Jessica Alba - Robert De Niro - STEVEN SEAGAL (!) - Michelle Rodriguez - Don Johnson ALL in 1 movie
 

This most be the worst Tarantino-esque B movie ever, even more then Planet Terror
which is on its own, quite an achievement :upsidedow

Anyone seen this movie > Machete ?



Looks cool to me!

I was expecting it to be absolutely horrible but I saw it and I loved it. Pointless, lots of action and cheesy humor. If you are expecting an Oscar award winner this movie is not for you. If you like cheesy one liners and over the top action then I would recommend it.

Looks better in the trailers than it actually is, but I still enjoyed it. Started out amazing, but then it gradually gets to the point where you are just waiting for it to end. Probably would have been better if they would have cut about 15 minutes worth of uninteresting subplots out of it.

Basic flick. Crap.

Saw it and agree with that review 100% :thumbsup

^ i agree. I saw it in the theater but probably should have just waited till it hit on demand.

+1 :thumbsup

Can I compare it to Planet Terror? If so, then I think this will be a couch movie rather then a theater movie for me.

Saw it last week. Very violent, bloody, gory, sexy and a good movie. Unrealistic of course but fun!

So Seagal was in a movie with females and made it out without a sexual harassment suit?

I thought it was awesome.

Awesome movie.

I thought it was great. I might be able to agree with the "not as good as i expected" statement, but I still enjoyed it thoroughly. If I had to compare it with Planet Terror, I think I'd have to give Planet Terror a couple points up on Machete though.

Pretty lame trailer, was expecting more.

Agree with that really.

Also looks really cheaply made but not in a bad way.

Can't be worse than THE AMERICAN.

Wow Clooney drinking espresso.....wow again....6 times? riveting.

It was originally supposed to be one of the "Grindhouse" movies that came out a couple of years ago. Matter of fact, the trailer for it was played at the beginning of the Grindhouse movies. :)

I loved it. I had high expectations and they were met.
It was everything I could want in a classic throwback grindhouse flick...it was equal parts valentine to grindhouse movies and it's own big silly explosion movie.

I agree with sentiment of trimming some subplots.

Some of my favorite moments
MILD SPOILERS

- Lindsay Lohan's extremely obvious body double in the menage a trois scene
- intestine used as rope
- Steven Segal's final fight with Machete
- Robert DeNiro hamming it up
- "Machete improvises"
- cell phone in the cooter
- showdown in She's house

Fuck it I am going to see it. GF is going shopping, I am going to grab my flask and see it.

As far as I understood, the original trailer that played at the beginning was just a joke clip to play along with the movies as a mock trailer to go along in the style of Death Proof and Planet Terror. The public interest in the clip, and people's demand to see it as a full length feature led them towards making a movie out of Machete. I remember when I first saw the cli myself and thought "fuck i hope that's a real movie". I looked high and low back then and as far as anyone knew at that point, there was never any intention of them making it a real movie.

Thanks for this review, now I'll definitely have to check it out.

saw it .. nothing special sorry

I thought Death Proof was a bit rubbish. Found this much better.

Death Proof was the worst of the 3. What killed Death Proof was the overly drawn out dialogues. Fuck, that opening scene went on for fucking ever. Death Proof was not Tarantino's most shining moment. The half hour chase scene at the end made it all worth the watch, but overall it was lacking a little. Rodriguez made all the deliveries in the whole Grindhouse thing...

Its boring - it should have been funnier but the novelty runs off fast. Better than Planet Terror, but not as good as Deathproof.

Great reviews guys! Going to see it with NO expectations what so ever ... I heard Steve Seagal dies in this movie, FINALLY HE DIES in a movie lol

That's impossible!

Not really. It WAS a trailer from the Grindhouse movies, but was NEVER supposed to be part of the movie.

It was made into a full length feature due to the overwhelming response from fans of the "fake" trailer.

It's also not considered part of the Grindhouse double feature.

QTF :thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup

I just watched it.

BEST. MOVIE. EVER.

I liked it

It looks a little naive to me but what the hell, I will watch it.

We already knew that but thanks anyway.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:1orglaugh

That's the perfect way to see it
this is the perfect buddies n beer type movie

no matter what you say: I HAVE to see it

and i am happy for Danny Trejo that he finally got a lead - after doing hundreds of small roles

Looks good

i like Danny Triejo
The getaway driver from "Heat"

This movie was fun!


I liked it a lot.

I watched it last night, and I was very impressed with it ...

If you are not a fan of Robert Rodriguez movies, then this probably does not have alot to offer you, except a shitlode of blood, guts, tits and ass .... but if you are a Robert Rodriguez/TroubleMaker Studios fan (The Desparado Trilogy, From Dusk 'Til Dawn, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Grind House, Planet Terror ...), this movie most certainly delivers the goods!!!

I saw is and I liked it.
Not the best movie ever though :)

Daniel Trejo has been a wonderfull second line actor for years, we've seen him in a lot of movies and he deserved a main character.

Unfortunatelly he is 66 now, not the best age to become a star.

I'm going to watch this this week. Looks cool.