Anxiety cripples me before I go to a convention....
 

Anxiety cripples me before I go to a convention....

I know many people see me as an outgoing guy but when I haven't traveled in a while the thought of meeting people and what they will say to do to me is crippling. Esp considering the events of this last year.

In reality I see very few people in my day. My GF, my dog, maybe visit my parents so my dog can see them for 20 mins (he loves them and their dog) - and if I'm lucky some store clerk. That's about it. The rest of the time I'm cooped up in my house working, sleeping, eating, pooping or watching TV. Boring life. (actually the same life I had before bankruptcy and before i got into the bar biz). I like it like that and honestly I do LOVE the travel and the people from this industry.

I guess you could call it fear. Maybe I mask it by forcing myself to get in peoples faces but in the end I feel this monster lurking over my back waiting to crush me. I understand the feelings others have about meeting people, I get them myself. It's why I try my best to introduce myself but sometimes I fall prey to my comfort zone and stick to those I know. Honestly one of the best people I know for forcing them self to get out of this 'comfort zone' is Brad Mitchel. I give him a lot of credit for having the guts to just get out there and introduce himself to strangers. He's inspiring.


anyway, just want to vent and say I won't be able to sleep tonight worrying about what to do at this show, and that might make things worse for me tomorrow (Saturday)

But I'm looking forward to this and hoping for the best.

Thank you AaronM for the flight and for letting me stay with you!
Thank you Evil Chris and AVN for your incredible hospitality.
Thank you Brad, Dmoney, Mike and Fade for the dinner Invites and players ball invites.

onward - Vegas baby Vegas.......

what if everyone there laughs at you? have you seen them lately? maybe they have changed while you have got worse?

would make me worry myself.

Welcome to the life of a recluse. I am right there with ya.

xanax....works 4 me......:helpme

go grab some morphine and a six pack. fuck it.

A good therapist can help with that. A lot of people have fears, hell I hate large crowds.

What do you do with Skufty when you're gone?

Im sorry I only read the title and first 2 lines. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? I was a shy girl in high school, got in porn at 20, was timid as HELL at first!!! BUT the first thing i learned, the people in porn that matter, the people you want to be around, these people are the coolest people you will ever meet. Grab your dick and go if it isn't to late for you!!! Have some fun and lose your complex

"The lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh is not of God but of the world. Those who are friends with the world are enemies of God" - James & John

thank you for making it worse. :(

I absolutely HATE tight crowds and usually avoid them at all costs. I like small groups with space to breath.

my girlfriend is taking care of him, and when she's working he stays at my parents - they like about 8 houses away from me.

i don't deny that for a second. I know 100's and 100's of people in this industry, but the anxiety is still there.....

Do as I do, observe the Yes-Signals, and ignore the rest... :thumbsup

I know what you are saying to some extent, since I operate pretty independently, and I already communicate with everyone whom I need to do business with via the phone and internet. I fret more about not getting some of the work done that I would prefer doing, so I generally try to set up work while at shows.

For me, adult tradeshows are more of a vacation and reunion. I spend very little time on the show floor, and instead focus most of my time shooting content (since several content girls usually attend). Other than that, I enjoy the good local restaurants and sights, and then I spend my nights bullshitting at parties with old friends and business associates.

I'm always happy to get home and back to business on my workstation...

A tradeshow I actually love attending is MacWorld in San Francisco which usually takes place in January, but will be in February this year.

That show offers some incredible hands-on training, and I always come away with lots of ideas and inspiration.

Be sure rap knuckles with me in Vegas, if you see me (I stopped shaking hands since the swine flu epidemic thing)...

:drinkup

ADG

spoken like true content... save the adult conversations for adults...

i have anxiety, but its maore stress related than social..

i do keep a few trusty clonapins in my pocket when i travel..

i dont get anxiety once i am there, i get anxiety getting ready to travel...

scott, you already threw it all out on the table and adult is a very forgiving industry..

maybe not on the boards, but face to face most of the adult guys are introverts at best and dont have the balls to say what they post to your face..

so, take a xanax and get on the plane and you will be fine...

i swear to god its either something in the water or associated with blow and e, but i have so many friends that have anxiety these days, it cant believe how common it is...

def come say Hi!

actually it's not the plane or the travel that gives me anixiety. I have no problems there.

the worst for me is when I'm about to go into a room or area with people from this biz and have to meet and talk to them and I have no idea who i'm going to run into.

you already hit rock bottom.. why do you care? you have no place to go but up...

sure, you may not be able to play pimp like once before, but guess what... you are not alone..

face your fears and you will see its a small fraction of what you have built them up to be..

