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-   -   Artie Lange Suicide Attempt (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=947198)

ajrocks 01-07-2010 09:26 AM

Artie Lange Suicide Attempt
 
The Howard Stern show is been crappy without Artie and now we know why hes been away....


The New York Post's Page Six is reporting this morning that the abrupt hospitalization of Artie Lange last weekend came after a suicide attempt.

Lange, a comedian and Howard Stern sidekick, has not spoken publicly since. Stern alluded to, but did not read the Page Six report Thursday.

From the report, posted early this morning:

"Troubled comic Artie Lange was hospitalized Saturday after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post."

"Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said."

"Lange sustained six 'hesitation wounds' and three deep plunges."

"A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mom had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding."

At first, an obviously shaken-up Stern said he would read the Artie Lange story, then changed his mind several times before deciding not to.

"I'm sorry. I just feel sick about this, I don't know what to do," he said.

Stern talked about the troubled Lange for about 15 minutes. He referred to Lange's troubles with substance abuse (the cause of his absence from the show since early December) and reminisced about his early appearances on the show.

At times, Howard Stern almost sounded like he was eulogizing his sidekick, which he realized, adding, "I don't want this to sound like a eulogy."


I doubt he'll be back on the show. Crap!

Sebastian Sands 01-07-2010 09:33 AM

damn.. 6 hesitation wounds.. I would stop after one.. sounds like he was determined.

burntfilm 01-07-2010 09:36 AM

Yeah, it's cool being the life of the party when you're in your 20's or whatever, but it gets old when you do. I always liked this cat, he was fun in "Dirty Work" which sucked so bad that it was awesome. Hope he can get his shit together and live a longer life.

baddog 01-07-2010 09:38 AM

WTF? A cry for attention? Who stabs themselves to death? Tough way to go.

billywatson 01-07-2010 09:38 AM

Poor Artie. I love that guy...I hope he gets help.

seeric 01-07-2010 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog (Post 16723904)
WTF? A cry for attention? Who stabs themselves to death? Tough way to go.

Yah no shit huh.

The way that guy loves booze and drugs, I can see many more ways for him to go out painlessly.

Eat a handfull of xanax bars and do a bunch of coke. Boom! See ya later.

Sounds like a "Woah is me, everybody love me" type of deal.

If he wanted to end it, there are very easy ways to do it with things that he likes a lot.

:Oh crap

WebairGerard 01-07-2010 09:48 AM

wow I hope Artie gets the help he needs.

Agent 488 01-07-2010 09:52 AM

funny bastard though.

Lord Voldemort 01-07-2010 09:57 AM

if you're going to stab yourself go for the carotid arthery. There's no saving you after that

sweetcuties 01-07-2010 10:01 AM

Wow, very sad... I'm a fan of his work :2 cents:

bronco67 01-07-2010 10:26 AM

If he was serious, he would have jumped from a 10 story window head first.

Jayvis 01-07-2010 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeric (Post 16723934)
Yah no shit huh.

The way that guy loves booze and drugs, I can see many more ways for him to go out painlessly.

Eat a handfull of xanax bars and do a bunch of coke. Boom! See ya later.

Sounds like a "Woah is me, everybody love me" type of deal.

If he wanted to end it, there are very easy ways to do it with things that he likes a lot.

:Oh crap

:2 cents: :2 cents:

He just needed new material for his next book.

TyroneGoldberg 01-07-2010 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeric (Post 16723934)
Yah no shit huh.

The way that guy loves booze and drugs, I can see many more ways for him to go out painlessly.

Eat a handfull of xanax bars and do a bunch of coke. Boom! See ya later.

Sounds like a "Woah is me, everybody love me" type of deal.

If he wanted to end it, there are very easy ways to do it with things that he likes a lot.

:Oh crap

i think he knew his body has a high tolerance to drugs. it would take a pound of raw or a bullet in the mouth

undersoul 01-07-2010 12:43 PM

he's a funny guy. hope he's ok.

