Ned Flanders: You know, a man came into the store today and asked for change for a dollar, and I accidentally gave him three quarters. Took me all afternoon just to track him down

[alecb]

Carl: "I heard we're goin' to Ape Island"
Lenny: "Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island"
Charlie: "Candy Apple Island? Whatta they got there?"
Carl: "Apes. But they're not so big"

[PiksalDesign]

"Oh the have the internet on computers now?" - homer

[PiksalDesign]

Originally posted by Manowar
Duff man can't breathe, Oh no!

"Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem" - Duffman

[ldinternet]

Homer: Marge we had a deal! Your sisters don't come hear after six and I stop eating your lipstick!


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Homer: Chauffer's lisence, eh? Mal, buckle your belt!

Wiggum: Uh, since you're trying to make a getaway in park, I'm guessing you DON'T have a license.


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Wiggum: I'm sorry kids, I don't think we will ever find your greyhounds. Maybe Mr. Burns will sell you one of the 25 he got last night.


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Bart: Basically Krabappel said you'd give the teachers everything they want.

Skinner: She did?

Bart: Yeah. She said you'd fold faster than Superman on laundry day.

[Basic_man]

Homer : DOH !

[Basic_man]

Homer : mmmmmmmmmmmmm, beer !

[ldinternet]

Homer looking through a radar gun while Lenny is shuffling cards:


Homer: Hey hurry up with the cards Lenny. I've got you clocked at 2 miles per hour!

Lenny: Hey put that away... those radar guns give you cancer!

Homer: All the more reason to hurry up! Hey wait, what could be going a hundred miles per h..

* Lenny punches Homer in the face *



Fucking hilarious.

[TSB]

Barney: BUURRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP !

[Sappy]

Ralph: You're like Mommy after a box of wine.

[TSB]

[abyss_al]

'...these crayons taste like burnding'
'..daddy's stomach is crying'

[ldinternet]

Milhouse: School's out! Up yours Krabappel!

Edna: Well I'm glad the rest of you remembered that summer vacation starts at the end of the day, not the beginning.


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Moe: Barney, remember when I said I'd have to send off to NASA to calculate your bar tab?

Barney: haha, yeah, we all had a good laugh at that

Moe: ...the results came back today. You owe me 70 billion dollars

Barney: mmph?!

Moe: Oh no wait, that's for the Voyager spacecraft. Um, your tab is 14 billion dollars

[ldinternet]

Homer: Here are your messages. You have thirty minutes to move your car. You have ten minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have thirty minutes to move your cube.

[Jedimaster]

Chief Wiggum: aahhh just get one of those inflatable woman,,,but make sure it's a woman thought,,,cause 1 time i,,,ah,,,,ummm

[Napolean]

marge - wow how fancy, they spell the addresses out with numbers!!

homer - get use to it honey, from now on were going to spell everything with letters


hehehe

[Odin88]

Homer Simpson: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer Simpson: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer Simpson: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer Simpson: Heh heh heh ... ooh ... yeah ... right, Lisa. But what a wonderful ... magical animal.

[Manowar]

Comic book guy : "oh the sarcasm detector, thats a REAL useful invention"- sarcasm detector explodes

[Burtman]

Here's the best site on the net for finding Simpsons Quotes, I could post all day: http://snpp.com/

- Homer's reminders to himself:
[left hand]
939
[right hand]
Lenny = white
Carl = black

Lenny: Plus, they'll put you on one of those organ donor sucker
lists. Everyone who wants an eyeball or a spine or a vestigial tail will be after ya!

Homer: Question two. Who was your last employer?
Shary: Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex.
Homer: [whispering] Marge, do we know them?
Marge: No.
Homer: Come on! Isn't he the guy I bowl with? The black guy.
Marge: That's Carl.
Homer: Oh yeah! [back to Shary] So! You worked for Carl, eh?

[ldinternet]

Hutz: Uh oh, we've drawn Judge Snyder

Marge: Is that bad?

Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog...

Marge: You did?

Hutz: Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly", and the word "dog" with "son"

[Cyndalie]

Homer: "Jesus, Buddah, Allah; I love you all!"
----

Marge: "Homer, are you licking frogs again?"
Homer: "I'm not NOT licking frogs!"