psychological erection failure - questions
 

i need some input on this. Made a thread on another board a few days ago, these are the cliffnotes til now:
- last week i went out & was extremely smashed on alcohol, brought a girl home and when i tried to fuck her i couldnt get it up, which i hadnt experienced before.
- the day after that i thought about it too much. That night I went out again, hooked up with the same chick again and did a car session.. It looked promising until some interruptions (cop went by, chick brought up condoms), I started thinking again, result was that this was unsuccesful too.
- Next day: naturally i was really down this day and it was becoming an obsession.. chick wanted to meet up again, we did but i really wasnt in the mood so dropped her off.
- Monday: psychologically the ultimate low, thought about it so much that it really fucked me up in my head.
- Yesterday: she was horny again, so i thought 'just do it' otherwise id be walking around with this too much. It was a sex date, nothing else so i started thinking about it again. It was an afternoon session at my place so no alcohol this time, but i definately wasnt ready, i put too much pressure on myself (she noticed this too).. we were busy for a pretty long time ended in the shower, and as i was feeling more relaxed it started to work a bit again but not entirely. So to look positively at this it was a half-success.
My mind is a roller coaster now with ups and downs. After the last session i was surprisingly cool about it, even laughing about it because its just stupid your brain can affect you so much, and i didnt mind so much anymore, i thought hey i know the shit works i just gotta get over it.

What should i do... maybe try it first again with another chick, maybe even order an escort or something? Because i dont want the next time to fail again with the same chick, thats also fucked up for her... How do i get this out of my mind? any techniques?
(btw some might say im crazy im sharing all this here but i don't care, i can use all the pointers i can get)

welcome back to GFY, at least i won't have to chase you on other boards after the Champions League final :)

edit: read the thread, not sure what advice to give.... maybe you didn't get laid for a while? or jerked off too much? ;)

Are you sure you're attracted to her? I can't get it up for some chick that I have no physical attraction to. It takes a lot more than a warm, wet hole to get me up.

get her to suck it until it's hard.

take a guy out, see what happens, you could be flaming

in 4 the lulz.

Was she wearing wooden clogs?

yup that normally works for me.. that or buy some penis pills but bjs are so much more fun :1orglaugh

PA thanks for the welcome back :thumbsup
Babaganoosh, funny you say this because she ain't the type of girl im normally attracted to, this went through my mind yesterday when i was looking at her afterwards when she was naked.... i hope that this is the problem lol.
& the sucking suggestion, tried that but wasnt really a success...
And no, im not gay :1orglaugh

Worth a shot. :2 cents:

As for the OP just do her fast and furious before you have a chance to think.

Here think about this for awhile instead:

Once you finally get it up and slip it in, you're probably going to have another emotional seizure and bust your nut right away, leaving her unsatisfied and just done with you all together.

Sometimes if I'm stressed I have problems getting it up, I don't not get it up, I just struggle for a few mins to get it hard... I usually go down on her until it's hard and then I beat the living shit out of her pussy like Patrick Bateman.

Red light district is the answer!

next time a girl is sucking on you picture Juicy doing it and if that works you must be gay :1orglaugh

I've never not got hard from a hot or ugly girl sucking on my cock drunk or sober.. Have woke up to ugly girls that were horny and told them my head hurts to much from the hangover to fuck them but they can blow me.. I've never had a ugly BJ

You are totally mind fucking yourself. I see this happen a lot with male talent. Once they have performance failure, it is all over.

Try this. Get some Vialipro or Orexis pills. They will help to get you hard and much less dangerous than Viagra plus they are over the counter. Then get yourself some chick to bang whether it is the same gal or another one. You need to have a successful session to get your mind to stop focusing on your performance issues. Until that happens, you are screwed. Or not screwed in this case, lol.

cialis??

Truth ^ :2 cents:

Yeah buy PENIS PILLS!!!! some ROARING TIGER.... :)

I don't know.... If your not enjoying a BJ then something is wrong! Maybe not the chick for you???.... Maybe age??? I don't know how old you are but as you get older it gets harder for men to get and maintain erections....

Been through it almost play by play.