Pleasurepays 01-07-2010 12:50 PM

I'm not a huge Howard Stern fan.. but the fact of the matter is that Artie Lange was an alcoholic and heroin junkie who flat out refused to get treatment/help until recently.

He, along with Howard and particularly Robin, spent all kinds of time attacking Dr Dru (an addiction specialist who runs a drug addiction treatment center) for stating that Artie needed to be hospitalized and desperately needed therapy and treatment and would fail with almost 100% certainty, trying to beat heroin on his own they kept claiming he was doing.

Maybe they should have listened to the doctor who has dealt with 1000s of similar cases, instead of attacking him repeatedly on air and that dumb turd wouldn't be trying to stab himself to death.

:2 cents:

seeric 01-07-2010 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TyroneGoldberg (Post 16724170)
i think he knew his body has a high tolerance to drugs. it would take a pound of raw or a bullet in the mouth

good point.

seeric 01-07-2010 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays (Post 16724608)
I'm not a huge Howard Stern fan.. but the fact of the matter is that Artie Lange was an alcoholic and heroin junkie who flat out refused to get treatment/help until recently.

He, along with Howard and particularly Robin, spent all kinds of time attacking Dr Dru (an addiction specialist who runs a drug addiction treatment center) for stating that Artie needed to be hospitalized and desperately needed therapy and treatment and would fail with almost 100% certainty, trying to beat heroin on his own they kept claiming he was doing.

Maybe they should have listened to the doctor who has dealt with 1000s of similar cases, instead of attacking him repeatedly on air and that dumb turd wouldn't be trying to stab himself to death.

:2 cents:

really? i knew he liked coke, but never knew he did heroine.

ouch.

uno 01-07-2010 12:56 PM

i hope he's ok and gets treatment. My lawyer used to be good friends with him. I'll see if he's talked to him.

WDchris 01-07-2010 12:58 PM

waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Pleasurepays 01-07-2010 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeric (Post 16724617)
really? i knew he liked coke, but never knew he did heroine.

ouch.

I just happened to catch that period where they were constantly ripping into Dr Drew. For simply saying he needed to be in a facility and needed treatment. Then it became a "thing" where everyone was asked about it in interviews. But yeah... booze, coke and heroin.

He has some huge problems and it could only end by him killing himself one way or another and it was just a matter of time. It was really weird listening to all of them mock Dr Drew as if he had no clue what he was talking about and at the same time, enable Artie and his drug abuse by helping him rationalize everything.... and do that, knowing he was an addict who desperately needed help.

seeric 01-07-2010 01:05 PM

http://i45.tinypic.com/otk8br.jpg

sorry had to.

seeric 01-07-2010 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays (Post 16724646)
I just happened to catch that period where they were constantly ripping into Dr Drew. For simply saying he needed to be in a facility and needed treatment. Then it became a "thing" where everyone was asked about it in interviews. But yeah... booze, coke and heroin.

He has some huge problems and it could only end by him killing himself one way or another and it was just a matter of time. It was really weird listening to all of them mock Dr Drew as if he had no clue what he was talking about and at the same time, enable Artie and his drug abuse by helping him rationalize everything.... and do that, knowing he was an addict who desperately needed help.

Damn, thats nuts. Heroine is baaaaaaaaad news.

shermo 01-07-2010 01:08 PM

I guess he didn't get the memo about the Jugular vein.

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude 01-07-2010 01:14 PM

I used to like him on MadTV:



Sad to hear about his downward spiral... :Oh crap

He's a comedian, so I think it would have been more appropriate for him to try and stab himself with a pork chop than a knife. :upsidedow

http://www.audiobooksonline.com/medi...Audiobooks.jpg

Get well Artie...

