Am I a over protective mom?
 

My 13 year old son has friends spend the night almost every night since it's summer, usually 4 or 5 friends every night. I'd rather have a house full of kids then not know what my son is up to. BUT tonight, he called me and asked me if "Jessie" could spend the night. I asked who that was, and it was a GIRL!!!! I told him no, and he was furious! Am I just being over protective? I don't think so....... He said they where just friends, but I still don't think that's ok at this age? Am I wrong?

Unless Jessie is obviously dykish...

I think you made a good choice :)

Good luck. Would be a no from me but everyone's different. Family advice on GFY is fun. LOL

That's very hyprocritical of you. You work in the adult industry but forbid your son to have sex? Fuck that noise. You should buy the boys a big pack of condoms and tell them to enjoy their gangbang.

make sure you make them breakfast and slip an afterpill into her corn flakes

Would be a no from me at that age.

Though I remember the first time my parents allowed a girl to stay the night. The girl slept in my room, while i was on the sofa (at the other end of the house ofcourse) and my parents were right smack dab in the middle.

I remember using the bathroom at some late hour and came out to find my mom standing there....scared the shit out of me. "Just making sure you hang a right" she said to me...(left goes my room, right goes to the sofa)

Then i remember waking up some hours later, half asleep, no idea what time it was and hearing my moms voice faintly say "Just making sure you're hanging a left"

...hahahahaha...i was pissed... but it did put a smile on my face. God bless her...

My parents were totally opposite...I brought home 2 girls once, and in the morning my mom and dad had smiles on their faces ear to ear

When I called his dad to tell him about it, he started laughing and said, Jessie was his girlfriend not long ago! LOL I try to respect my son, but he's still my baby! lol He's only 13! I asked what the girl's mom thought, and he said she didn't care.....another problem! :( I finally got all kids asleep......so I'm off to sleep too! I just wanted to see what others thought of this too!

Even as an adult if I brought home a girl I would be sleeping on the floor or the couch, even if we were married.

My parents are NOT cool with that kinda shit at all. I could very rarely have guy friends stay over.

Even so though there's no way I would let my kid have a friend of the opposite sex spend the night - it's just going to create a huge problem where you have these massive preteen orgies going on in your house because none of the other parents let them have coed slumber parties and you're the "cool mom"


Though if you do, the cornflakes idea would come in handy.

You may want to verify that with her. Parents are usualyy even more protective when it comes to girls. Especially dads do not like the idea of their young daughter sleeping woth a guy.
So get on the phone and call the girls daddy and the situation might be solved without you getting the blaim. Lets call it tactics.
:)

At 13 he is old enough to have female friends and even date but only with supervision. I think not allowing him to have her sleepover is mean unless you're not going to be there. He's only a year or two away from normal dating age.

I would say no.. after all we were all 13 once and no what its like. Some of us still think we are :1orglaugh

You're a pimp. Did you bang them? :winkwink:

Sleep well, you made the right choice in my opinion :thumbsup

Well I know what I was like at 13 and based on that I can assure you that you made the right decision for sure. I just found out last week that my 13 year old sister has a boyfriend and I am still kinda in shock. I know that 13 is about the time when they start getting interested in the opposite sex and all but I still see her as a little 4 year old kid, I guess it just hard to believe that she is growing up so fast, and the fact that I am getting older just as fast :helpme

Don't sweat it though your son may be mad at you now for a time but in the long run he will thank you for it, especially when he is 23 and doesn't have a 10 year old kid :winkwink:

kids are such sluts these days.

Let him fuck. (or he'll remember you)

:)

I would do the same :)

if you don't allow it at home they do it in the woods

I went camping with my girlfriend and her family when I was 13. She was a little perv too, and we spent most sneaking off to fool around every chance we could get. By the end of the week, we'd both lost our virginity. You might have made a good call. :winkwink:

No, that would be classed as good parenting, what would be classed as bad parenting would be asking advice on how best to bring up your children, on a forum that has some of the biggest retards, weirdo's, freaks and out and out nut jobs that have ever managed to be collected all in one place. Of which 99% have a mental age of your 13 year old :2 cents:

It seems a bit... pointless. You could just have let her spend the night, and have them sleep in separate rooms.

At that age, if they're gonna have sex with each other, they'll do it regardless of an opportunity like this one. Being around to make sure things don't get out of hand is always a good thing. And meeting your son's girlfriend and having a chat with her helps, too.

More important, though, is having "the uncomfortable talk" - the one in which you don't just explain to your son the dangers of unsafe sex, but also the reasons why it's important to take things slowly and wait until he's a bit older.

Do you have kids?

its hard i get that same question from my daughter - my answer is no.do you say stuff like My house my rules - gawd i hate feeling old

maybe you should let him

I think you made the right choice. When he's much older he will look back and understand why you made that call. He will also have a new found respect for you.

Just a humble opinion from a father of two sons 21 & 23

Nope.

And the reason for that is that when I was a teen, my mother made sure I was fully aware that sex was something I needed to approach in a responsible manner.

