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-   -   I Think I Witnessed A Murder Tonight (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=908083)

mikesinner 05-31-2009 05:30 AM
I Think I Witnessed A Murder Tonight
 
I was walking down the street and heard some blood curdling screams and a woman yelling help me!!!, no!! and a bunch of other stuff I couldn't understand. It sounded like it was coming from a house. It was loud enough that the guy across the street was outside his house. He called the cops after we both agreed that it sounded bad but then I remembered I had a warrant for not going to jury duty so I took off home.

Now I feel bad. I could hear the cops yelling down the street for someone to drop something. I'll have to check the new tomorrow.

brassmonkey 05-31-2009 05:43 AM
hahahaha!!!

CDSmith 05-31-2009 05:45 AM
I was all set to come in here and call you captain save-a-hoe

but I see that's out.

Diomed 05-31-2009 05:59 AM
Don't check the news.

brassmonkey 05-31-2009 06:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diomed (Post 15910962)
Don't check the news.
dont answer the door when the detectives come around

SilentKnight 05-31-2009 06:11 AM
Why'd you skip out on jury duty?

Jack Sparrow 05-31-2009 06:57 AM
I was watching tv. Sorry for having it to load there bro.

JFK 05-31-2009 06:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diomed (Post 15910962)
Don't check the news.
Hide under the bed :helpme

John-ACWM 05-31-2009 10:22 AM
I guess you'll find out soon.Don't take it too hard.

HandballJim 05-31-2009 10:52 AM
you can call the cops and ask to remain anonymous...just don't call from your cell or home phone...use a pay phone.

As far as jury duty...the key is never answere a jury duty notice...ever. After several attempts each letter telling you your going to get fined, bla bla bla....is bs. There is no proof you ever received the notice in the 1st place.

I avoid going due to missing time at my job, my boss gives me way too hard of a time missing work...since I open and close the building. But if I had a different job I would go...and try to give someone a fair trial.

brassmonkey 05-31-2009 02:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentKnight (Post 15910975)
Why'd you skip out on jury duty?
that shit looks boring i did a mock one for a major food chain they paid very well tho

wtfent 05-31-2009 02:44 PM
I'm taking it you've never been married. :winkwink:

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude 05-31-2009 02:52 PM
http://icanhascheezburger.files.word...-flamingos.jpg

Doesn't sound like you witnessed anything if you only heard a woman scream and cops shout.

You apparently don't even know if it was a murder... :2 cents:

ADG

San 05-31-2009 02:52 PM
i just forwarded this thread to the FBI

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude 05-31-2009 03:11 PM
BREAKING NEWS...

FLASH - Couple Embarrassed When Police Break In On Them - Man Arrested

(AP) A man was arrested today for making a false Police report which caused Police to break in on a husband and wife in the middle of a sex act.

Apparently, the caller was a Peeping Tom who thought a woman was being assaulted, but it turns out that the couple had run out of lube, so when the husband tried to insert his unlubricated penis into his wife's anus, she initially screamed out "Help Me" and "No", as well as some other unintelligible words.

When the Police broke down the door they shouted "Drop It", and just as they did so, the husband ejaculated into his wife's anal passage. "I've never seen an anal creampie quite like that, and I see plenty of anal creampies in this line of work", a visibly shaken veteran police officer told reporters.

The Peeping Tom, whose name surprisingly turned out to be Thomas Peepers, was issued a citation for filing a false police report, and is expected in court once the City can find enough people to fill the jury.

Crime solved!!! :thumbsup

ADG

voa 05-31-2009 04:45 PM
That is very strange man, never happened to me i just watch on tv

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude 05-31-2009 04:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by voa (Post 15911975)
That is very strange man, never happened to me i just watch on tv
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...69/tv_snow.gif

ADG

Martha_WildCash 05-31-2009 07:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude (Post 15911990)
my eyes !!! :Oh crap

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude 05-31-2009 07:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikesinner (Post 15910933)
I was walking down the street and heard some blood curdling screams and a woman yelling help me!!!, no!! and a bunch of other stuff I couldn't understand. It sounded like it was coming from a house. It was loud enough that the guy across the street was outside his house. He called the cops after we both agreed that it sounded bad but then I remembered I had a warrant for not going to jury duty so I took off home.

Now I feel bad. I could hear the cops yelling down the street for someone to drop something. I'll have to check the new tomorrow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude (Post 15911851)


BREAKING NEWS...

FLASH - Couple Embarrassed When Police Break In On Them - Man Arrested

(AP) A man was arrested today for making a false Police report which caused Police to break in on a husband and wife in the middle of a sex act.

Apparently, the caller was a Peeping Tom who thought a woman was being assaulted, but it turns out that the couple had run out of lube, so when the husband tried to insert his unlubricated penis into his wife's anus, she initially screamed out "Help Me" and "No", as well as some other unintelligible words.

When the Police broke down the door they shouted "Drop It", and just as they did so, the husband ejaculated into his wife's anal passage. "I've never seen an anal creampie quite like that, and I see plenty of anal creampies in this line of work", a visibly shaken veteran police officer told reporters.