I usually try and face them, doesn't mean the anxiety isn't there though.....

Perfect example of how most pencil-necked douche webmasters in this industry deal with their social anxieties: they don't know how to talk to women, so they turn to their buddies and say, "let's not talk to her . . . she's just content".

You score your bro-points for being a misogynist and can avoid the most stressful conversations of all: the ones with women (who if you haven't noticed are often also sponsors, producers, directors, photographers, etc.).

*****

Note: I seriously had that happen to me once at a conference: one little punk turned to the other who was trying to ask me what I do and interrupted to say, "you don't need to talk to her . . . SHE'S JUST CONTENT".

So yeah . . . take heart, Sleazy: no matter what, I'll bet no one will say that to you (or in front of you; the guy made a point of not making eye contact with me while he said it, whispering in the other dude's ear across a table from me)! It's really dehumanizing; on a board that's one thing, but to experience it in person -- unbelievable.

I do too. I see a great therapist. Meds can help to a point, but I think therapy is also a great help. You get to the issue of what is making you anxious and how to fix it. Just something to think about.

all I can say is when someone points a finger 3 are pointing back at them. :thumbsup

I generally just face my anxiety and just avoid tight crowds. I see no real benefit to them.
I don't like medicating myself.

uh huh....bump for sd

Good for you. Facing your fears is the way to go. You are a nice guy, and if anyone says anything to you about filing for bankruptcy, fuck them. I think anyone that gets off on the pleasure of another persons pain is a jackass. I personally feel sorry for people like that.

You really believe that shit? Duh.

Duh, I posted it didn't I? Yes I believe it. Unlike some of the tools on here, I post what I mean. I don't just post to get a higher count. :thumbsup

How does it feel to be a sucker?

How do you feel being a troll? Not sure why you have a hard on for Sleazy but I don't think he is interested. Move on. :winkwink:

one born every day.....

get some xanax or valium... just parade around in a pink thong with ur big belly hangin out and jigglin everywhere with yessignals.com body painted and an arrow pointing to ur lil weiner and u will be the coolest person there then u will have no anxiety or worries.

:thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup

Come on, even sleazy wouldn't do that. What are you thinking?

goto a clinic get some happy pills and you'll be fine. Kicking them is a bitch though..lol

So Billy, that begs the question...why would you want to kick them?

just like I thought..... you're a junkie.

explains a lot though.....

Come on buddy, you can do better than that. Pathetic. I might have to give up on you and watch tv or something.

sleazy if u want to make everyone talk about ur site and brand it right do what i said :) do some yayo too for some extra pep and bullshittin u need to do

i wasn't trying to insult you - just pointing out that I can see that you have a problem and probably should look at getting some help for it. There's no shame in self improvement and you'll live a better life if you make a change.

lol I hate being Dependant on substance, but that's just me.

lol sorry dude but perhaps you should repeat that statement in the mirror. After seeing how you handled some of the constructive criticism people gave you about your new site you're far from one who should be preaching.

perception is one thing - reworking a lot of what was in that thread into the site actually.

Ohhh i hate being at the internext show, simply hate it and cant wait to leave every damn time.

Well OK, last year i had a great time but then again we were 6 of us there which made it a lot more fun....but still...

I would never EVER treat anybody like that.

And on that other topic, filing for bankruptcy does not make somebody a failure.

Sleazy makes all this shit up to attention whore, then sits back and laughs at the responses.

Different thread, same tactics, year after year.

It's getting boring.

Btw, most people are probably laughing at you behind your back, some to your face. I wouldn't go.

You're right correcting spelling mistakes is a hard task. ;)

I have anxiety issues too. That crippled with always having been pretty rubbish at small chat with strangers doesn't help. I am not totally sure where it comes from because once I know people I think I give pretty good chat :) Something in me just always assumes they will be more together, cooler,etc than me.

The best times I had at conventions were with Tofu by my side because he has NONE of those worries and would break the ice for me and then I was fine.

Some of us are just more shy than others and this work 'cuddles' us by allowing us to ration who we deal with face to face. However, it also makes it worse when we have to actually emerge from our dens.

Go pick up "How To Win Friends And Influence People" By Dale Carnegie and read it on the plane ride down.

Are you ragging on her for being honest about only reading the first two lines? Fuck man that is pretty weak if you are, especially generalizing the statement towards content models. The so-called 'webmasters' around here are far worse for doing it.