another funny

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • pink_in_the_middle
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2002
    • 4503

    #1

    another funny

    1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
    squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

    2. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

    3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

    6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
    coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

    8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
    10.are going to look up there anyway?

    11. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    12. What do you call male ballerinas?

    13. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

    14. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    17. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    18. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

    19. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    20. Do illiterate people ever get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    21. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

    22. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    23. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    pinkysteph AT gmail DOT com

    I'm a native english speaker from Canada with a firm ass, excellent grammar and punctuation skills. If you're in need of text for your: blog, paysite galleries, DVD covers, image cropping, content purchasing, content insertion or anything else along these lines, please feel free to give me a shout. And I’m female to boot
  • Luc Duboi
    So Fucking Banned
    • Mar 2003
    • 1881

    #2
    you are not a girl.

    Comment

    • Chris
      Too lazy to set a custom title
      • May 2003
      • 27880

      #3
      only like two of those where funny
      [email protected]

      Comment

      • The Click
        Confirmed User
        • Apr 2003
        • 1685

        #4
        i thought they where all funny.


        ICQ: 31-30-30

        Comment

        • mrthumbs
          salad tossing sig guy
          • Apr 2002
          • 11702

          #5

          Comment

          • MattO
            The O is for Oohhh
            • Feb 2003
            • 10861

            #6
            1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
            squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

            Jebadiah Croiton


            2. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

            Benedict Francois


            3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

            For frozen bread


            4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

            Frozen shit glows


            5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

            Because he was a pimp with mad bitches


            6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

            Yes


            7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
            coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

            Coconuts aren't sticky


            8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

            So you won't think you want to fuck them


            9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

            To give the woman time to tidy up her pubes or adjust her rip cord


            11. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

            That's why he's called Goofy


            12. What do you call male ballerinas?

            Lord of the Dance


            13. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

            Yes, but everything is plaid


            14. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

            He was too far for Pizza Hut to come out


            15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

            Something you failed at


            16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

            Urine


            17. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

            No, it comes from mards.



            18. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

            No, also Goatse counts as one.



            19. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

            So Little Richard can make more royalties.



            20. Do illiterate people ever get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

            Only after they shit it out.



            21. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

            Think of it as a goal.



            22. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

            Because he hates your fucking bad breath.


            23. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

            In a hospital, yes (hold it down)


            24. Why do people post lame quizzes they're emailed onto GFY?

            So we know how easily amused they are.

            Comment

            Working...