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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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12-26-2004, 05:12 PM
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#41201 |
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Guy on Street #1: Well, you tell me. Louie left his house at 2:15 and had to travel a distance 6.2 miles traveling at a rate of five miles a hour. When will Louie get here?
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12-26-2004, 05:12 PM
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#41202 |
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Guy On Street #2: Depends if he stops to see his ho.
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12-26-2004, 05:12 PM
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#41203 |
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Guy on Street #1: That's what we call a "variable".
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12-26-2004, 05:13 PM
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#41204 |
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Peter Griffin: You remember that time I was supposed to get that boat?
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12-26-2004, 05:13 PM
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#41205 |
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Peter Griffin: [cut to previous scene] A boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat! You know how much we wanted one of those!
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12-26-2004, 05:13 PM
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#41206 |
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Confirmed User
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Lois Griffin: [cut back to present scene] Peter, that happened ten minutes ago.
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12-26-2004, 05:14 PM
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#41207 |
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[while eating a pancake]
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12-26-2004, 05:14 PM
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#41208 |
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Stewie Griffin: OH. mmm yes oh god this is better than SEX.
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12-26-2004, 05:14 PM
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#41209 |
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[Quagmire tries to hit on some women at a lesbian bar]
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12-26-2004, 05:15 PM
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#41210 |
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Glen Quagmire: Hey, any of you ladies been penetrated?
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12-26-2004, 05:15 PM
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#41211 |
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[looking at himself in a spoon]
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12-26-2004, 05:15 PM
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#41212 |
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Tom Tucker: I'm sorry but there's a handsome man in my spoon. You'll have to come back later.
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12-26-2004, 05:15 PM
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#41213 |
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Lois Griffin: What's going on?
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12-26-2004, 05:16 PM
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#41214 |
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Stewie Griffin: We're playing house.
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12-26-2004, 05:16 PM
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#41215 |
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Lois Griffin: The boy is all tied up.
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12-26-2004, 05:16 PM
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#41216 |
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Confirmed User
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Stewie Griffin: Roman Polanski's house.
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12-26-2004, 05:17 PM
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#41217 |
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Confirmed User
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Stewie Griffin: [after Lois tries to feed Stewie his broccoli "airplane style"] Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers.
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12-26-2004, 05:17 PM
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#41218 |
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[the Griffins have inherited a mansion. Stewie is being waited on]
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12-26-2004, 05:17 PM
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#41219 |
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Stewie Griffin: You. Cut my eggs.
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12-26-2004, 05:18 PM
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#41220 |
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[waiter cuts his eggs]
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12-26-2004, 05:18 PM
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#41221 |
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Waiter: Your eggs are cut sir.
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12-26-2004, 05:18 PM
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#41222 |
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Stewie Griffin: Now cut my milk.
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12-26-2004, 05:19 PM
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#41223 |
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Confirmed User
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Waiter: Uh, I can't sir, it's liquid.
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12-26-2004, 05:19 PM
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#41224 |
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Confirmed User
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Stewie Griffin: [slaps him] IDIOT. Freeze it, then CUT it. And if you ever question me again, I shall put you on diaper detail. And believe me, I will not make it easy on you.
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12-26-2004, 05:19 PM
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#41225 |
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[At a job interview]
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12-26-2004, 05:20 PM
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#41226 |
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Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
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12-26-2004, 05:20 PM
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#41227 |
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Peter Griffin: [Thinking to himself "Don't say doing you wife. Don't say doing your wife."] Doing your, uh, son...
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12-26-2004, 05:20 PM
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#41228 |
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Stewie: [plucks a banjo] Oh! I feel so delightfully white trash! Mummy, I want a mullet!
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12-26-2004, 05:21 PM
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#41229 |
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[an extremely obese Peter and Brian are sitting on the dock]
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12-26-2004, 05:21 PM
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#41230 |
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Boy: Daddy, what's that?
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12-26-2004, 05:21 PM
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#41231 |
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Father: Well son, that's Mercury, the closest planet to the sun. What it's doing down here on the wharf I haven't the foggiest, we should probably go ask a scientist.
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12-26-2004, 05:21 PM
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#41232 |
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Confirmed User
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Peter Griffin: I'm a man jackass.
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12-26-2004, 05:22 PM
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#41233 |
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Confirmed User
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Chris Griffin: Yo, did y'all check me when that hottie was all up in my Kool-Aid? Yeah, I was looking to break off a little somethin' somethin' but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and she's all about the bling-bling.
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12-26-2004, 05:22 PM
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#41234 |
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Brian Griffin: I'm really enjoying playing golf.
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12-26-2004, 05:22 PM
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#41235 |
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Peter Griffin: You know my great-great-grandfather Angus Griffin invented the game.
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12-26-2004, 05:23 PM
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#41236 |
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[flashback]
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12-26-2004, 05:23 PM
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#41237 |
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Confirmed User
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Angus Griffin: So, we're all clear on the rules then. No Jews and no blacks.
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12-26-2004, 05:23 PM
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#41238 |
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Scottish men: Aye.
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12-26-2004, 05:24 PM
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#41239 |
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Confirmed User
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Stewie Griffin: Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.
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12-26-2004, 05:24 PM
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#41240 |
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Confirmed User
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Peter Griffin: Dad, now that you're retired, you're staying with us. No arguments, I'm putting my foot down.
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12-26-2004, 05:24 PM
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#41241 |
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Confirmed User
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Francis Griffin: I don't want to be a bother.
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12-26-2004, 05:25 PM
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#41242 |
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Peter Griffin: It's no bother, is it Lois?
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12-26-2004, 05:25 PM
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#41243 |
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Lois Griffin: Of course not, we'd love to have you stay.
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12-26-2004, 05:25 PM
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#41244 |
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Francis Griffin: You're a good woman, Lois. Perhaps you won't burn in Hell after all. Maybe you'll just go to Purgatory with all the unbaptized babies.
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12-26-2004, 05:25 PM
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#41245 |
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Peter Griffin: You hear that Lois? You love kids.
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12-26-2004, 05:26 PM
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#41246 |
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Peter Griffin: Say, what happened to the car wash thief?
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12-26-2004, 05:26 PM
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#41247 |
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Joe Swanson: Ironically, I severed his spine when I landed on him.
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12-26-2004, 05:26 PM
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#41248 |
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Peter Griffin: Looks like you got more competition at next year's special people's games, huh?
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12-26-2004, 05:27 PM
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#41249 |
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Confirmed User
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Joe Swanson: Nope, he's dead.
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12-26-2004, 05:27 PM
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#41250 |
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Jim: What did you just call me?
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