ADG

kane 01-07-2010 01:44 PM

I listen to the show every day and Artie has had some serious issues for a while. As others mentioned Dr.Drew has been on their show a few times and told Artie he probably wouldn't succeed in getting himself sober on his terms. For a few months he has claimed to be sober and going to therapy and attacked Drew saying that he was wrong and Artie felt he was doing good. Maybe he was and fell back off the wagon and maybe that was all bullshit.

He has had some serious drug issues for a long time and Artie himself has said that he never has hit rock bottom. The more he fucks up, the more success he has. Maybe this will be the bottoming out he needs so that he will get into a serious rehab and take the time to focus on himself and really dealing with his problems.

I like the guy and think he is funny as hell. I hope he gets better.

CIVMatt 01-07-2010 02:07 PM

Artie isn't funny and he's not that great on the show... wtf stabs themselves?

themadwriter 01-07-2010 02:25 PM

sad that some people will go to the extent of stabbing themselves as a solution to life's trials and tribulations!

babymaker 01-07-2010 02:49 PM

he's so fucking fat now i doubt he hit any vital organs lol what an easy life too sit in a chair and talk about dumb whores a few hours a day and make shitloads of money, dont feel too bad for him.

The Heron 01-07-2010 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by babymaker (Post 16724989)
he's so fucking fat now i doubt he hit any vital organs lol what an easy life too sit in a chair and talk about dumb whores a few hours a day and make shitloads of money, dont feel too bad for him.

The irony in this statement makes me laugh... posted on an adult webmaster board :1orglaugh

fris 01-07-2010 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CIVMatt (Post 16724852)
Artie isn't funny and he's not that great on the show... wtf stabs themselves?

juggling chainsaws is a better idea

babymaker 01-07-2010 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Heron (Post 16725126)
The irony in this statement makes me laugh... posted on an adult webmaster board :1orglaugh


:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

True :)

kristin 01-07-2010 03:57 PM

Dang, he must have really wanted to feel himself die.

Deej 01-07-2010 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog (Post 16723904)
WTF? A cry for attention? Who stabs themselves to death? Tough way to go.

I have heard of people straightening out a saftey pin and stabbing themselves in the heart repeatedly until they died...

People do crazy ass shit...

Mutt 01-07-2010 04:05 PM

The irony of Artie is that bit he does about celebrities 'WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH' ing their way through life is exactly what he is and does, he's a classic overweight comedian who for whatever reason hates himself. Artie worships John Belushi and has spent his adult life trying to emulate him. Stabbing himself, another wussy cry for attention, i'm gonna bet he knew his mother was going to be stopping by. And there's another clue to his problems, he's 40 years old and his mother and sister still take care of him. He's a momma's boy and I think all the drugs, booze etc is some immaturity to prove he's not.
Howard profits off a lot of very fucked up people - when Hank the Angry Dwarf died I lost a lot of respect for Howard. He loves his misfits like Hank and Artie because they make his show entertaining, Howard is a master puppeteer, he gets off on Artie's misery and acting out, that's probably why him and Robin dismissed what the doctor said about Artie needing to be hospitalized - the truth is that if Artie did clean himself up he probably would be unfunny and uninteresting. As Artie says, the more fucked up he is, the more success he has. He's smart enough to know that people like him because he's a trainwreck and his worst fear is not being liked/loved.

it's a stereotype with overweight funny people but it's definitely a real thing because so many of them exist.

Storm_Tracker 01-07-2010 04:13 PM

WTF? Artie ?? are you fucked up bro or what?

You work with Howard making tons of cash and you pull a stunt like this..

You fucking loser!

Go :321GFY

matrixfred 01-07-2010 04:31 PM

Why Artie, Why?!?! :(
I hope Baby Gorilla gets well and the help he needs soon!

HandballJim 01-07-2010 04:42 PM

I think once he gets on some medication and years of thearapy...he will say WTF I had a good job and money...and start to love life.

matrixfred 01-07-2010 04:50 PM

...Don't worry Artie! More good times to come!
http://www.howardstern.com/dtcms/img/RS-DSC_0108.jpg


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