Is there such thing as true friendship?
 

I have always thought I have some true friends. But now I don't feel like this anymore. I mean I know them many years now and I have always though I can count on them anytime I need them. But with time they have changed. One of them for an example doesn't have time to meet me when I'm in our country. I were fucking 3 weeks in my homeland and he had no time to meet me. He said he was already turn up for some private parties and he didn't find an hour to meet me... Another one of my so called friends can't do for me even the smallest favor like giving me a lift to somewhere even I if I would give him money back for the fuel... Not so long ago I spend whole 7 days for him to make him a website don't asking for anything in the return... I did it for free and even bought some stock images for it that he picked up spending my own money. Before that I also went to bat for him to get him a good job (he was one whole year in this job doing basically nothing - surfing the web, occasionally once or twice a day advising customers (like 15-30 minutes of work) the rest of 8 hours he was spending like he wished) Now it's almost impossible to get any job in Poland due the crisis so I think that he made a huge mistake dropping it. He wanted to earn more money so now his unemployed and his parents have to support him. He said he owns me something and I got tons of free beer whenever we met.... but now he doesn't even have time for me as well and he doesn't have money for beer cuz there are more important things to spend for now he says.... wtf....... I did a lot for my friends anytime they were asking me for a favor I've been dropping everything else and helping them... now they don't have an hour for me.... even a completely strange to me people I've met on my life pathway helped me much more than my so called "best friends"...
I feel betrayed. I feel like canceling their phones numbers and not talking to them anymore.

What do you think about it?

i understand you are mad, but who will know what problems are on his head, did you try to talk about that?

A "true friend" doesn't do favors expecting to see a personal return on those favors. You do them because they are your friends. When I do things for my friends, it's not because I expect something back from them. I do it just to help, no questions asked. :2 cents:

It depends on what you understand by true friendship, but unfortunately, there's no such thing as true friendship, it's simply not in our human nature, even though we like it or not.

Yes, I've never expected anything in return. I'm more surprised than mad, well, maybe a bit mad too. I know they have time (I read their aim numbers signature descriptions and it looks like they are partying most of the time ) but they don't have time for me... I think that one or two hours just to meet me is not much.

You are, and will always be, your only true friend.

Grow a pair of balls and stop whining. sheesh sounds like a woman complaining about her boyfriend.

Yes there is, but I suspect you are too young to understand its meaning.

Hahahaha.... yeah, it looks like so... well, there is also my girl who is almost like myself. She understand me without words and she would jump in the fire for me. But this is not friendship this is love. :pimp

there always will be assholes who called themselves as a friends.Fuck`em and move on.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/c...4054576.column

Wear Sunscreen.

I might be young but I've been to things that most even aged people were not, believe me or not. My life is like a one crazy story that no one has even smallest idea about it. I think I will write a book about it later when I will get old. Anyway, I never judge others for any reason. I judge only their doings when I feel I got enough knowledge about them.


Ok, the end of crying for today I've just thought I will share a bit of my thoughts with GFY. All in all it's a beautiful day today, I feel like going for a little walk or something! :winkwink: :thumbsup

Those don't sound like friends... those sound like people that know how to walk all over you. ;-)

By any chance do you have women problems as well?

Hahaha... no, why did you ask? I know my girl since many years now and I live with her more than two years now, I feel like we love each other stronger and stronger with every single day if it's even possible. I will marry her one day. I knew I will marry her since the very fist they I saw here... believe it or not. I know she would do for me anything I asked her anytime. :winkwink:

Is there such thing as true friendship?

I'm 36, and would say that I have only known 2 people (outside of family) in my whole life that would drop everything and do something at my request.

Know plenty of utter parasites though :mad: It's human nature to only do things expecting something in return and that is hard to get people to break away from.

I have 3 friends, real friends
One I've known since the cradle
One I've known since the Navy
One I've known for over 15 years
They have proven time after time that they are friends, I rarely ask anything from them, but when I do, they are there for me and I'm there for them.
I feel pretty good I have that many real friends.

I know a lot of people, I have a lot of friends, but these 3 I trust completely

Once again to make it clear I posted what I did for one of them not to say like I want anything from him in the return but to describe what kind of friend I've been always to them. I don't want anything from them lol. I just wanted to meet them, that's all and they have no time for me because they are parting with others. This is why I feel disappointed.

I'll still, after all those years put my hand in fire for at least four people, there are some more recent people I enjoy and trust, but we haven't been through anything intense together.

One I know ever since I was six and he was supposed to beat me up, childhood friends.

I was a weirdo buried in books, he was the popular guy that was in sports and that everyone liked, totally different people yet extremely close to each other. Not like we'd be in all that frequent contact since he's studying medicine now and has basically no spare time, so it's just a phone call or a short beer here and then, knowing his family since I was a kid, he's like a part of the family.

One I know ever since I was nine, spend the childhood together, played in a band before I left my hometown, now finally after all those years hanging out again time from time, knowing his family well, almost a part of the family.

