jonesy

angry dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girls mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

bronco
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.

cleveland steamer
The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.

club sped
Gang banging a retard. For those idiots out there, sped come from special ed, you do the math.

cold lunch
The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio.

couch bombing
When you fill a small Ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy it dinner first.

coyote
This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

dirty river
You give a bitch the most painful anal sex of her life and then ask her to turn around. Just as she turns you surprise her with a low blow, a punch to her lower stomach as hard as you can. Once you land the blow she will shit uncontrollably, shit will flow from her worn out asshole like a dirty fucking river. Then just sit back and enjoy the show.

dirty sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

dog in a bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

donkey punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

dutch oven
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).

flying camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.

hot lunch
The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.

mung
Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.

pearl necklace
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit.

rear admiral
An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun watching her face hit the floor. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

relative humidity
That first drop of sweat that rolls off your balls and down the crack of your sister's ass while you fuck her.

sandbag
Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well-known cliché of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.

shocker
When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)

snowball
Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you.

stranger
Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off. Eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

tea bag
To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your nut sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some kinda fucked up yoga exercise.

tossing salad
A common prison act where one person basically chows asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available. (i.e. jelly, syrup, olive oil, etc.) I'm never going to prison.

upper deck
Next time you're at the house of someone you hate, take a wicked shit in the top part of the toilet. They'll go insane trying to figure out where that stench is coming from.

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Shooting Bikini Girls

BobG

lol the sandbag