Already shot you some advise on other board.
:winkwink:

That's my thought

eating that pussy did do a little bit and im into that, the sucking also did a little bit but both not enough... ive just been thinking about being attracted to her, and well she has a good body and she aint ugly but i do know that she's absolutely not a chick id step to... she was the one trying to pick me up when i first met her haha... hmm maybe I was just too focused on myself!

yep i know, the advice is much appreciated :thumbsup

Had a similar deal in college when I was in my first 3-way. Got total freak out performance anxiety and took forever to get started. If I'm in familiar territory I'm rock solid early and I last forever, but in weird psych out situations I have a lot of trouble getting it up initially.

Sucks big time.

Any more advice other than the obvious?

I can't believe she stuck around after your dick failed multiple times. She sounds like a real keeper right there, except for the fact she probably thinks you have a pussy not a cock.

so you're saying she's a lesbian??


and that she still sticks around, even with all this shit going on right now, well i have mad attraction power to chicks. (tbh i am surprised myself :1orglaugh)

when she is trying to get ypu hard close your eyes and think of a guy.

if that works cool, but you may have another issue now

Are you eating enough food, getting enough water? Fluids?

You could check out: http://hornygoatonweed.com for free pills / patches, or promote the pills & patches [in sig].

Pics or it didn't happen.

well last week when it started i was living on alcohol for almost the whole week (a dutch holiday through the week, connecting those days to the weekend, partying the whole time), i smoke a lot lately, stopped my exercising routine for several months now... so no, im not living very healthy at this point in time haha... i think its a combination of everything including not really being attracted to her.

to be honest booze and tubby girl kills it for me too.

try it sober next time, snort a line of cialis and try not to think of mom.

im going to jack off later

Hella lulz, good luck nico. Just think about bustin one in her eye.

do some high-grade coke

My friend asked me recently about the same problem. He was dating a new girl after breaking up with his long term gf. Being that he wasn't totally comfortable with her yet he was Mind Fucking himself, and having trouble with the wood. The anxiety and worrying can snowball fast. I told him to bulletproof his mind check out these NLP tapes www.learningstrategies.com

Good Luck:thumbsup

Try a different girl.

why are you asking me?

Hope it works out

thought id never get back to this thread but here's an update. After a couple more times with this chick it was working fine again. Ive had a sex relation with her for the following ~2 months, then i ended it a couple of weeks ago.

Now ive met a new chick who i like alot, beautiful, just my type of girl.... And this fucking shit is back. Same shit: Lots of booze for both of us last saturday, when i took her to my place for the 1st time.... dick failure. Mindfuck all over again. 2 days ago she invited me over to her place, all sober: Again, failure. How the fuck is this possible, i thought i was over this shit?? Tonight im hooking up with her again. I think i have to just hook up with her alot and try it, seemed to work the last time. But I hate it that it's back especially with this girl. Is this now the normal way how it goes everytime i meet a new chick? It's a living hell.

A few drinks are no problem, but when you're totally smashed there's no way you can get a boner. Either stop drinking before sex or pop some viagra.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

cant imagine you ever needing penis pills LOL

true. but the thought of it happening again makes it happen again, even when im sober.. i need to clear my mind.

positive state of mind all day.
didnt fucking work AGAIN.
making jokes, taking it lightly.
then she says 'but yours doesnt work haha'
me pissed off.
she 'sorry sorry didnt mean it this way'.
shes asleep now. Thought id share this really fucking perfect update.

get some pills.

69 helps too.

That's the issue :2 cents:

Calm down and make her lick it first :thumbsup

I'll try to offer some advice after I stop laughing.

Okay, so . . .

So what turns you on when you surf porn... go watch some tube videos and whatever gets your hard tell her to do.

Problem Solved.

Or you can continue posting on boards asking for advice on how to fuck....

the more you think about it the worse it's gonna get. Weed and booze wont help either.
Try some clean living for a few weeks.

dont mess around if you start going to have sex again, just make sure she's wet or lubed up and get to fucking her as quickly as you can, no fore play. Do it as hard and fast as you can too.

:2 cents:

after i made the last post i watched some porn to get in the mood, went to bed, woke her up and fucked her pretty succesfully! not perfect yet but its coming back..... for now im quite happy, finally. Not sure why i share this all, i think to have someone to vent to. thanks for the comments all whether theyre positive or negative.... i appreciate it all.