Put down the bottle, dammit.
I have known many alcoholics, hell, my mother died at the age of 45 because of drinking. Liver cirrhosis and brain damage did her in.
The one common denominator I observed is that none of them, not a one, would admit they had a problem until they hit absolute rock bottom.
From your post, it sounds like you are pretty near to that rock bottom.
So, put down the bottle and start lifting yourself the fuck up.
I know it's hard. Most things in life that are worth doing are hard. But just surrendering yourself? Not the way to go man.
You have a kid that you want to see, I guaranfuckingtee that she wants to see you. You have art that you want to make. You have life that you want to live.
It's easy to quit on life. It's easy to just go away and hide in that bottle. Like suicide, that is the coward's way out.
Stand up. Dust yourself off. Start working a plan with the first step being to seek out your local AA group. Go to a meeting. If that doesn't take, go to another one. Keep going until it makes sense. It eventually will.
You are complaining about being broke, about having no opportunities. But, I know for a fact that since the beginning of November you have had at least $1200.00 come your way. OneHungLo sent you $1000.00 form winning his bet (he says he did and I tend to believe him). I personally sent you $200 on October 31 (yes, I know I swore you to secrecy but that doesn't mean I can't mention it). Then Dugmor sent you $88.
I realize that that isn't a whole lot of money in this world BUT it is 1200 you didn't have before. Did you buy a domain and a cam script? Did you get a domain and hosting? Did you do anything with some of that money to attempt to make some more cash or did you just drink the whole thing away?
BE HONEST!!!!!
Bullshitting it just hurts you, nobody else.
If I thought you would stop drinking, I would offer up a couple of domains that you could use and I would give you some hosting. Hell, I would even make a quick and simple cam script for you, but that would all be contingent on you giving up the bottle. Since I haven't thought that you were ready to do that, I haven't offered.
Many people have offered you assistance of some sort. You have turned it down or not responded. That's on you. Nobody can help you unless you are willing to help yourself.
Get rid of your pride! Stand up for yourself! Take baby steps until you can fully walk.
GFY likes you and cares about you, as the response to your threads show, but as I said, nobody can help you until you are willing to help yourself.
Admit you have a problem. Go to AA. Get help. It will be a tough walk but if you do it, I guarantee that next year this time you will be in a much better place both mentally and physically.
We love you dude! Don't you fucking dare go away from here on us and don't you fucking dare die on us.
DAMMIT!!!!!
I have known many alcoholics, hell, my mother died at the age of 45 because of drinking. Liver cirrhosis and brain damage did her in.
The one common denominator I observed is that none of them, not a one, would admit they had a problem until they hit absolute rock bottom.
From your post, it sounds like you are pretty near to that rock bottom.
So, put down the bottle and start lifting yourself the fuck up.
I know it's hard. Most things in life that are worth doing are hard. But just surrendering yourself? Not the way to go man.
You have a kid that you want to see, I guaranfuckingtee that she wants to see you. You have art that you want to make. You have life that you want to live.
It's easy to quit on life. It's easy to just go away and hide in that bottle. Like suicide, that is the coward's way out.
Stand up. Dust yourself off. Start working a plan with the first step being to seek out your local AA group. Go to a meeting. If that doesn't take, go to another one. Keep going until it makes sense. It eventually will.
You are complaining about being broke, about having no opportunities. But, I know for a fact that since the beginning of November you have had at least $1200.00 come your way. OneHungLo sent you $1000.00 form winning his bet (he says he did and I tend to believe him). I personally sent you $200 on October 31 (yes, I know I swore you to secrecy but that doesn't mean I can't mention it). Then Dugmor sent you $88.
I realize that that isn't a whole lot of money in this world BUT it is 1200 you didn't have before. Did you buy a domain and a cam script? Did you get a domain and hosting? Did you do anything with some of that money to attempt to make some more cash or did you just drink the whole thing away?
BE HONEST!!!!!
Bullshitting it just hurts you, nobody else.
If I thought you would stop drinking, I would offer up a couple of domains that you could use and I would give you some hosting. Hell, I would even make a quick and simple cam script for you, but that would all be contingent on you giving up the bottle. Since I haven't thought that you were ready to do that, I haven't offered.
Many people have offered you assistance of some sort. You have turned it down or not responded. That's on you. Nobody can help you unless you are willing to help yourself.
Get rid of your pride! Stand up for yourself! Take baby steps until you can fully walk.
GFY likes you and cares about you, as the response to your threads show, but as I said, nobody can help you until you are willing to help yourself.
Admit you have a problem. Go to AA. Get help. It will be a tough walk but if you do it, I guarantee that next year this time you will be in a much better place both mentally and physically.
We love you dude! Don't you fucking dare go away from here on us and don't you fucking dare die on us.
DAMMIT!!!!!
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