The Peeping Tom, whose name surprisingly turned out to be Thomas Peepers, was issued a citation for filing a false police report, and is expected in court once the City can find enough people to fill the jury.

Crime solved!!! :thumbsup

ADG
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude (Post 15911990)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha_WildCash (Post 15912114)
my eyes !!! :Oh crap
It's better than the Sunday night TV line-up... :2 cents:

ADG

brassmonkey 05-31-2009 07:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by San (Post 15911823)
i just forwarded this thread to the FBI
im hope you joking

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude 05-31-2009 07:26 PM
http://imagecache.allposters.com/ima...Jr-Posters.jpg

Efrem Zimbalist Jr is following up on this thread as you are reading it... :warning

ADG

papill0n 05-31-2009 07:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude (Post 15911851)
BREAKING NEWS...

FLASH - Couple Embarrassed When Police Break In On Them - Man Arrested

(AP) A man was arrested today for making a false Police report which caused Police to break in on a husband and wife in the middle of a sex act.

Apparently, the caller was a Peeping Tom who thought a woman was being assaulted, but it turns out that the couple had run out of lube, so when the husband tried to insert his unlubricated penis into his wife's anus, she initially screamed out "Help Me" and "No", as well as some other unintelligible words.

When the Police broke down the door they shouted "Drop It", and just as they did so, the husband ejaculated into his wife's anal passage. "I've never seen an anal creampie quite like that, and I see plenty of anal creampies in this line of work", a visibly shaken veteran police officer told reporters.

The Peeping Tom, whose name surprisingly turned out to be Thomas Peepers, was issued a citation for filing a false police report, and is expected in court once the City can find enough people to fill the jury.

Crime solved!!! :thumbsup

ADG
WTFFFF!!! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude 05-31-2009 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by papill0n (Post 15912135)
WTFFFF!!! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
Thanks Ben...you are Ben, right?

I used to write for a comedy zine when i was in College - I didn't make money at it, but it sure was fun to hang out and riff at the campus pub with the other writers.

It actually takes time to come up with stuff like that. I was getting bummed that nobody appeared to be actually reading it. :1orglaugh

:drinkup

ADG

papill0n 05-31-2009 07:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude (Post 15912147)
Thanks Ben...you are Ben, right?

I used to write for a comedy zine when i was in College - I didn't make money at it, but it sure was fun to hang out and riff at the campus pub with the other writers.

It actually takes time to come up with stuff like that. I was getting bummed that nobody appeared to be actually reading it. :1orglaugh

:drinkup

ADG
yes mate that is me :D

ADG you are one funny fucker for real! :1orglaugh

I for one appreciate it when posters take the time to construct a good post. I always enjoy your images and that post seriously made me laugh out loud :thumbsup

SilentKnight 05-31-2009 09:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude (Post 15911851)
BREAKING NEWS...

FLASH - Couple Embarrassed When Police Break In On Them - Man Arrested

(AP) A man was arrested today for making a false Police report which caused Police to break in on a husband and wife in the middle of a sex act.

Apparently, the caller was a Peeping Tom who thought a woman was being assaulted, but it turns out that the couple had run out of lube, so when the husband tried to insert his unlubricated penis into his wife's anus, she initially screamed out "Help Me" and "No", as well as some other unintelligible words.

When the Police broke down the door they shouted "Drop It", and just as they did so, the husband ejaculated into his wife's anal passage. "I've never seen an anal creampie quite like that, and I see plenty of anal creampies in this line of work", a visibly shaken veteran police officer told reporters.

The Peeping Tom, whose name surprisingly turned out to be Thomas Peepers, was issued a citation for filing a false police report, and is expected in court once the City can find enough people to fill the jury.

Crime solved!!! :thumbsup

ADG
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:thumbsup

raven1083 05-31-2009 09:27 PM
hahahahaha that was really nice.

the.drunk 05-31-2009 09:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude (Post 15911851)
BREAKING NEWS...

FLASH - Couple Embarrassed When Police Break In On Them - Man Arrested

(AP) A man was arrested today for making a false Police report which caused Police to break in on a husband and wife in the middle of a sex act.

Apparently, the caller was a Peeping Tom who thought a woman was being assaulted, but it turns out that the couple had run out of lube, so when the husband tried to insert his unlubricated penis into his wife's anus, she initially screamed out "Help Me" and "No", as well as some other unintelligible words.

When the Police broke down the door they shouted "Drop It", and just as they did so, the husband ejaculated into his wife's anal passage. "I've never seen an anal creampie quite like that, and I see plenty of anal creampies in this line of work", a visibly shaken veteran police officer told reporters.

The Peeping Tom, whose name surprisingly turned out to be Thomas Peepers, was issued a citation for filing a false police report, and is expected in court once the City can find enough people to fill the jury.

Crime solved!!! :thumbsup

ADG
:1orglaugh:upsidedow:thumbsup


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