I finally caught up with my daughters boyfriend
 

Finally I found out from my daughter where her boyfriend was hidding, She told me as long as I promised not to beat him up.

To cut a long story short I did have a good chat with him (once I finnally got him to open the door that was) and he is now going to see a doc. I also found out that he had been smoking the green stuff and had stopped because of the baby. I dont know if this caused him to get aggresive towards my daughter or not.
She is still staying with us until he has sorted his head out with the doctor, so we are now waiting on what the doc suggests.

You should be having a talk with your daughter to get over the "love" with someone abusive, and concentrating and giving her child all the love it needs.

Why did he stop because of the baby? Cant he just smoke outside? Obviously he will be more relaxed if he smokes but thats still no excuse for beating her up (only excuse for that is if she hits him first then its fair game).

Good for you for talking to him without killing him :thumbsup

are you a guy or a girl?

This is the first time it has happened and they have been together for over 4 years. I think he would have been abusive towards her a long time ago. They have their arguments like any other couple but this is the first time he has done something like this. They are both going to the doc whom I suspect will send them both for counselling.
In an ideal world two people in love would be perfect but it aint.
Im sure that they will both work this out with the support of both the docs and our family.

whats his medical problem?

There's something wrong with his medulla oblongata.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=VF5PyeMG8Lo

He chokes her and says he is going to kill her, and she needs to go to a doctor?

I don't get it...

He stoped because my daughter did not want him around the baby while he was stoned.

He needs to continue smoking the reefer to mellow out

The unfortunate thing about that is the first time is never the last. So now you're going to be sitting around waiting for the next time to come along and hope it isn't as bad as the last...

There is no acceptable excuse for hitting a woman.

well, let's hope he sorts himself out and doesn't do it again.

She was shouting at him telling him that he was lazy and did not help with the baby. And he retaliated by doing what he done. They both need to sort this out together. They both need to work together not argue over whos doing what

When the wife comes down on me for not helping out around the house, it never breaks out into a shouting match where I choke her.

How old are they? (serious question)

YUP:thumbsup

He knows if he ever does something like this again that I dont care if I get put away for my reactions. Its a hard situation and very frustrating as a father to try and sort this shit out. If I had my way I would have beat him up but most prob lost my daughter in the proccess. At least this way we can keep an eye on both of them.

It sounds like they are still kids themselves, probably Jeremy Kyle material in a few months.

she shouldn't shout at him, that's something that a lot of women need to figure out, but that still doesn't give him carte blanche to get physical with her. He should have just left the room.

Sometimes at my house this ends up in the bedroom with a xxx throw down.

Nah, he might be alright.

I'll admit, when ya first have kids and are getting used to all the BS and new life and shit, people can be out of control...

10 years ago me and the wife pretty much got into a fist fight after a drinking night out after a year of nothing but baby shit, diapers, colic , saying good bye to our old free lives etc.. people can be unpredictable in such situations and under such stress ( especially when quitting dope/addictions )

We haven't laid a hand on each other since, even though back in the day everyone was saying " if he's done it once, he'll do it again " etc.

To be honest, she's more of a threat than I am now adays :1orglaugh

Looking back on that night, I dunno WTF we were doing.

We got in some stupid argument over nothing, we were yelling and screaming and she locked me out of the apartment, so I kicked down the door and we got into a good boxing match, totally outta control lol, cops came, drove me far enough away I would calm down before I came home and that was the end of it.....

daughter is 20 and he is 21

too young to have kids anyways

plus the drug thing...

man, i'm happy that i don't have kids. i should look up that vasectomy thing again

Yep thats what I told them when they planned to have one.
I thought it was tough enough bringing them up when they were younger but its all worth it in the end and I would be lost without them now, plus I have a lovely grandaughter and she is as cute as hell..I love her to bits

good for you dude! i'm glad you got this moving in a responsible direction, and i think when the kid realizes that you were able to restrain yoruself from killing him, he can work on restrainnig his bullshit

I'm thinking of getting one anytime soon...

Hope things will go good for you man

please everybody kill everybody

I bet he could kick your old ass anyway, unless he's a pussy for his age

You are a better man than me. Good luck to your family.

aww, I think u have made good choices.

Life isn't easy as it is, being that young and having a little baby on top of everything, has got to be insane! I waited to have kids and started at 33, it was tough even for my age. I can understand her wanting him to quit the pot, it's easy to get forgetful while smoking it, like derailing. They both need someone they can talk to and work thing's out, learning to control stress and anger.

Then if that works out, let's just hope they can live with each other "normal" faults. That's really what it comes down to. Kudos to you for being the understanding father.

It can't be easy for them and helping them have some alone time without baby once in awhile, could do wonders for them. I hope all goes great!

Not gonna give advices but wish you the best!

every child needs a father that choking next time would be strike 3