50 Surefire Tips On How To Jumpstart Michael Jackson's Career:
 

- bring back his "Thriller" face
- no more kids
- no more chimps
- inject back some melatonin in his skin
- ask out Madonna again but with Britney and Beyonce and take her to the next Grammy's
- bed Paris Hilton
- bed Lindsey Lohan
- bed the Olsen twins
- bed all the babes in The Hills
- be bosom buddies with Jenna Jameson or any other pornstar

- hang out with Britney
- appear as himself in a cameo in Entourage
- appear in a cameo as one of the kooky scientists in Eureka
- appear in a cameo in Survivor as one of the natives
- appear as a perp in CSI
- be a costumed crimefighting vigilante
- beg Quincey Jones to work with him again
- show his crotch to the paparazzi when he gets out of the car
- join Dancing With The Stars

- join Jeopardy as one of the contestants
- have his own Shopping Network Show entitled "Shopping With A Million Dollars"
- adopt an African child (but instead of Africa, adopt a New Orleans orphan)
- appear regularly in Hugh Hefner's parties
- try modulating his voice into a baritone
- make a video "I f**ked Ben Affleck AND Matt Damon"
- hawk his bobbing head doll in QVC and the Home Shopping Network
- record a threeway with FEMALE prostitutes then upload it in Xtube.com
- appear in other people's work like Lordi, Death Cab for Cutie and High School Musical albums in no particular order.
- appear in fashion shows with Sarah Jessica Parker
- appear as a judge in "America's Top Model" then make a hissy fit and have a fistfight with Tyra Banks
- impregnate Tyra
- impregnate Heidi Montague
- impregnate Oprah

- be arrested for DUI
- be a new Ambassador of Goodwill for the UN
- hangout eith Brangelina
- drink more beer
- eat more steak
- smoke weed (and only weed)
- teach underprivileged kids to "Moonwalk" with strict supervision of their parents
- sell Neverland and live with Dolly Parton in Dollyland
- sell his autobiography into a Hollywood movie starring Chris
- appear on The View, Martha Stewart and Oprah all at the same time as a publicity stunt
- appear in new seasons of the Amazing Race (with sister Janet) and Fear Factor
- get all his brothers and sisters together for a reunion album
- appear in the centerfold of Playgirl magazine
- appear as a lone male model in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
- if all else fails, he can always kill himself

- make a song with akon

:1orglaugh

- fire his plastic surgeon?

I was also thinking of cloning a new one. That way, he can start fresh.