Relationship Bathroom Dump Schedule Advice?
 

Okay this is serious shit.

Isn't the bathroom supposed to be a sacred place like the Dome of Rock or Moses and his Burning Bush or something?

You're standing over the toilet and your girlfriend comes walking in for whatever reason. I mean this is a no-no, right? I mean, of course, now it's okay if I walk in on her but like, UGGGHH! Are you fucking kidding me? First, you're sitting, so I don't know if you're taking a crap or what? You think I want to walk in and start shaving with all that stink coming up in my face? PLEASE!!!

I mean fuck all this no secrets bullshit! I'm going to walk in on her with a video camera and pretend I was shooting something but this excited me so much I couldn't help myself. Either that or leave the toilet seat lifted so she can fall in again and let out that bitching shriek of hers I've grown so fond of...

Lock. The. Door.!!!

Oh, dude, you're opening up a can of worms I can't even begin to get into...

NEXT..?

I lock the door of the bathroom even when my wife is outside the house. I feel secure when the bathroom door is locked.

Lock the damn door dude - if she tries to enter you scream at a horrifying schriek that this never happens again hahaha.

A locked door means you are trying to hide something. :1orglaugh

No, it means you want privacy.

You could be snorting lines or jerking off? Not me of course, but maybe you? Who knows, right? :1orglaugh

Just tell her you don't want her watching you when you fucking shit. We all have our moments when we need privacy.