joke thread

[brassmonkey]

why does dr pepper cum in a bottle? cause his wife is dead
how do you get a nun prego? dress her like a alter boy
how do kill a circus clown? go for the juggler

[nico-t]

stick to copying and pasting news.

[xXXtesy10]

stick to copying and pasting news.

[brassmonkey]

stick to copying and pasting news.

go hang yourself piece of shit sad your only purpose in life is to bother others god you are a piece of dog shit!!

[Colmike9]

Schrodinger's cat walked into a bar, and didn't..

[SekobA]

That made me a tickle

[2MuchMark]

stick to copying and pasting news.

[2MuchMark]

go hang yourself piece of shit sad your only purpose in life is to bother others god you are a piece of dog shit!!

Awww come on, it was pretty funny.

[Sly]

stick to copying and pasting news.

Second best joke of the thread.

Can anyone guess the first?

[2MuchMark]

Schrodinger's cat walked into a bar, and didn't..

[Sid70]

This is a joke thread: http://gfy.com/forum26/

[Mediamix]

[Colmike9]

lol

[newB]

how do kill a circus clown? go for the juggler

Hadn't heard that one.

Micky Mouse has taken Minnie to divorce court. The judge asks Micky, "So you claim your wife is insane and that's why you're seeking a divorce?"

"I didn't say she was crazy," said Micky, "I said she's fucking Goofy."

[mineistaken]

An African comes to the bar...

[TimS]

Schrodinger's cat walked into a bar, and didn't..

[sarettah]

A man walked into a bar.

Details at 11....

************************************************** *****

A talking duck, a barking cat and an SEO expert walked into a bar.

Bartender says, now wait a minute, there's no such thing as an SEO expert.

.

[wehateporn]

How much does GFY pay per Joke Thread Vs News Thread Vs Conspiracy Thread? I need to see if should get a transfer to another department

[Zuzana Designs]

What's black and never works?





























































Decaffeinated coffee you racist bastards.





































A few of my favorites.



When I get naked in the bathroom the shower gets turned on.


I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.


Why does the Avon lady talk funny? Her lips stick.


Are your pants a compressed file? Because I want to unzip them.


You should sell hotdogs. You really know how to make a wiener stand.


Have you seen Stevie Wonders Piano? Neither has he.


Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it's probably shit.


People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics.


When Hugh Hefner dies nobody is going to say he is in a better place.


Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's how I roll.

[mineistaken]

How much does GFY pay per Joke Thread Vs News Thread Vs Conspiracy Thread? I need to see if should get a transfer to another department

This information (that gfy pays) is supposed to be a secret, you outed them!!

[j3rkules]

stick to copying and pasting news.

.........

[L-Pink]

[newB]

That's good.

A blind guy is in a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a blonde joke. The bartender says "listen buddy, I'm 6'4" 250 pounds, and blonde. The person on your left is an MMA fighter and also blonde. The person on your right is an ex-con and also blonde. Do you still want to tell that joke"

"Heck no," says the blind guy, "not if I'll have to explain it 3 times."

[ErectMedia]

stick to copying and pasting news.

[EliteWebmaster]

Awesome

[TheSquealer]

How does Brassmonkey reduce his charges and prison sentence after his arrest?

He snitches on everyone he possibly can and then once in prison for his felony conviction, he snitches on everyone in the prison in exchange for privileges.

[TheSquealer]

haha.. damn!

[Colmike9]

How does Brassmonkey reduce his charges and prison sentence after his arrest?

He snitches on everyone he possibly can and then once in prison for his felony conviction, he snitches on everyone in the prison in exchange for privileges.

This joke got me banned from a Counterstrike server about 15 years ago:

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving?

The cop...

[mineistaken]

This joke got me banned from a Counterstrike server about 15 years ago:

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving?

The cop...

Server admin was:

a) mexican
b) african
c) white guilter

[Colmike9]

Server admin was:

a) mexican
b) african
c) white guilter

The way he sounded was definitely C

[Relic]

The joke is on you.

[Nitzer Ebb]

What’s the most confusing day in Harlem?
Fathers Day!

[Spunky]

And then God created Canadians:
Up in heaven God was talking to an angel about this beautiful country he was creating. He described this place to the angel.

"It will have lakes, tall mountains, as well as big trees covering the land. The air will be crisp and fresh , the water will always be clean, and the people will be the most friendly you will ever meet."

"I will call it Canada and the people living inside; Canadians."

"But God." the angel questioned, "don't you think you are being too nice to these Canadians?"

"Nope!" replied God, "Just wait 'till you see their neighbors!"

[Spunky]

Beer Festival
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery
presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would
like the "worlds best beer" a Corona
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to
him
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the
world, give me "The King Of Beers, a Budweiser"
The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with
Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
He gets it.
The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke."
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what
he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and
ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?"
The Molson's president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys
aren't drinking beer, neither would I.

[Spunky]

CANADIAN IMPOSTOR ALERT:
As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement - and then carefully note their reaction:

"Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a "shit disturber" and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, EH!"

If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they're one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once.