If you give them permission, they'll never learn stealthiness and sneaking out skills.

:helpme:winkwink:

When I was 13 I went to spend the night at a friends house. It was a guy and there was going to be a few of us.. My dad said he would dive me over. ON the way, he told me that he would rather have me spend the night with girls, than boys..

Now that I am a father, I think that I agree with him.

I would rather have my son touching a girl than a boy so... I guess the big thing is education. Teach him and you wont have any problems.

Where is the silent paternal "NO"??

sounds like your dad was worried you were gay or something? weird. parents encouraging kids to have sex at 13 is pretty fucked.

What the fuck kind of dudes were you hanging out with?

Or better yet... what kinda slumber parties did your dad have.. jesus christ thats odd for him to say...

I would say NO also, not appropriate at his age to bring a GIRL at my house.

it depends on what kind of kids they are

Sometimes opening a dialogue is the best way to stop kids from doing the crazy stuff. If you turn it into a taboo, you're right, they'll run out and find ways to do it anyways. Best to discuss things in a mature and open manner, kids learn too much. The stuff I've heard from my children that has been discussed on the elementary schoolyard is enough to scandalize most adults. Better to nip it in the bud with honest conversation than to let it take root and spread like a bad weed.

Exactly.

Teens are curious about this sort of thing, and will learn about it one way or another. If you talk with them, at least they'll be able to make an informed decision, and set boundaries.

Something I'll never forget: when I was a teen, there was a girl in my group of friends who was raised by a very religious family. At one point, she got a boyfriend, and they had sex after a while. Since the experience sucked, she came to her friends for advice. Our first question: "did you use a condom?" Her answer: "... ... what?"

May as well lie to your kids about the real world so that when they grow up they see that you lied to them, hate you for it and end up doing everything to an extreme to make up for lost time.

then you can sit back and tell yourself "how good of a mother i am" "i would do anything for my kids" "i dont know where they went wrong" as little johnny is out smoking crack getting a girl pregnant at 17 and you have no idea why.

but no dont let a girl stay over it's pure evil.

alot of you people are the biggest idiots i have ever come in contact with. you will be the first types to talk about how religious nuts are but then you are the typical closet hover parent.

What do reglious nuts have to do with not wanting your kid to have a kid while he is still a kid? You can teach them all the shit in the world but when it comes down to it, if they are that young, they won't use protection because they will be too embarassed to get it/ask for it. Would you give your 13 year old condoms?

I would have probably done the same

You obviously don't have kids. Using your logic banks should just let bank robbers rob banks since they are going to do it anyways. It doesn't matter if the sneak off and do it. Setting down rules that must be followed is not a BAD thing for kids to learn. In grown up world you get told NO very often. He might as well learn that now.

I am sure you're a decent mom who makes good decisions. If I were you my answer would be no, but it depends on the kid too, your relationship with him and "trust factor" as well.

Another tard that doesn't have kids trying to tell parents how to be parents. It's always easy looking from the outside.

wtf does having a friend that is a girl have to do with condoms?

OVER PROTECTIVE

you think like that because you are indeed a closest religious nut on your views.

and ill play into your statement for a sec, wtf makes you think that if they want to have sex they wouldnt of done it already? and by somehow making it wrong to them it helps them want to look for use of condoms?

Good choice, you don't want your 14 year old turning into a 15 year old father in 9 months.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

when i was 13 i was all about touching boobies and playing truth or dare... which lead to me loosing my virginity at 14 in woods in a tree house :1orglaugh

If you really think its perfectly fine for 13 year olds to be fucking, have fun raising kids. If they have already done it or not makes no difference. A parent shouldn't make it seem like its ok. This doesn't mean to demonize sex. Just make them realize that they are way too young and immature to be doing something that comes with very adult consequences.

I don't think it would have been a big deal honestly. You are right there with them the whole night.

Trust me, if your son wants to bang her, he's not going to ask you if she can sleep over first. ;)

My daughter has gone to co-ed sleep overs.

I've armed her with information and condoms, so if she happens to have sex, which.. all of us do eventually.. I know I've done everything I can to prepare her and help her protect herself.

Are you seriously trying to compare having sex to robbing a bank?

If your kid ends up robbing banks, you probably failed as a parent. If your kid eventually has sex, your kid is human.

The job of a parent is not to stop his kid from having sex, the job of a parent is to make sure his kid is aware of the consequences and risks involved, and knows to wait until he or she is (mostly) ready emotionally.

Have you ever heard the story about the teen who chose not to have sex because his parents told him not to? Neither have I, since it never happened. But on the other hand, there are many teens who choose to wait a bit a bit longer because they don't think they're ready yet.

The goal you want to achieve is a kid who waits until he's 16 or 17 and in a steady, long-term, monogamous relationship with someone he really likes before having sex - while using full protection (both the pill and condoms). If you do well, your kid will even come to you with questions - something that definitely won't happen if the only thing you say is "no".