I have a stupid tech question
 

ok, try not to make fun of me...

I have a dedicated windows server with cPanel. How can I remote desktop in and see the desktop? It's not as easy as putting the IP in remote desktop...I never used it so I'm a moron when it comes to this shit. Is this something I have to do to the server first?

You should be able to use a remote desktop sharing application. There are a few of them out there. Logmein offers a free version that may suit your needs: https://secure.logmein.com/US/products/free/

Probably best to ask the host that is hosting it, some hosts have it disabled, or run it on a non-standard port...

why would you run cPanel on a windows server?