The "I swallow" defense to coke charge - GoFuckYourself.com

MrMaxwell · 07-28-2011, 03:54 AM

Some real good ones in this thread

http://tdcaa.infopop.net/4/OpenTopic...m=45830203 57

A new twist on "second hand smoke"
Years ago, the late Jimmy James was sitting as a visiting judge in the court to which I was assigned. I had a defendant who was on a ten year probation for PCS and hadn't managed to do very well. At the hearing on the motion to revoke, I presented evidence she had violated a variety of conditions, including failing to report, failing to work at suitable employment, failing to pay various fees, and continuing to use cocaine while on probation.

She testified and actually provided what appeared to be very persuasive explanations for her various failures. However, I noticed the defense attorney did not ask her to explain the multiple UA results that were positive for cocaine metabolite. Naturally, I was curious and explored the issue on cross.

She swore she had not been using cocaine, but her boyfriend used it constantly. I asked her if she expected us to believe she had gotten cocaine into her system as if it were "second hand smoke." She said, "Of course not. Cocaine isn't like that." I told her I didn't understand what she was getting at. She paused and then said, "Well, my boyfriend and I are very ... active."

I just kind of sat there. Judge James perked up, looked down at her, and, in his signature impatient tone of voice, slowly asked, "Are you saying that your UAs were positive because you had sex with your boyfriend?"

She looked up at him and, after a moment, said, "Well, I swallow."

It was the only time I ever saw Judge James at a loss for words. After another long pause, he looked at me, and I just said, "I'll pass the witness, Your Honor."

CurrentlySober · 07-28-2011, 04:03 AM

But did she like... Also 'suck off' the judge?

MrMaxwell · 07-28-2011, 04:05 AM

There's another one on there where this mexican guy robbed a liquor store and killed everyone, then, had the whole scene tatted on his chest... That is how they caught him.. they saw it on there when they had him in for some other minor shit

CurrentlySober · 07-28-2011, 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

minor shit

I like... Oh wait!

Maybe I dont...

BittieBucks Eric · 07-28-2011, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

There's another one on there where this mexican guy robbed a liquor store and killed everyone, then, had the whole scene tatted on his chest... That is how they caught him.. they saw it on there when they had him in for some other minor shit

That was all over the news

MrMaxwell · 07-28-2011, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BittieBucks Eric

That was all over the news

It even said in big black letters "jose kills"

Ha ha ha

MrMaxwell · 07-29-2011, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BittieBucks Eric

That was all over the news

You're right.. it's everywhere

http://www.thesmokingjacket.com/humo...-tattoo-arrest

07-28-2011, 03:54 AM	#1
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	The "I swallow" defense to coke charge Some real good ones in this thread http://tdcaa.infopop.net/4/OpenTopic...m=45830203 57 A new twist on "second hand smoke" Years ago, the late Jimmy James was sitting as a visiting judge in the court to which I was assigned. I had a defendant who was on a ten year probation for PCS and hadn't managed to do very well. At the hearing on the motion to revoke, I presented evidence she had violated a variety of conditions, including failing to report, failing to work at suitable employment, failing to pay various fees, and continuing to use cocaine while on probation. She testified and actually provided what appeared to be very persuasive explanations for her various failures. However, I noticed the defense attorney did not ask her to explain the multiple UA results that were positive for cocaine metabolite. Naturally, I was curious and explored the issue on cross. She swore she had not been using cocaine, but her boyfriend used it constantly. I asked her if she expected us to believe she had gotten cocaine into her system as if it were "second hand smoke." She said, "Of course not. Cocaine isn't like that." I told her I didn't understand what she was getting at. She paused and then said, "Well, my boyfriend and I are very ... active." I just kind of sat there. Judge James perked up, looked down at her, and, in his signature impatient tone of voice, slowly asked, "Are you saying that your UAs were positive because you had sex with your boyfriend?" She looked up at him and, after a moment, said, "Well, I swallow." It was the only time I ever saw Judge James at a loss for words. After another long pause, he looked at me, and I just said, "I'll pass the witness, Your Honor." Last edited by MrMaxwell; 07-28-2011 at 03:56 AM..

07-28-2011, 04:03 AM	#2
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,551	But did she like... Also 'suck off' the judge? __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

07-28-2011, 04:05 AM	#3
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	There's another one on there where this mexican guy robbed a liquor store and killed everyone, then, had the whole scene tatted on his chest... That is how they caught him.. they saw it on there when they had him in for some other minor shit