One I know since the college, borrowed him a Led Zeppelin CD in my freshman year, then we went for 7 beers and are lifetime friends ever since, I know his family very well and often stayed at their place, was even dating his sister for a short time, can talk about anything in the world together, almost like a family

One I know for like 6 years now, my only true friend in Prague, helped each other in tough times, we were both on the edge at certain point and always could rely on each other, knowing his family very well, almost like a family

It takes a mutual respect, and I'd never dare to even think about not trusting them, that would be a major dishonour.

As AMP said it's not about favors, if someone's playing the "favors" card it has nothing to do with true friendship, and those people usually don't have true friends, since they always "expect" others to be grateful or etc.

You might have answered your own question here. If you really have a crazy life filled with all kinds of wild things going on, you are probably someone with drama in their life. I would never have a very good friend that has constant drama in their life. It sounds more like these people are casual friends, not real friends, but if your life continues to be crazy, you will probably find it hard to make real friends.


I have a bunch of casual friends, people I hang out with from time to time and do things with and like, but I wouldn't count on them in an emergency.

On the other hand I have a few "real" friends. These are guys I have known since I was a little kid. We are all very close. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they would be there for me no matter what. These are guys I would step in front of a bullet for and I know they would do the same.

I ask because often times girls will walk all over a guy, never respect him and only be friends... no offense, but that's what it seems like with your friends. If they don't want to spend time with you, just move on and make new friends. Don't bend over backwards like you did for people. Nothing wrong with helping people out, but they need to help themselves as well. No friend would have ever expected you to spend a week of your time building a website for them with nothing in return.

I have friends... we pay each other back, always. People that don't reciprocate are not friends, they are leeches. A friend doesn't need to ask a friend for help, they should each simply know it's their duty.

Is there such thing as true friendship?
 

Get a dog.

Only in the military.

the only friends i trust are ones who have participated in blood rituals with me at midnight during a full moon. the rest are just acquaintances.

I guess you're a true friend, and I'm sure there are more people like you :)

I remember this saying I heard several years ago....

"If, in your lifetime, you can count on one hand the amount of true friends you have had, consider yourself a lucky man."

No...I find they are all just using you.

Took a while to find out myself. Everyone would always ask me for help or ask me to do their dirty work. But when I needed a favor they have nothing.

Exactly, well said :thumbsup

I have 4 good friends I have known for 20+ years. One from college, and one from an old job, and 2 from grade school. Two of them you NEVER loan money to. At least anything over $100.00. Other than that, they are all true friends to me.

Whenever I have called on them for a ride, help with something like moving, among other things. They have always come if possible (unless out of town, working, vacation, etc.). They do not expect anything in return, and there is rarely a disagreement or conflict.

I have had many other so called 'friends' in my life that I have gotten rid of. Those who leach on to you because you have money, nice car, nice things, and that appears to be the sole motivation to being around. They would constantly be asking for 'favors' but were never around when you needed the simplest of one's in return. Those who would ask you to float them, and then when they did not pay back would say, "You can afford it", type of shit.

Needless to say, when I returned home from college I did a mass friends house cleaning and had gotten rid of 5 so-called friends (leaving me with these 4) and have been much happier. I do not care for drama/gossiping/backstabbing and I do not like one way friendships.
:2 cents:

No, and I would try somehow structurizing such a long post, cus it looks like a filler. How old are you? 23?

Nah, I'm a few years older than 23.

True friends are hard to come by but people in general tent to have and ebb and flow when it comes to personal priorities, morals, etc. People go through selfish periods, up times, down times, and so on. If someone's in a dick phase just phase them out a bit till they come back around.

I've had primarily the same core group of friends since I was 13 and I turn 30 this year. We've been through alot and we've all gone through our own shitty self centered periods where at one time ot another and in one way or another each of us wasn't the best friend we could have been all the time. Its impossible to know and understand all the different factors effecting someone's personal state of being, so you gotta cut people some slack. Not saying be a doormat, but just because one of your mates doesn't drop everything for you when maybe they should have at least made an effort don't flush your friendship over it. Like Amp said, don't go tit for tat, real friends don't keep scorecards. These friends may be preoccupied with their own lives right now but might come around later on and be real friends when you might need them more than they need you.

Yes, there are people who still put their friendships up par with family, if not higher.

People's priorities change over time, though. You need to be willing to give a little as well; try to setup times to hang out.

Also, paragraphs are your friend.

I was thinking a bit and well, I came to the conclusion that they were different in the past, while they were in school, surrounded by many different people and personalities. I think there is something those two have in common. They've always had an easy life. I mean they have rich parents. They have always have lots of girls and they have always had problems with every another girl. I think they are now closed to other people and they live in their very own worlds with very specific environment of rich people and easy life. This could be a possible explanation. I haven't put a red cross on them yet though, but I'm not sure if these friendships have any future if they won't wake up. I think like that because I have three another better friends that are still there… and those never had an easy life. They had to work hard while they were studding to earn money for accommodation and their parents are not rich at all. Yes, I have many friends but only 5 of them I were treating as ‘best’ friends. I know each of them more than 10 years.

I really wish but it is seems to be impossible to setup times... I told them I'm free anytime and we can go anywhere they want but they have no time at all. The only way to meet them seems to be uninvited visit.

I always consider people that depend on their friends as stupid. Really.. it was already stated here, that you are your only and best friend.

As for the dog.. yeah, it?s your friend, until you try to take away it?s bone :disgust