What do you say you do, when respectable people ask?

[pentae]

Assuming your asked by someone who you can't be honest with, like your girlfriends parents, family friends, devout catholics,

what do you say when people ask what you do? and if so, do you carry a business card to back up this fictional story?

This should be an interesting thread

[MaDalton]

the only people i don't tell the truth is homeland security

[Jdoughs]

At parents day (career day once as well) I am a web developer who focuses on generating traffic for hundreds of sites, products and services. I don't 'sell' anything, I specialize in generating buyers and eyes.

And in reality it is completely the truth. No need to lie, and no need to hide anything. The average Joe businessman will also not divulge everything his job entails. And the local janitor at the school tells his friends he is a 'custodian' not a guy who scrubs shitty toilets and picks boogers off lockers all day.

[NBBCash Matze]

I would say online marketing (advertising) for several products and costumers. Webmaster and costumer support for websites too . To not that shy people I say adult online marketing. Other jobs (not my) are maybe traffic trader and domain brokers. I wouldn't lie if someone would like to know more because it's just a job and someone hast to do it (sorry was a insider joke between collegues at last convention)

[u-Bob]

got an offline computer biz so that helps

[cherrylula]

respectable people dont ask people what they do for a living.

[Scott McD]

Web designer!

[Raf1]

I used to have this problem before I opened up my printing company. Now I just say I'm in the printing business and give them a card. Before I would usually just say online marketing and try to avoid more questions

[Agent 488]

the conversation usually goes like this.

"i do internet marketing."

"porn, eh?"

[ThumbLord]

Internet Business is what I tell them.

[k0nr4d]

rape reduction technician

[rowan]

the conversation usually goes like this.

"i do internet marketing."

"porn, eh?"

Mine go more like this...

"I do internet marketing"

"OH! You'll have to show me how to set up a website!!"

[Iron Fist]

"I make money off girls who think they aren't hookers but someone decided to call them a model and took a couple pictures of them getting their brains fucked inside out... yeah I get half and I don't even have to get naked. Cool huh?"

or

"I run a couple websites..."

[Nicky]

No biz card I just say I am doing search engine marketing online or even that I do marketing for the larger dating sites.

[Nicky]

Mine go more like this...

"I do internet marketing"

"OH! You'll have to show me how to set up a website!!"

yep, that's why I stopped saying that. Got swamped with friends of friends / parets etc wanting a website for their dog or horse or what ever

[CaptainHowdy]

I work as an online homeless...

[quantum-x]

Database programmer. Most people stop there, or when you say you do merchant API database optimisation, eyes glaze over.

[kristin]

the conversation usually goes like this.

"i do internet marketing."

"porn, eh?"

Sounds about right.

[rowan]

yep, that's why I stopped saying that. Got swamped with friends of friends / parets etc wanting a website for their dog or horse or what ever

And they all think that a website (including a backend that can accept sales) takes about 5 minutes to set up, and runs itself......

I just laugh politely then tell them that I don't design websites for clients, I just make them for myself.

[munki]

Database programmer. Most people stop there, or when you say you do merchant API database optimisation, eyes glaze over.

[Bryan G]

rape reduction technician

[Serial Pervert]

You know, I'm a girl and I'm only 19.
I told to my parents, they don't like that I'm working at a porn site, but all my friends know, they think that's funny. XD

[Barefootsies]

Depends.

Web developer to people's parents, and the bank.

Producer for online company to others.

I do not have a standard answer.

[TheDoc]

I often say I debug snips of bank code for regional banks.

I don't say this because I work in porn though, I say it because I don't want to go through 30 minutes of q&a about my life.

And if your religious, I will always tell you what I do, just to see the reaction.

[CynBabes]

If you're worried about it, set yourself up a mainstream type web design company website, when people ask what you do, tell them web design, if they want to see your site point them to that. At worst you might make a little extra cash, if you really don't want to do web design ask outrageous prices and if someone is still willing to buy, cash in.

[AaronM]

I don't know any "respectable" people.

If I did, I tell them to mind their own fucking business. ;)

[fatfoo]

I walk around on the street and people call out randomly, "he's fatfoo from gfy."

[Tom_PM]

I worried about this until I realised that nobody really gives a shit. Your mileage may vary of course. If you get stuck, you could always stammer charmingly and say that you hadn't thought up a good lie yet.

[Poindexterity]

i never lie or obfuscate what i do for anyone.
if they got a problem, they need to fucking grow up.

[Poindexterity]

sorry for double post

[shonuff72]

i run an internet empire!