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Old 05-02-2006, 04:22 PM   #1
Deraj
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Somewhere in Between Yin and Yang
Posts: 2,790
Has anybody seen this ?

BOOTY CALL CONTRACT



This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____ day of __________, 200_, by _______________________ (hereinafter referred to as "The Pimp") and ______________ (hereinafter referred to as "My Biotch").


THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over -- unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have anything to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" stuff -- only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e., Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance -- that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted -- money is always good.

8. No baby talk -- however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers -- it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want you leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex -- it's over, so get up, get dressed and go home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care I got mine.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My cousin."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position -- the reason is less eye contact the better.

18. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

19. No phone use, please -- don't want anyone calling back looking for you.


* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until you understand the rules.


Participating Party

Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Participating Party

Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________


This is legal and binding btw
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unknown
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster. What would you have?
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Old 05-02-2006, 04:31 PM   #2
Fresh
 
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Location: LA
Posts: 4,920
no waaay, i hadnt seen that. but now i have. thanks to deraj
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Old 05-02-2006, 04:32 PM   #3
Deraj
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Location: Somewhere in Between Yin and Yang
Posts: 2,790
i'll expect to collect royalties should this be reproduced
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ICQ: 193.211.414 -

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unknown
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster. What would you have?
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Old 05-02-2006, 04:46 PM   #4
Carol@Pixipay
I have traffic for sale
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
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Posts: 1,118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deraj
i'll expect to collect royalties should this be reproduced

You blew that opportunity the minute you posted it here!
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Old 05-02-2006, 04:47 PM   #5
Spunky
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Lol ..that's great..printing now
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